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An old Italian man wanted to dig up his tomato garden to plant next years crop , Due to his age & health he was unable to do the work , His only son ,Vinney,was serving time in jail , He writes a letter to his son, Dear son, wish you were here to dig the tomato garden for me , He receives a letter back, Dear far...

I will get a day off Sunday, no not because of the lords day off but because it most probably will hit 40 degs in adelaide, we are of course uninsured if we reap in above 40 degs temp meanwhile here in my glass castle looking at the computer readout it shows 45.5 external temp and we are allowed to reap simply...

This is good news; The last decade of drought has undone the work of the Chaffey Brothers in raising the watertable and causing the salination of ther Murray/Darling Basin. With the water table dropping to levels last seen around 1907 salination is not as big a problem as it was going to be...... BLAH B...

G'day all, Reading "Using UHF While Driving" made me think about that bloke Due Care, he has a mate called Attention and that mate Attention can very easily be distracted by all sorts of things, changing a CD in the radio (Illegal whilst driving), looking at your passenger whilst talking (...

An Irishman is cleaning his rifle and accidentallyshoots his wife. He immediately dials 911 Irishman: ''It's my wife! I've accidentally shot her,I've killed her!'' Operator: ''Please calm down Sir, can you firstmake sure she is actually dead!'' clickclick - *BANG* Irishman: ''Okay, done t...

THIS OUGHT TO MAKE ALL GRANDPAS FEEL WARM & FUZZY A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into her Grandpa's room .... "Grandpa, Grandpa," she says excitedly, "As soon as G...

just wondering if we get a digital set top box, do we have to put up the areal all the time or can it stay down? its gotone of these strange set ups, and its come off the roof a couple times... any ideas? what are set top boxes like for travelling, would i have to re scan all the time? -- Edited by milo on Thursda...

That curse Dengue fever is again rife in Cairns and Townsville.The conditions are ideal for the Mossies to breed with humidity and rain.I have seen the suffering and pain this fever causes when my wife had it not so long ago.Take care if you live or are travelling to N.Queensland.My info comes from an a...

Advice to all men Always wear underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle. From the Daily News comes this story of a Stockton-on-Tees couple who drove their car to Asda, only to have their car break down in the car park. The husband told his wife to carry on with the shopping whi...

My only daughter ( I have 4 sons, 2 step daughters and 2 step sons) is due a little bundle of joy in about 10 weeks time. We didn't know what to get her for her birthday so she mentioned a 3-4D scan she could have of the baby so that was our gift to her. On Saturday at 5pm, her 2 brothers, thier partners, her littl...

I can't vouch for any of these but it sounds interesting...........Someone may know more?? Ducky 5 THINGS YOU PROBABLY NEVER KNEW YOUR MOBILE PHONE COULD DO There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies. Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for surv...

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and...

Ever wondered about Guts or Balls... There is a medical distinction. We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below: GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the boys, being met by...

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually.. Speed up heart not make live longer; that like say you can extend life of car by driving faster. Want live lo...

I'm about three years into my relationship now and have started having erection difficulties. My girlfriend and I have different ideas about what the problem could be. She bought me some Viagra I bought the fat bitch a treadmill.

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio "To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written." My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more: 1. Life is...

Xina you genius.After all the kerplunken ond shizencrapper given to me by very charming but mislead technical trogladites,you came up with the right answer.Restore.It did not work the first time,so I changed the dates until it did.Seriously G/N'S I thank you for the help you have given me plus a few...

"Lest We Forget"...............Thank you.Well Done.

A suicide bomber runs into a pet shop and yells, 'you've all got 30 seconds to get out!' The tortoise at the back of the shop shouts, 'you cu*t !' ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why are women like clouds? Eventually they fu*k off and its a really nice day ---...

thank you all for your help percy-maggie see you soon somewhere