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Boom boom!
(Preview)
- The Grim Reaper came for me last night , and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death. - A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.... - I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave....
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fwdoz
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0
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483
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|
|
|
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Nearly a Doctor
(Preview)
I was almost a Doctor When I was young in 1980's, I decided I wanted to a be doctor so I took the entrance exam to go to Medical School One of the questions asked us was to rearrange the letters PNEIS into the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect. Those who answered 'spine' are d...
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fwdoz
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0
|
529
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|
|
|
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The Coolangatta Flight
(Preview)
A jumbo jet is making its final approach to Coolangatta Airport. The pilot comes on the intercom, 'This is your Captain. We're on our final descent . I want to thank you for flying with us today and hope you enjoy your stay on the Gold Coast. But then he forgets to switch off the intercom, and now the whole p...
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fwdoz
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0
|
499
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|
|
|
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Trip to Rome
(Preview)
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: " Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?" "We're taking Continenta...
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fwdoz
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0
|
437
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|
|
|
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The Baptist Dinner
(Preview)
A group of country friends from the Cottonwood Baptist Church wanted to get together on a regular basis to socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal. When it came time for Al and Janet to be the hosts, Janet wanted to outdo all the others. Janet decided to have mushroom-smot...
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fwdoz
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0
|
477
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|
|
|
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Mathematics
(Preview)
This comes from 2 mathematicians with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience. It has an indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud. This is a strictly .... mathematical viewpoint... and it goes like this: What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about...
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fwdoz
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0
|
547
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Could be caravans as well..
(Preview)
It was a small town and the policeman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking a used car yard, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were they trying to steal it? "Heavens no, we bought it." "Then why don't you...
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aussie_paul
|
0
|
468
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|
|
|
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A Jewish Cab Driver
(Preview)
A Jewish Cab Driver A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumpedinto a taxi in New York City and laid down on the back seat. The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab. The woman glared back at him and said, "What's wrong w...
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aussie_paul
|
0
|
521
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|
|
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When you get a bit older
(Preview)
An elderly gentleman walks into an upscale ****tail lounge. He is in his early-eighties, very well-dressed, hair well-groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel and smelling slightly of an expensive after shave. He presents a very nice image. Seated at the bar is a classy looking lady in her m...
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fwdoz
|
1
|
943
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|
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How much?
(Preview)
A man went into a lawyers office and demanded to see the lawyer. He was escorted inside and told to sit down. The man needed legal help but he knew how expensive lawyers could be, so he asked, Can you tell me how much you charge? Of course, the lawyer replied, I charge $500 to answer three questions. Dont yo...
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Possum3
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1
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1424
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Lucky
(Preview)
A young soldier goes home on leave from a war to see his mother in the country. Shes never left the country and has never seen anything like her sons uniform or gun. He shows his mother both items, then she asks about the grenades on his belt. He says, Well, you pull the pin and throw it. She still doesnt qui...
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Possum3
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0
|
977
|
|
|
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An old but good
(Preview)
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.King David After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.Sasha Guitry By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.If you get a bad o...
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JayDee
|
1
|
953
|
|
|
|
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New bra design...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
|
0
|
926
|
|
|
|
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Bus on Viagra
(Preview)
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Phillipn
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0
|
964
|
|
|
|
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Washing clothes.
(Preview)
A Grey Nomad is swimming in a river. A man walks up and asks him a question. "What are you doing in there?" he queries. "I'm washing my clothes," the camper replies. "Why don't you use a washing machine?" the man asks. "I tried that, but I got too dizzy," he responds.
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Possum3
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0
|
824
|
|
|
|
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Sounds very fair to me....
(Preview)
At breakfast the man asks his wife, "What would you do if I won the Lottery?" She replied " I'd take half and then I'd leave you immediately"... "Great!" he said," I won $12 yesterday....here's 6 Bucks..Stay in touch!"...
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Goldfinger
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1
|
1312
|
|
|
|
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Password...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
|
0
|
822
|
|
|
|
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Further Education -Nothing Like It.....!
(Preview)
Mick: I've been going to Night Classes every night for 5 months now. Paddy: Oh! Mick: For example do you know who Alexander Graham Bell is? Paddy: No. Mick: He's the Inventor of the telephone in 1876;..if you took night classes you'd know this. The next day, Mick: Do you know who Alexander Dumas is? Pa...
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Goldfinger
|
0
|
836
|
|
|
|
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Phone rings
(Preview)
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Aus-Kiwi
|
0
|
918
|
|
|
|
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The difference between dogs and cats
(Preview)
A German Shepherd, a Doberman and a cat all died within minutes of one another. All 3 are now faced with God & he wants to know what they believe in. The German Shepherd says "I believe in discipline, training and loyalty to my master". "Good" says God. "You may sit down on my right side". The Doberman...
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fwdoz
|
1
|
906
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