Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

"As good as this bar is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow , there's a wee place called McTavish's.... The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink." "Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London , the Red...

Bushpie · Bushpie

Husband and wife had been arguing for hours on the road. As they pass a herd of jackasses the wife quips "Relatives of yours" Husband ever so calmy replies............ "Yep...............in laws." -- Edited by Bushpie on Friday 1st of April 2016 09:41:19 AM

rgren2 · rgren2

On a beautiful desolate island in the middle of nowhere, the following group of people are shipwrecked :-2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman2 French men and 1 French woman2 German men and 1 German woman2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman2 C...

rgren2 · rgren2

Little Johnny !HonestyYup, some people cant handle the truth!My Favorite AnimalOur teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fr...

Woody2 · Woody2

I went to my nearby Whites Pharmacy, straight to the back, where the Pharmacists high counter is located. I took out my little brown bottle, along with a teaspoon, and set them up on the counter.The Pharmacist came over, smiled, and asked if he could help me.I said, "Yes! Could you please taste th...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

The Picnic A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter. "This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why s...

goldfinger · goldfinger

One typically Western Queensland story, I've told before, that bears re-telling...as I laugh at it while I'm typing......... A DROVER WALKS INTO A WESTERN QLD BAR WITH HIS PET CROCODILE.......... A drover walks into a bar in Western Queensland with his pet crocodile by his side.. He puts the cr...

Woody2 · Woody2

Random Breath Test Bit of a slow day at the office, but you just never know where they will turn up! Box Yards Road between Ivanhoe and Booligal (about 100km north west of Hay in New South Wales).

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

On the first day at the new seniors complex, the manager addressed all the new seniors, pointing out some of the rules: "The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds for all males, and the male dormitory to the females. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

An English tourist was driving through New Zealand when he noticed a man on the side of the road having sex with a sheep. A few kilometersfurther on he came upon a small town, so he parked his car and went into the pub for a drink. He grabbed a cold beer, sat at a table, andthen took a look around the bar. He i...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

An elderly couple were celebrating their 60th anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighbourhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk theyd share...

kiwijims · kiwijims

Memorable Password Always choose a memorable password! A lady helps her husband install a new computer. Once it is completed, she tells him to select a password, Selecting a word that he'll always remember. As the computer asks him to enter it, he looks at his wife And with a macho gesture and a win...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A genuine joke from Queensland. It is well known that humour is regional, but this is the first joke that I can say is truly a Queenslander: At a national conference of the Australian Hotels Association, the general managers of Cascade Brewery (Tasmania), Tooheys (New South Wales), XXXX (Queensl...

Woody2 · Woody2

Sex life and Coca-Cola Two friends meet after many years ... They talk about their past life ... One asks the other: "And how's your sex life?? ...." "Good As Coca-Cola ......." "Oh great! .... Full of bubbles, eh?! ...." "Nothing like that! ..." Before it was 'NORMAL', Then it became 'LIGHT' ...

kiwijims · kiwijims

YOU HAVE TO LOVE A GOOD NURSE A policeman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well, however,The patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch. Worried that it might be a second surgery and the doctors hadn'tTold...

Bessie · Bessie

A blonde tries to go horseback riding even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into action. It gallops along at a steady rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to lose her grip and starts to slide in the saddle. In terror, sh...

Yarra · Yarra

1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6) 2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6) 3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (age 7) 4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, jus...

pipes · pipes

This lovely young lady was pedalling her pushbike along the street. Suddenly she hit a hole in the road, resulting in her hurting her vagina. Parking her bike, she walked, somewhat bow legged into nearby doctors office. On seeing a young doctor, she explained the problem and the pain. The doctor aske...

