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Be strong!
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An escaped convict, imprisoned for 1st degree murder, had spent 25 years of his life sentence in prison. While on the run, he broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. He tied the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife on the bed. He got on the bed righ...
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anolphart
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Who thinks up these things!!!!!!!!!!!!
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FAMILY TREE OF VINCENT VAN GOGH (always pronounced as Van GO)His dizzy aunt ----------------------------------------------- Verti GoghThe brother who ate prunes------------------------------- Gotta GoghThe brother who worked at a convenience store ------ Stop N GoghThe grandfather fr...
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aussie_paul
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Who wore it best?
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Bobdown
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lol...
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aussie_paul
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40-40-40...
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aussie_paul
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The officer...
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aussie_paul
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The officer...
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aussie_paul
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A new priest...
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A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.After the mass, he asked the Monsignor how he had done. The Monsignor replied, When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.Next Sunday the new p...
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aussie_paul
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Comments
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12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on TV and radio.1.Ted Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'2.New Zealand Rugby Commentator 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'3.Pat Glenn, weightlifti...
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rgren2
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Who said...
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aussie_paul
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Good deed done for the day..
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I was just in Coles at the checkout, and an old bloke in front was getting served.His bill came to $54.60, but when he counted out his change, he had just under $50.He didn't want me to help him, God bless him, but I insisted, and in no time we had all his shopping back on the shelves.
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aussie_paul
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Stolen from another site -
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Johnny's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma.After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant.Frantically, she asks the Doctor about her baby.The doctor replies, " Madam, you had twins....a boy and a girl. The babie...
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aussie_paul
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Don't want any kids
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My wife and I decided last night that we dont want any kids.We will tell them later today!
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anolphart
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A plan..
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aussie_paul
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A plan.. OOPS have already posted it. :(
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-- Edited by aussie_paul on Friday 2nd of June 2023 03:29:29 PM
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Should I Really Join Facebook? (Priceless)
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Read it all the way through! It's a good laugh! AND really quite true!!A good laugh for people in the over 70 group !!!When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music,takes videos, pictures and communicates with Fac...
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In Court.....
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"So let me get this straight" the prosecutor says to the defendant. "You came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man". "That's correct" says the defendant. "Upon which" continues the prosecutor "you take out a pistol and shot your wife, killing her". "That's correct" says t...
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aussie_paul
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Pet Python
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This blonde was selling her pet python on eBay. A bloke rang up and asked if it was big. She said "It's massive". He said "How many feet?" She said "None. It's a snake you idiot!"
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aussie_paul
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Maths
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Mathematics: This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 years experience. It has an indisputable mathematical logic. This is a strictly ..... mathematical viewpoint... and it goes like this: What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those peo...
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Bobdown
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FOR THE RURAL COMMUNITY
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some things you just can't explainThe farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain.""So what happened that is so horrible?" the man asked.The farmer then decides to try an answer, "Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left...
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