|
Golf
(Preview)
A husband and a wife were out enjoying a round of golf about to tee off on the third hole which was lined with beautiful homes. The wife hit her shot and the ball began to slice. Her shot was headed directly at a very large plate glass window. Much to their surprise, the ball smashed through the window and sh...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
879
|
|
|
|
|
What could possibly go wrong!!!
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
10
|
1254
|
|
|
|
|
Dad Joke
(Preview)
What did Santa say, When he saw Rudolph's report card from school? "You've gone down in History"
|
Possum3
|
1
|
1126
|
|
|
|
|
Dad Joke #2
(Preview)
What did the Doctor say, when the Gingerbread man had a sore knee? "Did you try icing it?". I promise I won't post any more - today at least.
|
Possum3
|
0
|
905
|
|
|
|
|
Unhappy Women
(Preview)
Women are unhappier than men until they reach their mid-80s, a new survey has found. While men were found to be happier in their younger years, women only overtake them after the age of 85 The NHS Health Survey for England concentrated on 8,000 people, and found a dramatic difference between the gende...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1002
|
|
|
|
|
Self Help?
(Preview)
Went to the bookstore and asked the salesperson where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
|
Relax-n
|
0
|
813
|
|
|
|
|
Theatre Seats for Seniors
(Preview)
Theatre Seats for Seniors An old man lay awkwardly sprawled across three entire seats in themovie theatre.When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man,"Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat."The old man didn't budge. The usher became more impatient: "Sir, if you don't...
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
974
|
|
|
|
|
Cold....
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
1473
|
|
|
|
|
Hide and seek.
(Preview)
1. Buy four little piglets. 2. Paint 1,2,3,5 on their backs. 3. Release the piglets in a Bunnings store. 5. Laugh at the people all looking for number 4.
|
Possum3
|
2
|
1303
|
|
|
|
|
Deserved it.
(Preview)
Child-Bride: I've got splinters in my hand from that old broom. Me: Well you're silly - why didn't you take the car? Doc reckons I'll be able to see out of my right eye soon.
|
Possum3
|
0
|
786
|
|
|
|
|
A Sunday tale.
(Preview)
A priest settled in to his hotel room after a long day on the road. Before heading downstairs for a quick bite to eat, he opened the bible that belonged in the hotel room and had a quick read to soothe his mind. Downstairs in the bar, he struck up a conversation with the barmaid. They spoke for hours before h...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
1439
|
|
|
|
|
Go on .... smile ... it ain't THAT bad :)
(Preview)
|
rockylizard
|
5
|
1255
|
|
|
|
|
I Promise.
(Preview)
It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. The pastor of the church was looking over the cradle when he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures. Immediately he turned and went outside and saw a little boy with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure of the little...
|
Possum3
|
2
|
897
|
|
|
|
|
Late again!
(Preview)
"Late again!" the third-grade teacher sternly said to little Ranger. "It ain't my fault this time, Miss Russell. You can blame this 'un on my Daddy. The reason I'm three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!" Now, Miss Russell had taught grammar school for 30-some-odd years. Despite her mounting fear...
|
Yendorane
|
1
|
985
|
|
|
|
|
Speeding
(Preview)
Cop; "You were driving too fast". Me; "I was just trying to keep up with traffic". Cop;"There are no other cars on the road" Me; "I know! That's how far behind I am"
|
Possum3
|
0
|
921
|
|
|
|
|
Johnny
(Preview)
One day, Johnny sees his father getting out of the shower. Whats that hanging between your legs? he asks. Thats my nerve, says his father. Yours will be this big one of these days. The next day in school, Johnny asks to use the toilet. In a minute, the teacher tells him. Nancy has just gone to the bathroom s...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1150
|
|
|
|
|
Santa Gaoled.
(Preview)
Santa is up before the Judge, Charged with three counts of sex discrimination. Apparently a young lady walked past him in the Mall, And he called out. .................... ........................ ............................ HO, HO, HO
|
Possum3
|
0
|
801
|
|
|
|
|
Perspective.
(Preview)
Pat and Seamus were pouring concrete outside the local brothel when they saw a vicar approaching. The vicar looked around cautiously before entering the building. Look at that! said Seamus. That Protestant minister is an absolute hypocrite! A few hours later, they noticed a rabbi approaching the...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
1018
|
|
|
|
|
NAH .... wouldn't happen......
(Preview)
|
rockylizard
|
1
|
1122
|
|
|
|
|
Golfer with real balls
(Preview)
The man said to the dentist, Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry.I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to get numb.I just want you to pull the tooth, and be done with it!We have a 10:00 am tee time at the best golf course i...
|
Paintar
|
1
|
963
|
|
|
