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For those of us who love everything to do with Kiwis... Two Kiwis, Ian and Craig, are walking down a street in Bondi. Ian happens to look in one of the shop windows and sees a sign that catches his eye. The sign said 'Suits $10.00 each, Shirts $4.00 each, Trousers $5.00 a pair.' Ian says to his pa...

I have spent a pleasant couple of weeks in Perth, fixing up some house-keeping issues, re-registering the van, getting it and the Kia serviced, getting my (final?) tax done, getting some new specs and re-stocking the pantry and freezer. I called in to see some of my old work colleagues and copped a pro...

A man was walking home alone late one foggy night,when behind him he hears: BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him. BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... Terrified, the man begins t...

I THINK YOU ARE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS ! A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, 'Do you know me?' To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.' No...

THE AFTERLIFE A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife. After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word he made contact. Mary. Mary. Is that you, Fred? Yes, Ive come b...

A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anaesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses...

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, "OK jerk, I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. What make...

This guy walks into a bar on the top of a very tall building. He sits down, orders a huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out. Five minutes later, the guy walks into the bar again, orders another huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out again. Five minutes later, he re-...

The Horses Tail by Don Lloyd The chase is finally over, and theyre inside drinking grog, and Im tied up to the rail , and left there like a dog. Old Harrison is slapping backs, and handing drinks all round, While the blowflies give me hell and my blood drips on the ground. Yes I wheeled the mob to bring back t...

I spent a leisurely half hour at the "Rock"just North of Karuah nsw watching the traffic both North and Southbound on the Paciffic Hwy.To see the volume of Caravans and other Recreational vehicles on the road was a bit of an eye opener.One of the things that I did notice was the amount of cara...

The article "Gone in 60 seconds" has prompted me to ask if there are security devices available to stop somebody just hitching up your van and stealing it?

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sis...

Got home after lunch yesterday everything good the car and van has handled the return from the perth no worries must admit i thought she was going to let me down on the last haul up Cambie mountain it a tuff haul that one

Hi Cindy, would like to have a couple of stickers as well if possible Thanks.

It was to be "Serialised" and sent bit by bit as the action unfolded alas technical difficulties and Herr Murphy stepped in to ensure I could recieve emails but not send them....... so here is the report and pic's all in one massive go..... Just ingnore the tense, it's all out of wonk.... We...

THIS GIVES US SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT WITH ALL OUR NEW ELECTRONIC TECHNOLOGY. GPS A couple of weeks ago a friend told me that someone she knew had their car broken into while they were at a football game. Their car was parked on the green which was adjacent to the football stadium and specially allotted...

Hi all, I am trying to do some research and access the archives. In particular I was searching for Xina's chocolate cake in a mug. When I click on the 'sarch' button nothing happens. Help!!! what am I doing wrong, please? Patto

Today is an historic date Remember, remember the fifth of November, Gunpowder, treason and plot, I see no reason why gunpowder, treason should ever be forgot. Good old Guy Fawkes. He could have saved us from many elections!!!!!! How many would that be since 1605? We used to remember but not any more. M...

Hi folks .. In the last two weeks, I've been to a few places suggested to me .. a. Nug Nug Reserve .. about 13 k's south of Myrtleford in Victoria. Heaps of room .. $4.00 per night per person and a further $4.00 per night per power ! Just spent a week there .. $56.00 for a week with power .. Water / toilets &am...

Mulga Bill's Bicycle 'Twas Mulga Bill, from Eaglehawk, that caught the cycling craze; He turned away the good old horse that served him many days; He dressed himself in cycling clothes, resplendent to be seen; He hurried off to town and bought a shining new machine; And as he wheeled it through the doo...