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APHORISM:"A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE THAT EXPRESSES A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH"
(Preview)
NOT REALLY "JUST JOKING' Most of them are too close to home 1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. 2. Money will buy a fine dog but only kindness will make him wag his tail. 3. If you don't have a sense of humour you probably don't have any sense at all. 4. Seat belts are n...
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67HR
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2
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4369
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The Devil
(Preview)
A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home. When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork. "Who are you?" he asked...
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fwdoz
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1
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979
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Catholic School
(Preview)
A father who is very much concerned about his son's bad grades in math decides to register him at a catholic school. After his first term there, the son brings home his report card: He's getting "A's in math. The father is, of course, pleased, but wants to know "Why are your math grades suddenly so good?"...
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fwdoz
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1
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1388
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God
(Preview)
Why did god create man before he created woman? Because he didn't want any advice on how to do it.
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fwdoz
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0
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793
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Where are you from
(Preview)
A hillbilly went hunting one day in West Virginia and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home where he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didnt like hillbillies.The game warden ordered to the hillbilly to show his hunting license, and the hillbi...
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Woody n Sue
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1
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1101
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SILLY OLD COW
(Preview)
Thought you might enjoy this, which a mate of mine just posted on a local Birmingham Facebook page: A true tale from years ago, told to me by a mate who was there. My friend Mick was standing outside the cinema early one evening, and traffic was pretty heavy in all directions. He noticed a car waiting at t...
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Des and Jane
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1
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1244
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Queensland Logic.
(Preview)
Queensland LOGIC.. >> Two Mundubbera Graziers, James and Doug, are sitting at their favourite bar, >> drinking beer. >> >> James turns to Doug and says, "You know, I'm tired of going >> through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the >>...
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hako
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1
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1269
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Bra size ......T cup
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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898
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Bus Driver
(Preview)
A Priest dies and goes to heaven. As he's approaching the gates, he hears a band of singing and dancing angels approach, and begins to get excited. The lead angel approaches the Priest and asks if he would mind stepping aside for a moment. Surprised, the Priest does as he's asked. The angels march out of...
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fwdoz
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2
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817
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Dinner Party
(Preview)
A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realised that she didn't have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucke...
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fwdoz
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0
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839
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The cynical philospher
(Preview)
I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year; not to cause any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number? Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. N...
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67HR
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2
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903
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Are you smart or brilliant
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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1
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1133
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It’s just a flash in the pan
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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3
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1011
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Under the Bed
(Preview)
Not too long ago, there was a woman who wanted to know how her husband would react if she left without telling him where she had gone. She decided to write him a letter saying she was tired of him and didn't want to live with him anymore. After writing the letter, she put it on the table in the bedroom and then...
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67HR
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0
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1145
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How many ...
(Preview)
Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two very small ones.
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dorian
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2
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928
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Hmmm I wouldn’t know
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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1
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1135
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Kiwi
(Preview)
What's one thing a kiwi won't do for his country
Answer____ live in it
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Phurls
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0
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825
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As BUDDHA was quoted:
(Preview)
As BUDDHA was quoted: "There are three things that cannot be easily hidden,the sun, the moon, the truth."Two Truths and 5 Rules of LifeSIMPLE TRUTH 1:Lovers help each other undress before sex.However, after sex, they always dress on their own.Moral of the story -- In life, no one helps you once you'r...
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aussie_paul
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1
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1024
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Who?
(Preview)
A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a feeling of generosity. He called them int...
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Possum3
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1
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954
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Proposal
(Preview)
Jeff had gone to propose to his girlfriend and returned home crying bitterly. "What happened, son?" his father asked, eagerly awaiting her response. "Did she accept?" "No, she sure didn't," sobbed Jeff. "When I told her what you advised me to say, she slapped my face and told me to get out." "Did you be...
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Possum3
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0
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946
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