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Sticking with the animal theme
(Preview)
How to give a cat a pill.... Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth an...
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Possum3
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1
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888
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baby rabbit
(Preview)
Mummy this carrot is pithy Not surprised son your father just pithed on it. -- Edited by dodgincamels on Monday 20th of February 2017 05:21:59 PM
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dodgincamels
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0
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676
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Penguins in a ute and a horse in a bar
(Preview)
A police officer sees a man driving around with a ute full of penguins. He pulls the guy over immediately and says: You cant drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately. The guy says OK, and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the ute f...
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dodgincamels
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0
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701
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Financial Planning
(Preview)
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune. One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he ha...
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Spook
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0
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782
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A new priest at his first mass was so nervous...
(Preview)
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.After the mass, he asked the Monsignor how he had done. The Monsignor replied, When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.Next Sunday the new p...
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aussie_paul
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1
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970
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...should have gone to Spec Savers....no Bull!.....
(Preview)
Bull fighting could be far more dangerous than it looks....lol....Hoo Roo
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Goldfinger
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1
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991
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More Nuns
(Preview)
There were three Sisters of St Bernadette driving in outback Australia and they ran out of petrol - devastating. Sister Angelina said "There's a house over there on the hill, perhaps the farmer could lend us some petrol to get us into town". So the three hopeful Sisters walked across to the homestead a...
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Possum3
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5
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897
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Three nuns
(Preview)
Three nuns died in a terrible car accident.They go up to heaven and St. peter is waiting at the gates, he tells them that before they enter heaven they must answer the question they are faced with correctly or they will go to hell.the first nun gets asked "what was the first man called?"She replys "Adam"...
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oldbloke
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0
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711
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SUICIDE COUNSELING...
(Preview)
SUICIDE COUNSELING A DESPERATE LOOKING WOMAN STOOD POISED ON THE EDGE OF A HIGH BRIDGE, ABOUT TO JUMP OFF. AN OLD HOMELESS BLOKE WHO WAS WANDERING BY STOPPED AND SAID, "LOOK, SINCE YOU'LL BE DEAD IN A FEW MINUTES, AND IT WON'T MATTER TO YOU, HOW ABOUT A QUICKIE BEFORE YOU GO?" SHE SCREAMED, "NO! BUGGER O...
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aussie_paul
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0
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791
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Only An Aussie Can Make You Feel Like A Woman
(Preview)
Default Only An Aussie Can Make You Feel Like A WomanA plane passed through a severe storm. The turbulence was awful, and things went from bad to worse when one wing was struck by lightning.One woman lost it completely.She stood up in the front of the plane and screamed, 'I'm too young to die,' she cried...
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Yarra
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3
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865
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Prison escapee
(Preview)
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair while tying the girl to the bed. He gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.While he's...
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rgren2
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0
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779
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How to become a Greens MP.
(Preview)
A man walks into the Australian Electoral Commission and says to the receptionist,"I would like to put my name forward for the forthcoming elections to be a Green M.P.The receptionist replied, "Certainly sir. Please fill in this form.''He was filling the form OK until he came to the question ''Are y...
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rgren2
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0
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776
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Typical Lawyer?
(Preview)
A very successful attorney parked his brand new Porsche 911 Turbo in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he was getting out, a truck came barreling down the road, drifted right and completely tore off the driver's door. Fortunately, a cop was close enough to see the accident a...
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Possum3
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0
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752
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Night Class
(Preview)
During work Mike and John are chatting, Mike: "I've been taking night courses for five months now, and I have an exam next week." John: "Oh!" Mike: "For example, do you know who Graham Bell is?" John: "No."... Mike: "He is the inventor of the phone in 1876. If you take night courses you would know this." T...
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Possum3
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0
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691
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Back in my day......
(Preview)
Back in my day.... and the most sensitive part of your body was invariably your ears/hearing.....lmao...Hoo Roo
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Goldfinger
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0
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878
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What harm can it do
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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1
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914
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Why men should not write advice columns...
(Preview)
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Goldfinger
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0
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847
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ED perhaps not one for the ladies
(Preview)
The Doctor took the husband in first. The husband was a bit embarrassed, and told the Doctor he had trouble getting a lasting erection with his wife and she was getting quite frustrated. The doctor checked the man's blood pressure, and other vital statistics..then said he was going to check with hi...
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Woody n Sue
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0
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828
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Humour - when you have time.
(Preview)
I accidently started on this page and lost an hour I'll never get back https://au.pinterest.com/explore/humor/
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Possum3
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0
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843
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Sad day for a mate.......Warning,tad off colour.....
(Preview)
A very sad day today, After seven years of training in the medical field and hard work, a very good friend of mine was fired after one minor discretion. He slept with one of his clients, and can no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort, training and money.... A genuinely nice guy an...
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Goldfinger
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0
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754
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