I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink, contemplating, when a really big
trouble-making Scumbag steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, what you gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the Scumbag says, "I didn't think you'd CRY you big baby. I cant stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I said. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the car park, I found me car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the Taxi I took home. I found my girl friend in bed with the gardener, and then my dog attacked me." :(
"So I came to this Pub to work up the courage to put an end to it all. I buy a drink, I drop a Rat-Poison capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve.
Then you show up and drink the whole bloody thing on me!
"Anyway, enough about me, how's your day going?"

Auss