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The retiring priest
(Preview)
A Priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local figure and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited...
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fwdoz
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1
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943
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How is Noreen?
(Preview)
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"The operator said "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number?" The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said "Noreen, in Room 302"....
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fwdoz
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1
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954
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The boy finally speaks
(Preview)
The eight-year old boy had never spoken a word - ever. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said "Soup's cold". His astonished mother exclaimed "Son, I've waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you've never said a thing. Why haven't you spoken before?" The b...
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fwdoz
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0
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684
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Good old Moonshine
(Preview)
Two old boys got together to do some fishing. One of them brought along a jar of 'shine' to sip on while they were fishing. After an hour or so it had gotten hot and the minnows were moving pretty slow in the bucket so one of them drizzled a little 'shine' into the minnow bucket and they perked right up. So he r...
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fwdoz
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0
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736
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Debt paid.
(Preview)
A man is attending the funeral of a close friend. One of the mourners sitting in the row him behind stands up and admits he owes the deceased an outstanding debt of $100. I am a man of my word, he says, as he drops 10 $10 notes into the open coffin and makes his way back to his seat. This prompts another mourner...
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Possum3
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0
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780
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The frog.
(Preview)
An elderly man is out walking on a sunny afternoon. As he crosses the meadow he hears a female voice say: Sir, I would like to ask a great favour of you. Confused, he looks around and sees no one, only a frog sitting by the edge of the trail. I must be going nuts, he thinks, theres no one here. He continues on hi...
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Possum3
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0
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783
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Does it hurt?
(Preview)
A man entered the bus with both of his front pants pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, 'It's golf balls'. Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at hi...
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aussie_paul
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1
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983
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Nice treat ..
(Preview)
A Scotsman and his wife walked past a swanky new restaurant last night... "Did you smell that food?" she asked. "Incredible!" Being the 'Kind Hearted Scotsman', he thought, "What the heck, I'll treat her!" So they walked past it again.
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Aus-Kiwi
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1
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1043
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When a dairy farmer does some upgrades
(Preview)
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Aus-Kiwi
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4
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1052
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Only One Vacancy in Heaven
(Preview)
Stormy Daniels (Donald Trump's friend) and QueenElizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day. Theyboth met with an angel to find out if they would beadmitted to HeavenThe angel said: "Unfortunately, there's only one spaceavailable in Heaven today so I must decide which one ofyou will be admi...
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aussie_paul
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1
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896
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A Texan
(Preview)
A Texan went to Chicago and thought he would buy a new "city" outfit. He went into Marshall Fields and when asked by a sweet young woman if she could help him, he answered, "Yes ma'am. Ya see, I'm from Texas and I want to buy a complete city outfit."Her eyes lit up as she asked, "Where would you like to start?...
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rgren2
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0
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846
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Lost on the golf course
(Preview)
A guy was playing golf one day and he got lost. He saw a lady up ahead of him and went to her and said "Can you please help me, I don't know what hole I'm on".She told him "You are one hole behind me. I'm on 7, you're on 6". He thanked her and continued playing golf.On the back nine he got lost again.He saw the same...
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fwdoz
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0
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883
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The boyfriend
(Preview)
A young woman brought her fiancé home to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother told the girl's father to find out about the young man. The father invited the fiancé to his study for a talk. "So, what are your plans?" the father asked the young man. "I am a biblical scholar" he replied. "A biblical sch...
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fwdoz
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0
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795
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Battered & Bruised
(Preview)
A guy goes over to his brother's house all bruised and his clothes torn. His brother says "Man, where have you been?" "I just got back from burying my mother-in-law". "How did you get all bruised and your clothes torn from burying your mother-in-law?" "She wouldn't lie still!"
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fwdoz
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0
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745
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The Old Couple
(Preview)
An elderly couple sat through a porno movie twice. They didn't get up to leave until the theatre was ready to close for the night. "You folks must've enjoyed the show" the usher said. "Disgusting " said the old lady. "It was revolting" her husband added. "Then why did you sit through it twice?" the usher...
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fwdoz
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0
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942
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Passenger Ship
(Preview)
From a passenger ship one can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving is hands. "Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain. "I have no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes mad like that".
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fwdoz
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0
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923
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The Feud
(Preview)
There were some backwoods hillbillies living across the river from each other, who feuded constantly. John hated Clarence with a passion and never passed up a chance to throw rocks across the river at Clarence. This went on for years until one day the Corps of Engineers came to build a bridge across th...
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fwdoz
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0
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946
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Pregnant Lady
(Preview)
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the dri...
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Dave1952
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0
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1043
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Golden Syrup
(Preview)
A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress party.. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note: Dear Sir, Please fi...
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Dave1952
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0
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850
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Copper Wire
(Preview)
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago. Not to be outdone by the Brit's, in the weeks that followed, an American arch...
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Dave1952
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0
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758
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