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A few oldies...
(Preview)
80 Year old Woman on Birth Control Pills:A doctor who had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next check-up, the new young doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. Looking through these, his eyes grew as he realized Gr...
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aussie_paul
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1
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969
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True Love
(Preview)
A husband and wife are drinking wine when, out of the blue, the wife sighs. ?I love you,? she says quietly. The husband narrows his eyes. ?Is that you or the wine talking?? ?It?s me,? says the wife, ?talking to the wine.?
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Possum3
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1
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942
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Irishman's letter to a doctor - Adults Only
(Preview)
Dear Sir,I wish to apply for an operation to make me sterile. My reasons are numerous, and having been married for 7 years and having 7 children, I have come to the conclusion that contraceptives are useless. When first married, we were told to use the rhythm method. Despite trying to dance the qui...
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aussie_paul
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2
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1178
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Smart Ass.
(Preview)
A donkey is carrying a huge load across a farm when a pig, Happily laying on his back in the soft mud says to the donkey; "Look at yourself. Old, Skinny, always working for the farmer. And look at me laying around doing nothing, just enjoying myself living life and the farmer feeds me every day". The donke...
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Possum3
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3
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1283
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The Banker
(Preview)
And, if you think Bankers don't have heart, read the best Banker story of all time... bar none. The City's largest Charitable Organization realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful Banker. So a volunteer paid the Banker a visit in his lavish office. The volun...
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Possum3
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2
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967
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The Jury
(Preview)
During a trial, the clerk addressed the prisoner in the dock Do you wish to challenge the jury? The prisoner looked at the people assembled. Well, not all of them at once, he said, but I reckon I could go a few rounds with the little chubby guy in the middle for starters.
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Possum3
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2
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1391
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How heavy?
(Preview)
A woman noticed her husband trying to weigh himself on the bathroom scale. Each time he stepped on, he started sucking in his stomach. Thats not going to help, darling, said the wife. Trust me. Its already working, the husband said smugly. Now I can see the numbers.
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Possum3
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1
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1027
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When you feel a bit stupid read this
(Preview)
If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius..,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, (On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)Question: If you could li...
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Tony Bev
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2
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1340
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In Church.
(Preview)
Louise walked in to church one day in a see-through blouse and the priest stopped her from going any further. You cant come into church like that, he said. Yes, I can, said Louise. I have a divine right. You have a divine left as well, my dear, said the priest. But you still cant come in without a hat.
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Possum3
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1
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1198
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1st Prize
(Preview)
Snow white, Superman and Pinochio are walking down the street. They come across a sign that says : Beauty Contest.. Snow white says she is going to enter. After a while she comes out with the 1st prize!... They walk further and come across a sign that reads : Strongest man contest. Superman ente...
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Paintar
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7
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1431
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Golf
(Preview)
A husband and a wife were out enjoying a round of golf about to tee off on the third hole which was lined with beautiful homes. The wife hit her shot and the ball began to slice. Her shot was headed directly at a very large plate glass window. Much to their surprise, the ball smashed through the window and sh...
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Possum3
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1
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851
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Golf
(Preview)
A husband and a wife were out enjoying a round of golf about to tee off on the third hole which was lined with beautiful homes. The wife hit her shot and the ball began to slice. Her shot was headed directly at a very large plate glass window. Much to their surprise, the ball smashed through the window and sh...
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Possum3
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1
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871
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What could possibly go wrong!!!
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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10
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1249
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Dad Joke
(Preview)
What did Santa say, When he saw Rudolph's report card from school? "You've gone down in History"
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Possum3
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1
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1122
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Dad Joke #2
(Preview)
What did the Doctor say, when the Gingerbread man had a sore knee? "Did you try icing it?". I promise I won't post any more - today at least.
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Possum3
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0
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901
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Unhappy Women
(Preview)
Women are unhappier than men until they reach their mid-80s, a new survey has found. While men were found to be happier in their younger years, women only overtake them after the age of 85 The NHS Health Survey for England concentrated on 8,000 people, and found a dramatic difference between the gende...
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Possum3
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0
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999
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Self Help?
(Preview)
Went to the bookstore and asked the salesperson where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
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Relax-n
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0
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801
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Theatre Seats for Seniors
(Preview)
Theatre Seats for Seniors An old man lay awkwardly sprawled across three entire seats in themovie theatre.When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man,"Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat."The old man didn't budge. The usher became more impatient: "Sir, if you don't...
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aussie_paul
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1
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969
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Cold....
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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1
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1426
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Hide and seek.
(Preview)
1. Buy four little piglets. 2. Paint 1,2,3,5 on their backs. 3. Release the piglets in a Bunnings store. 5. Laugh at the people all looking for number 4.
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Possum3
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2
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1300
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