A mortician was working late one night. 
He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, 
about to be cremated, 
and made a startling discovery. 
Schwartz had the largest private part 
he had ever seen! 
'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician 
commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated 
with such an impressive private part. 
It must be saved for posterity.' 
So, he removed it, 
stuffed it into his briefcase, 
and took it home. 
'I have something to show 
you won't believe,' he said to his wife, 
opening his briefcase. 
'My God!' the wife exclaimed, 
'Schwartz is dead!'