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pick me, pick me !
(Preview)
Little Jimmy was in fourth class at his local primary school. When the teacher asked the class a question, Jimmy always knew the answer, but even though he had his hand up first, the teacher would ask some other boy what the answer was, then give the kid a jellybean. This really upset little Jimmy, so he...
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pipes
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2
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936
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"How To Be Cruel To Old Guys Eye Chart."
(Preview)
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Firefly
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0
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1388
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mexico
(Preview)
Subject: Mexican Jews...Two old Jewish men, Sid and Al, are sitting in a Mexican restaurant in Los Angeles. Sid asks Al, 'Do you know of any people of our faith born and raised in Mexico?' Al replies, 'I don't know, let's ask our waiter.' When the waiter arrives, Al asks, 'Are there any Mexican Jew...
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robell
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1
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807
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Beautiful
(Preview)
This was sent to me as an email and although its not a joke, i will put it in just joking. The pictures may not show, but the story will. Rob.Live with laugher and love with all your heart....... The Rain It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderlygentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches r...
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robell
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1
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1000
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Retired People
(Preview)
Yesterday I was at my local COLES buying a large bag of Purinadog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have...
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Firefly
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3
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1054
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Go the Irish
(Preview)
THE IRISH PRIEST {padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-top:0px;}
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robell
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0
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719
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A Tater Story
(Preview)
Well, a Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other,and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they called 'Yam'. Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they told her about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting half-bake...
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Firefly
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0
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785
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NEW NEW ZEALAND ZONING
(Preview)
New New Zealand zoning. Sorry, I couldn't make it bigger. It was on an email. -- Edited by Beth54 on Monday 9th of May 2011 05:18:39 PM
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Beth54
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0
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827
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New Coffee Special
(Preview)
New coffee special . . . Osama Bin Latte . . . has a fluffy white head with two shots in it . . .
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sucastja
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3
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945
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Forums
(Preview)
How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb? 1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs...
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gubby
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3
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769
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Circle Flies
(Preview)
A North Queensland ruff-nut stockman attends a social function where Prime Minister Julia is speechifying. Clearly the stockman was not paying much attention, yackking with those closest and even quite far away. Julia endeavoured to attract his interest with slower single syllable words. Yo...
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Zoomtopz
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0
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587
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Best 'Genie' joke ever
(Preview)
A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your l...
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Zoomtopz
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1
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825
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Noah's New Ark
(Preview)
One day God calls down to Noah and says, "Noah me old china, I want you to make me a new Ark". Noah replies, "No probs God, me old Supreme Being, Anything you want. After all, you're the guv" . But God interrupts, "Ah, but there's a catch." This time Noah, I want not just a...
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Firefly
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1
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942
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ATO Auditors
(Preview)
At the end of the tax year, the Aust Tax office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the ATO agent was checking the books, he turned to the CEO of the hospital and said. "I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when ...
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Zoomtopz
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0
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747
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WOMEN DRIVERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Preview)
Driving to work this morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Commodore doing 100 km/h with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner! I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on th...
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gubby
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0
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881
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Offical Bingo Form
(Preview)
Here is something to help make Gillard's speeches almost tolerable. Just print this page, distribute it to friends, and listen to her next speech (be sure to read directions at the bottom). Rules for Bull**** Bingo: 1. Before Julia Gillard's next televised speech, print your "Bull**** Bin...
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Wombat 280
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2
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756
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Quotes of the century
(Preview)
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin..'- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)<><> I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed,...
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Wombat 280
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1
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1260
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Irish Mirror
(Preview)
Irish MirrorAfter living in the remote countryside of Ireland all his life, an old Irishman decided it was time to visit Dublin . In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it.Not ever having seen one before, he remarked at the image staring back at him. 'How 'bout that!' he exclaims, 'Here's a...
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Zoomtopz
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0
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675
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Limerick
(Preview)
There once was a man called.. Osama Who caused the U.S such a drama When they spotted his head They shot the pr##k dead Now that's what I call karma
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Loffty
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0
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595
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Men & Women
(Preview)
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus - crap! Men would have been from Venus too but they got lost and were too pig-headed to read the map!
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Beth54
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0
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596
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