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A few oldies...
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My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Marriage is a three-ring circus:Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. ---------------------------------...
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aussie_paul
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0
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668
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True love
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A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands.
The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"
All the women raised their hands.
Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"
Some women answered toda...
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oldbloke
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2
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795
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Another oldie I just came accross.
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So I'm at Pets at Home buying a bag of dog food for my dogs. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Dog Food Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't because I ended u...
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Possum3
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0
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743
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A few chuckles......
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kiwijims
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0
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711
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Mopping up a case...........
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kiwijims
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0
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547
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Parkinson's or Alzheimers....
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aussie_paul
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0
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702
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South Africa bed and breakfast....
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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684
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It's not necessary to lie...just choose the right words...
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One for DMaxer...lmao....although I don't know many Lawyers would have rental agreements...the last Lawyer I went to said he charged $300 for three questions..I said 'that's rather steep, isn't it?'..."It is,....and what is your final question?'...... A Lawyer who had a wife and 12 children, n...
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Goldfinger
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0
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600
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Golf cart accident......
(Preview)
While golfing, a senior Grey Nomad/Gentleman, accidentally overturned his golf cart late one afternoon. An extremely attractive, young female golfer, who lives in a Villa on the Golf Course, heard the noise and called out, "Hi there, are you O.K?"..... "I'm OK, thanks" the Gentleman Nomad replie...
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Goldfinger
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0
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638
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Winerisms
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RustyD
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1
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822
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Man Steamrolled......
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A quickie!..=...a quick funny.....ahh the mammories. when a quickie had an entirely different/better meaning!..lol.......we must be the only group who can even remember what a steamroller is..Hoo Roo -- Edited by Goldfinger on Wednesday 26th of July 2017 06:56:45 PM
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Goldfinger
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0
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673
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And so it goes..
(Preview)
At the regular Saturday morning service, the rabbi announced thathe was planning to leave for a larger congregation that would pay him more.There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.Fred Shapiro, who owns several car dealerships in Newton and Brookl...
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aussie_paul
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0
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947
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Headache
(Preview)
Joe had suffered from really bad headaches for the last 20 years.He eventually decides to go and see a Doctor.The Doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your sp...
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rgren2
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0
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772
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How to handle a person cutting in line
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aussie_paul
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0
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801
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SENIOR STUFF....
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SENIOR ROMANCEAn older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.A few moments lat...
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aussie_paul
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0
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672
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Little johnny again.
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A family are driving behind a garbage truck, when a very large vibrator flies out of the truck and hits the windscreen. To hide her embarrassment the mother turns and says to her young children, "Hey, kids ... that certainly was a big insect." Little 7 year old Johnny, her son, says "Sure was ... I...
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aussie_paul
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0
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706
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Dark in here.
(Preview)
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to... watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The littl...
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Possum3
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0
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732
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For computer geeks
(Preview)
Please be more specific. I upgraded my girlfriend to wife and had all kind of issues. I saved my chat with tech support if any of you have had the same problems.Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing t...
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rgren2
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1
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701
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Possums..
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The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their possums. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded thepossums were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.At the Baptist church the possums had taken an interest in the baptis...
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aussie_paul
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2
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778
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The destroyer Captain
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The destroyer Captain gets on the loud-speaker and shouts, "Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"One of the Muslims puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, "We are invading Britain".The entire crew on the destroyer doubles over in laughter.When the Captain finally catches his breath, he g...
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aussie_paul
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1
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734
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