CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper, with fire at one end, and a fool at the other!
MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelors degree, and a woman gains her masters.
LECTURE:
An art of transmitting information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students, without passing through the minds of either.
CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one person multiplied by the number of people present.
COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes they got the biggest piece.
TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power, is defeated by feminine water-power!
CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens, and everybody disagrees.
ECSTASY:
A feeling you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
CLASSIC:
A book which people praise, but never read.
SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!
OFFICE:
A place where you can relax after strenuous home life.
EXPERIENCE:
The name people give to their mistakes.
MISER:
A person who lives poor so he can die RICH!
POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections, and your confidence later.
Aussie Paul.