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Irish burial at Sea;
(Preview)
Mick and Paddy had promised their Uncle Seamus, who had been a seafaring gent, all his life, to bury him at sea when he died. Well, in due time, Seamus did pass away and the boys kept their promise. They set off with Uncle Seamus all stitched up in a sea burial bag and loaded onto their rowboat. After a wee bi...
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justcruisin01
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0
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1030
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FATAL;
(Preview)
Don't try this at home as it may prove fatal !!!!! Gotta give it to this bloke!!! On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her wedding night and put it on. She went to her husband, a retired military man, and asked, 'Honey, do you remember this?' He looked up from his newspaper and sa...
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justcruisin01
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0
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856
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FEMAIL LOGIC???
(Preview)
Dave sent his wife a message that he'd be home a day earlier than planned. Arriving at the house, he discovered his wife in bed having sex with another man. Bitterly, Dave kicked them out of the house, and started to plan a course of action. His thoughts were interrupted by a call from his soon to be ex-mot...
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Ma
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1
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983
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MEN!!!!
(Preview)
THE ROOM WAS FULL OF PREGNANT WOMEN WITH THEIR PARTNERS AND THEINSTRUCTOR WAS IN FULL SWING. THE INSTRUCTOR WAS TEACHING THE WOMEN HOW TO BREATHE PROPERLY AND TELLING THE MEN HOW TO GIVE THE NECESSARY ASSURANCE TO THEIR PARTNERS AT THIS STAGE OF THE PREGNANCY. SHE SAID "LADIES, REMEMBER THAT E...
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Ma
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0
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675
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Remember When
(Preview)
Remember when ............ WE WAS BRUNG UP PROPER !
"And we never had a whole Mars bar until 1993"!!!
CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1930's 1940's, 50's, 60's and early 70's !
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us a...
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Cruising Granny
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0
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1016
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Retirement
(Preview)
And They Ask---Why do I Like Retirement????
Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch .
Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might ta...
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Cruising Granny
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2
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1477
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COSTUME PARTY;
(Preview)
Costume Party A couple was invited to a swanky costume party. The Mrs. got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoile...
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justcruisin01
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1
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1127
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A bit of a mix-up
(Preview)
A young man called Chris from London wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new girlfriend.They hadn'nt been seeing each other for very long and she lived in Scotland. Chris consulted with his sister and decided, after careful consideration,that a pair of good quality gloves would strike t...
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Zoomtopz
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2
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1420
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got ya;
(Preview)
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down andwaiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden....... 'Hey Pepe, do yousmell what I smell.Ees bacon I is sure of eet.' 'Si, Luis eet smellslike bacon to meee.' So, with reneweds...
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justcruisin01
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0
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1018
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WHAT A GREAT IDEA
(Preview)
In India recently, I saw a sign that said, English speaking taxi driver. I thought, what a great idea, why dont we have them in our country? Maybe this is posted in the wrong spot because sometimes it isn't a joke is it, or then.................
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Ma
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0
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748
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On getting old...
(Preview)
One of the most frustrating thing about getting older is that every time you see an expensive antique, you remember one just like it you once thre away!
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Dunmowin
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2
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1452
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GREAT EXPLANATION!!!!!!!!!
(Preview)
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!' An...
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justcruisin01
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0
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716
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PRICE OF SILIENCE;
(Preview)
Football BootsWoman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. Just after getting into bed the woman's husband also comes home unexpectedly, she tells her lover to hide in the cupboa...
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justcruisin01
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0
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926
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HALF WAY THERE;
(Preview)
An elderly couple was watching a Discovery Channel special about a West African bush tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long. When the black male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and on the end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the penis to 24inches. Later t...
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justcruisin01
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0
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741
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CABBIE AND THE NUN
(Preview)
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsomecab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: 'I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.' She answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a...
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clazandaza
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0
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816
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LETTERS TO LOCAL COUNCILS
(Preview)
Extracts from letters written to local councils:1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.4. Their...
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clazandaza
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1
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935
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IT,S CLEAN;;
(Preview)
What Starts with F and ends with K A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?' Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'msmarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade...
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justcruisin01
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2
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1119
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A I ;
(Preview)
THE BLONDE AND THE COW" A blonde city girl named Amy marries a Colorado rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, 'The A.I. man is coming over to impregnate one of our Cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow's Stall is in the barn. Ple...
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justcruisin01
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2
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865
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No second opion !;;;
(Preview)
A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant "Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients". "Yes, sir!" answers Murphy. The doc...
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justcruisin01
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1
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909
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Just for Dougie;;;;;
(Preview)
The Australian Poetry Competition had come down to two finalists, a > university graduate and an old aboriginal man. > > They were given a word, and then allowed two minutes to think about it > then come up with a short poem that contained that word. > > The word they were given was **'...
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justcruisin01
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1
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882
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