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Oops...
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Aussie Paul. -- Edited by aussie_paul on Thursday 13th of April 2017 07:51:59 PM
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aussie_paul
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Could be the truth..
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aussie_paul
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Alrready there???
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aussie_paul
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765
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here's a couple
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1.You can't run through a camp-site, you can only ran because it's..........past tents. 2.I walked into a bar and ordered a fruit punch.The Bartender says" If you want a punch you'll have to stand in line". I looked around but there was no punch line! 3.People in Dubai don't like the Flinstones, but pe...
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Peterpan
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778
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Senior's cars..
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aussie_paul
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870
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Smoking in the rain
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Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking. Arlene: What in the hell is that? Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet. Arlene: Where did you g...
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Moorey
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741
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Stevie Wonder
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Stevie Wonder is playing his 1st gig in China and the place is packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice he asks if anyone has a request. One chap jumps out of his seat in the 1st row and shouts at the top of his voice "Play a jazz chord! play a jazz chord!" Amazed that this guy knows about the jazz infl...
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rgren2
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754
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One of my favourites
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Two old diggers had been out in the bush for ages, their ute had broken down and they were just about on their last legs trying to walk out of the bush and find help. Finally, in the distance, they saw the few buildings and sheds of a small bush town. As they entered town a signpost informed them the town's na...
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Mike Harding
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1012
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lol...
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aussie_paul
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681
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Husband takes his wife to her high school reunion
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After meeting several of her friends and former school mates, they are sitting at a table where he is yawning and overly bored. The band cranks up and people are beginning to dance.There's a guy on the dance floor living it large, break dancing, moon walking, back flipping, buying drinks for people, t...
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Yarra
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881
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The cat has died
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Sam, Billy, and Bobby, were three friends, who grew up together They had never married, and purchased a large house togetherSam went away overseas on a holiday package tourHe loved his cat, so he arranged for his two best friends to look after it He also gave them his holiday itinerary, in case they nee...
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Tony Bev
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1037
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Fish Hook.
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A young guy from Nebraska moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says, "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Omaha." Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow." I...
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Possum3
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1115
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Homeless man
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This morning I was sitting on a park bench next to a homeless man.I started a conversation by asking him how he ended up this way. He said,"Up until last week, I had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes werewashed and pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had TV and Internet, and Iwent to the gym, the pool,...
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Yarra
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775
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ha ha.
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aussie_paul
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735
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Fruit
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My wife is on a tropical fruit diet, the house is full of the stuff. It'a enough to make a mango crazy.
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Peterpan
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775
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Little Johnny Again
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Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his Mother. 'Mummy,...
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Yarra
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lol....
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aussie_paul
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632
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Today I am..
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aussie_paul
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701
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Son's First Pint.....
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I was reading an article about fathers and sons and memories came flooding back to the time I took my son for his first pint.We went to the local and I ordered a VB which he did not like so I drank it.I then ordered a Hahn Dry which he did not like either so I drank that as well.I thought he might like a Canadian...
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kiwijims
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730
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Holy Cow
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Economic models explained through the medium of... cows. SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM Y...
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Yarra
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