Just Joking

clazandaza · clazandaza

The Philosophy of Ambiguity FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH: 1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS. 2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR. 3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION. 4. T...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Two Irishmen making a letter bomb Paddy- Do you think I've put enough explosives in? Mick- Dunno open it and see. Paddy- But it will explode. Mick - Don't be dumb Paddy its not addressed to you.

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

What Do Retired People Do All Day? Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop, writing out a parki...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

While in China , a man is sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time he is there. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never havi...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A farmer named Seamus had a car accident. In court, the lorry company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Seamus. 'Didn't you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor. Seamus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite c...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Paddy and Murphy were talking one afternoon when Paddy tells Murphy, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii .. I went to Hawaii and Moll...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Paddy and Mick were both laid off, so they went to the unemployment office... When asked his occupation, Paddy answered, 'Knicker Stitcher. I sew da elastic onto ladies' knickers and thongs.' The clerk looked up Knicker Stitcher on his computer and, finding it classified as unskilled labour, he ga...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

GOD LOVES DRUNK PEOPLE TOO A man and his wife were awoken at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger,standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!&...

goinsoon · goinsoon

Mary had a little lamb, Her father shot it dead, Now it goes to school with her, Between two bits of bread.

Allara · Allara

Allara · Allara

Allara · Allara

Allara · Allara

Do you know why blonde jokes are so simple? It is so brunetts can understand them...

JRH · JRH

goinsoon · goinsoon

You know you are a loser when a nymphomaniac says to you "Lets just be friends"

jimricho · jimricho

Here's something to think about. I recently went to a new doctor. After 2 visits, & exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. I'm about 60. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him "Do you think I'll live to be 80?" He asked "Do you...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

The science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, 'Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?' No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, 'You should not be asking sixth graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the P...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A little Poem for the Seniors... Another year has passed and we're all a little older. Last summer felt hotter and winter seems much colder. There was a time not long ago when life was quite a blast. Now I fully un...

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

THIS OUGHT TO MAKE GRANDPA FEEL ALL WARM & FUZZY A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into Grandpa's room .. "Grandpa, Grandpa," she says excitedly, "As soon as...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Ambiguity (Preview) The Philosophy of Ambiguity *FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH:* 1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS. 2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR. 3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION. 4. T...	clazandaza	0	878	10:05 AM May 2, 2010 by clazandaza
	check list. (Preview) Two Irishmen making a letter bomb Paddy- Do you think I've put enough explosives in? Mick- Dunno open it and see. Paddy- But it will explode. Mick - Don't be dumb Paddy its not addressed to you.	justcruisin01	0	833	10:12 AM May 1, 2010 by justcruisin01
	BUSY; (Preview) What Do Retired People Do All Day? Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop, writing out a parki...	justcruisin01	0	870	06:37 PM Apr 30, 2010 by justcruisin01
	2nd opinion??????????????????????????? (Preview) While in China , a man is sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time he is there. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never havi...	justcruisin01	0	833	06:31 PM Apr 30, 2010 by justcruisin01
	WISE MAN; (Preview) A farmer named Seamus had a car accident. In court, the lorry company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Seamus. 'Didn't you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor. Seamus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite c...	justcruisin01	2	1001	06:23 PM Apr 30, 2010 by Allara
	MOLLY; (Preview) Paddy and Murphy were talking one afternoon when Paddy tells Murphy, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii .. I went to Hawaii and Moll...	justcruisin01	1	975	08:00 AM Apr 30, 2010 by Pam
	DIESES FITTER; (Preview) Paddy and Mick were both laid off, so they went to the unemployment office... When asked his occupation, Paddy answered, 'Knicker Stitcher. I sew da elastic onto ladies' knickers and thongs.' The clerk looked up Knicker Stitcher on his computer and, finding it classified as unskilled labour, he ga...	justcruisin01	1	820	07:56 AM Apr 30, 2010 by Pam
	DRUNK! (Preview) GOD LOVES DRUNK PEOPLE TOO A man and his wife were awoken at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger,standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!&...	justcruisin01	0	906	08:14 PM Apr 29, 2010 by justcruisin01
	MARY (Preview) Mary had a little lamb, Her father shot it dead, Now it goes to school with her, Between two bits of bread.	goinsoon	8	1341	08:49 AM Apr 28, 2010 by jimricho
	Brazillion Soldiers (Preview)	Allara	0	730	05:29 PM Apr 27, 2010 by Allara
	A senior moment (Preview)	Allara	0	723	05:26 PM Apr 27, 2010 by Allara
	OmYGOD (Preview)	Allara	0	751	05:24 PM Apr 27, 2010 by Allara
	Blondes (Preview) Do you know why blonde jokes are so simple? It is so brunetts can understand them...	Allara	1	826	04:54 PM Apr 25, 2010 by Allara
	No cars (Preview)	JRH	2	993	10:10 PM Apr 20, 2010 by Pam
	LOSER (Preview) You know you are a loser when a nymphomaniac says to you "Lets just be friends"	goinsoon	0	744	07:39 PM Apr 20, 2010 by goinsoon
	Will I live to 80? (Preview) Here's something to think about. I recently went to a new doctor. After 2 visits, & exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. I'm about 60. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him "Do you think I'll live to be 80?" He asked "Do you...	jimricho	1	982	11:53 AM Apr 15, 2010 by Pam
	WAITING; (Preview)	justcruisin01	0	866	01:43 PM Apr 9, 2010 by justcruisin01
	OPEN MIND; (Preview) The science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, 'Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?' No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, 'You should not be asking sixth graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the P...	justcruisin01	0	1016	01:36 PM Apr 9, 2010 by justcruisin01
	SENIORS;; (Preview) *A little Poem for the Seniors...* *Another year has passed* *and we're all a little older. Last summer felt hotter and winter seems much colder. There was a time not long ago when life was quite a blast. Now I fully un...*	justcruisin01	0	940	01:35 PM Apr 9, 2010 by justcruisin01
	Kiss Grandpa (Preview) THIS OUGHT TO MAKE GRANDPA FEEL ALL WARM & FUZZY A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into Grandpa's room .. "Grandpa, Grandpa," she says excitedly, "As soon as...	Cruising Granny	0	991	07:38 PM Apr 5, 2010 by Cruising Granny
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