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VANTRILOQUIST & THE BLONDE
(Preview)
THE VENTRILOQUIST & THE BLONDE A young ventriloquist is touring Essex and, one night, he's doing a show in a small town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I'v...
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justcruisin01
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IMPORTANT HEALTH INFORMATION FOR MEN AND WOMEN
(Preview)
IMPORTANT HEALTH INFORMATION FOR MEN AND WOMEN Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Cabernet Sauvignon. Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natur...
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rtv47
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810
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Completely Finished
(Preview)
COMPLETELY FINISHED
No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the
two words 'complete' and 'finished' in a way that's so easy to understand:
Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISHED but,
there is an explanation, as told by a Newfo...
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sucastja
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Dinosaurs.....
(Preview)
If all the dinosaurs had had a wide vocabulary, maybe they would have survived....like the Thesaurus
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rockylizard
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GRANDMA;
(Preview)
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. "Breast-fed." she replied.. &...
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justcruisin01
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930
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VANTRILOQUIST;
(Preview)
An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees a localsitting on his veranda patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi......'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?' Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.' Ventriloquis...
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justcruisin01
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GET YOUR OWN BACK
(Preview)
You know how irritating mobile phone users are when they fail to exercise discretion and think the world needs to know their business? When you have enjoyed as much as you can stand you can now get you own back!!! enjoy!!! After a busy day he settled down in his train from Waterloo for a nap as far as his de...
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justcruisin01
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This made me smile, so I should share it with you....
(Preview)
4 old mischievous Grandmas were sitting at a table in a nursing home. About then an old Grandpa walked in,One of the old Grandma's yelled out saying,'We bet we can tell exactly how old you are The old man said,'There ain't no way you can guess it, you old fools.' One of the old Grandmas said,'Sure we can! J...
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BobnBev
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Retirement home
(Preview)
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn bab...
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PeterS
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885
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Elmo
(Preview)
There is a factory in Essex which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys.The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Loretta is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door.The Foreman th...
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jules47
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866
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If My Body Was a Car…!
(Preview)
If my body was a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull... But that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close. My trac...
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Going gone
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Hairdryer through Customs
(Preview)
Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next!' REDONE THIS LOOK FURTHER DOWN THE POSTS - SORRY -- Edited by jules47 on Wednesday 22nd of February 2012 12:37:17 AM
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jules47
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Vital fluids for life
(Preview)
Know some who would love this -
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jules47
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2
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Mr Bean
(Preview)
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jules47
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Jet Ski
(Preview)
will try again -- Edited by jules47 on Wednesday 15th of February 2012 09:01:53 PM
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jules47
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The Sensitive Man
(Preview)
The Sensitive Man The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy. She said "Ladie...
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Going gone
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PLEASE EXPLAIN;
(Preview)
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justcruisin01
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0
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Timbuktu
(Preview)
An Australian Poetry Competition held in the Sydney Opera House had come down to two finalists; A) The university graduate. B) An old aboriginal man. They were given a word, and then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a short four line poem that contained the w...
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jimbo
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SPARE TIME;
(Preview)
PRICELESS. Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day, Kate and I went into town and visited a store. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, "Come on, Man, how...
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justcruisin01
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1001
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Bronze Rat
(Preview)
A bloke from the bush walked into a Sydney antique shop. After looking around for a while, he noticed a very life-like bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but it was so striking that he decided to buy it anyway. He took it to the owner and said: 'How much is this bronze rat?' The owner replied: 'It's $...
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sucastja
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