Moorey · Moorey

Have a Happy and Safe Easter Moorey

kiwijims · kiwijims

A couple on an African Safari witnessed a small antelope being chased down by a cheetah. While the kill was about to happen before their eyes, the husband casually remarked, Ill bet the antelope gets away. The wife answered, If that antelope survives this one, Ill give you sex every day for the rest o...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Drinking in Galway, Ireland. (Preview) "As good as this bar is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow , there's a wee place called McTavish's.... The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink." "Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London , the Red...	aussie_paul	0	860	06:59 PM Apr 1, 2016 by aussie_paul
	DONT ARGUE (Preview) Husband and wife had been arguing for hours on the road. As they pass a herd of jackasses the wife quips "Relatives of yours" Husband ever so calmy replies............ "Yep...............in laws." -- Edited by Bushpie on Friday 1st of April 2016 09:41:19 AM	Bushpie	0	1023	09:40 AM Apr 1, 2016 by Bushpie
	On a desolate island (Preview) On a beautiful desolate island in the middle of nowhere, the following group of people are shipwrecked :-2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman2 French men and 1 French woman2 German men and 1 German woman2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman2 C...	rgren2	0	871	09:36 AM Apr 1, 2016 by rgren2
	Little Johnny (Preview) Little Johnny !HonestyYup, some people cant handle the truth!My Favorite AnimalOur teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fr...	rgren2	0	882	11:23 PM Mar 31, 2016 by rgren2
	listen to your Doctor’s instructions. (Preview) I went to my nearby Whites Pharmacy, straight to the back, where the Pharmacists high counter is located. I took out my little brown bottle, along with a teaspoon, and set them up on the counter.The Pharmacist came over, smiled, and asked if he could help me.I said, "Yes! Could you please taste th...	Woody2	0	800	04:58 PM Mar 31, 2016 by Woody2
	Three jokes on a theme... (Preview) The Picnic A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter. "This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why s...	aussie_paul	0	841	04:05 PM Mar 30, 2016 by aussie_paul
	Another Queensland Regional Story.... (Preview) One typically Western Queensland story, I've told before, that bears re-telling...as I laugh at it while I'm typing......... A DROVER WALKS INTO A WESTERN QLD BAR WITH HIS PET CROCODILE.......... A drover walks into a bar in Western Queensland with his pet crocodile by his side.. He puts the cr...	goldfinger	0	772	12:17 AM Mar 30, 2016 by goldfinger
	Random Breath Test (Preview) Random Breath Test Bit of a slow day at the office, but you just never know where they will turn up! Box Yards Road between Ivanhoe and Booligal (about 100km north west of Hay in New South Wales).	Woody2	3	1326	11:43 PM Mar 29, 2016 by goldfinger
	New seniors’ complex rules.. (Preview) On the first day at the new seniors complex, the manager addressed all the new seniors, pointing out some of the rules: "The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds for all males, and the male dormitory to the females. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."...	aussie_paul	2	976	04:28 PM Mar 29, 2016 by aussie_paul
	And now one for the New Zealanders... (Preview) An English tourist was driving through New Zealand when he noticed a man on the side of the road having sex with a sheep. A few kilometersfurther on he came upon a small town, so he parked his car and went into the pub for a drink. He grabbed a cold beer, sat at a table, andthen took a look around the bar. He i...	aussie_paul	4	1000	10:35 AM Mar 29, 2016 by Bryan
	No one believes seniors . . . Everyone thinks they are senile. (Preview) An elderly couple were celebrating their 60th anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighbourhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk theyd share...	aussie_paul	2	950	09:47 AM Mar 29, 2016 by Yarra
	A Memorable Password (Preview) Memorable Password Always choose a memorable password! A lady helps her husband install a new computer. Once it is completed, she tells him to select a password, Selecting a word that he'll always remember. As the computer asks him to enter it, he looks at his wife And with a macho gesture and a win...	kiwijims	1	954	12:03 AM Mar 29, 2016 by Bruce and Bev
	Bloody Queenslanders... (Preview) A genuine joke from Queensland. It is well known that humour is regional, but this is the first joke that I can say is truly a Queenslander: At a national conference of the Australian Hotels Association, the general managers of Cascade Brewery (Tasmania), Tooheys (New South Wales), XXXX (Queensl...	aussie_paul	1	1191	12:02 AM Mar 29, 2016 by Bruce and Bev
	coca-cola (Preview) Sex life and Coca-Cola Two friends meet after many years ... They talk about their past life ... One asks the other: "And how's your sex life?? ...." "Good As Coca-Cola ......." "Oh great! .... Full of bubbles, eh?! ...." "Nothing like that! ..." Before it was 'NORMAL', Then it became 'LIGHT' ...	Woody2	1	881	11:53 PM Mar 28, 2016 by Bruce and Bev
	THAT WILL TEACH THIS COPPER ...... (Preview) YOU HAVE TO LOVE A GOOD NURSE A policeman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well, however,The patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch. Worried that it might be a second surgery and the doctors hadn'tTold...	kiwijims	0	766	12:34 PM Mar 28, 2016 by kiwijims
	Horseback Rider (Preview) A blonde tries to go horseback riding even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into action. It gallops along at a steady rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to lose her grip and starts to slide in the saddle. In terror, sh...	Bessie	0	1031	08:41 AM Mar 28, 2016 by Bessie
	Children Writing About the Ocean... (Preview) 1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6) 2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6) 3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (age 7) 4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, jus...	Yarra	3	1215	10:23 PM Mar 27, 2016 by Bryan
	The lovely young lady and the doctor (Preview) This lovely young lady was pedalling her pushbike along the street. Suddenly she hit a hole in the road, resulting in her hurting her vagina. Parking her bike, she walked, somewhat bow legged into nearby doctors office. On seeing a young doctor, she explained the problem and the pain. The doctor aske...	pipes	1	1023	09:44 PM Mar 27, 2016 by ST391GQ
	It"s Easter (Preview) Have a Happy and Safe Easter Moorey	Moorey	1	920	12:26 AM Mar 26, 2016 by June
	Drama in the Serengeti (Preview) A couple on an African Safari witnessed a small antelope being chased down by a cheetah. While the kill was about to happen before their eyes, the husband casually remarked, Ill bet the antelope gets away. The wife answered, If that antelope survives this one, Ill give you sex every day for the rest o...	kiwijims	3	1371	04:10 PM Mar 24, 2016 by kiwijims
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