|
A man is in a hotel lobby...
(Preview)
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him, and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.They are both startled and he says, Maam, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know youll forgive me.She replie...
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
774
|
|
|
|
|
35 Years of Marriage
(Preview)
After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counselling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unl...
|
Paintar
|
1
|
759
|
|
|
|
|
What happened?
(Preview)
Hillary Clinton goes to a gifted-student primary school in New York to talk about the world. After her talk she offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is. "Kenneth" he says. "And what is your question, Kenneth, she asks. "I have three questions" he says. "...
|
fwdoz
|
0
|
733
|
|
|
|
|
Typical macho man...
(Preview)
Typical macho man married a typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:Ill be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I dont expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I wont be home for dinner. Ill go hunt...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
706
|
|
|
|
|
The parrot said...
(Preview)
A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said,Hey, lady! Youre really ugly! The lady was furious and continued on her way. On the way home, she passed by the pet store again and the parrot once more said:Hey, lady! Youre really ugly! She was incredibly ticked now, so she went into the store and...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
702
|
|
|
|
|
Joke time...
(Preview)
***JOKE TIME ***Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.' The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. 'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry.. The owner puts the budgies in a cardbo...
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
728
|
|
|
|
|
Circus...
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
2
|
922
|
|
|
|
|
Think you are having a bad day?
(Preview)
Think you are having a bad day? Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask. A postmortem test rev...
|
aussie_paul
|
2
|
795
|
|
|
|
|
The organist..
(Preview)
The Organist There was a small church in Texas that had a very big-busted organist. Her breasts were so huge that they inadvertently bounced and jiggled the entire time she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted most of the congregation considerably, both male and female. The very p...
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
643
|
|
|
|
|
Old suffragette.
(Preview)
A drunken man is stumbling along a main street in town, A old local biddy that was always poking her nose where it wasn't wanted, Went over to the drunk soundly chastising him, and said; If you were my husband, I would poison all your liquor. The drunk stammered out; Lady if you were my wife - I'd drink it!
|
Possum3
|
1
|
755
|
|
|
|
|
Enough.
(Preview)
A man stopped at his favourite watering hole after a hard days work to relax. He noticed a man next to him ordered a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked into his shirt pocket. This continued several times before the man's curiosity got the best of him. He leaned...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
773
|
|
|
|
|
Do you check, under the bed for prowlers?
(Preview)
Do you check, under the bed for prowlers, before you get into bed of an evening? If you do, what are you going to do if there is one under there?
|
Possum3
|
1
|
851
|
|
|
|
|
I think he miss understood
(Preview)
|
Woody n Sue
|
5
|
1139
|
|
|
|
|
Fan belt...
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
939
|
|
|
|
|
New York Cabbie
(Preview)
A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City and laid on the back seat. The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab. The woman glared back at him and said, "What's wrong with you, honey? Haven't y...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
724
|
|
|
|
|
Grandpa!!!!
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
887
|
|
|
|
|
Friends...
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
712
|
|
|
|
|
9MM
(Preview)
|
Paintar
|
0
|
820
|
|
|
|
|
hmmm glad I’m not a pharmacist
(Preview)
The other day I went over to a nearby Pharmacy.When I got there, I went straight to the back of the Store to where the Pharmacists Counter is located.I took out my little brown bottle along with a teaspoon and laid them both onto the counter.The Pharmacist came over smiled and asked if he could help me...
|
Woody n Sue
|
1
|
941
|
|
|
|
|
Profane Polly
(Preview)
A man goes to a pet store in order to buy himself an exotic bird. He tells the clerk, You know I've had a number of pet birds in my life and now I'm looking for something really special. Have anything I might like? Yes sir, I do. I have a South American parrot rumored to have a vocabulary of over 400 words. H...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
877
|
|
|
