Just Joking

jimbo · jimbo

EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 40 This seems a little daunting to start with but if you apply yourself you may find that it's not as difficult as you think. Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-kg potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out...

woody · woody

As you well know, I have been known to have had 'brushes with the authorities' in the past, especially on my way home from the odd boozy session over the years. Last night I was out for a few drinks with a couple of mates and had several bottles of wine followed by some cleansing ale. Realising that I...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

The BarberA guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?'The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, 'About 2 hours.' The guy left. A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?' The bar...

petengail · petengail

No sorry it didnt dammit -please ignore this post.... merry christmas - pete -- Edited by petengail on Tuesday 20th of December 2011 04:26:27 PM

Rip and Rosie · Rip and Rosie

A new sign in the Bank reads: 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After mo...

Tonyg · Tonyg

An Irish man has been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So your man stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stands up but again falls flat on his face. He...

Tonyg · Tonyg

Patrick walks into a bar in Dublin, Orders three pints of Guinness & sits in the corner of the room, Drinking a sip out of each pint in turn. When he had finished all three, He went back to the bar & ordered three more. The barman says, "You know a pint goes flat soon after I pull it ...........

milo · milo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=5qcmCUsw4EQ

jimbo · jimbo

A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a bar in Dublin, Ireland. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a woman a drink?" The bar went silent as the patrons tried t...

Happywanderer · Happywanderer

Australian Cattle Station Pilot G'day Mate, I am writing to you because I need your help to get me bloody pilot's licence back. You keep telling me you got all the right contacts. Well now's your chance to make something happen for me because, mate, I'm bloody desperate. But first, I'd better tell you...

The Gnome · The Gnome

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made s...

Tonyg · Tonyg

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift The next year, I didnt buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, Well, you still havent used the gift I bought you last year! And thats how the fight started... ________________________________ My wife and I were...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A blonde was mowing the lawn in her garden and accidentally cut off the tail of her cat that was hiding in the grass. She rushed her cat, along with the tail, over to Woolworths. Why Woolworths ??? HELLOOOOOOOOO! Woolworths is the largest re-tailer in Australia !!!

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Condom factory burns down in New Zealand : The Prime Minister of New Zulland, is awoken at 4am by the telephone. Its the hilth Munister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergincy!! I've jist received word thet the Durex factory en Aucklind hes burned to the ground. It is isti...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

If I were a Business making good profits, I'd be telling them to buggar off.Julia Gillard called Bob Brown into his office one day and said,'Bob,I have a great idea! We are going to go all out to win the country voters.''Good idea Leader, how will we go about it?' said Julia.'Well,' said julia, 'we'll ge...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

People born before 1946 were called The Silent and powerful generation.. - People born between 1946 and 1964 are called The Baby Boomers. - People born between 1965 and 1979 are called Generation X, . - And people born between 1980 and 2010 are called Generation Y , Why do we call the last gr...

milo · milo

got this on facebook

lilly31 · lilly31

Cowboy7307 · Cowboy7307

DAVID CAMERON was visiting a Scottish primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked Mr.Cameron if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'. So the illustrious leader asked the class for...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

A couple of these have been on b4 , a couple of goodies tho.One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fi...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Exercise (Preview) EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 40 This seems a little daunting to start with but if you apply yourself you may find that it's not as difficult as you think. Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-kg potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out...	jimbo	6	1020	11:54 AM Dec 21, 2011 by jimbo
	Merry Christmas (Preview) As you well know, I have been known to have had 'brushes with the authorities' in the past, especially on my way home from the odd boozy session over the years. Last night I was out for a few drinks with a couple of mates and had several bottles of wine followed by some cleansing ale. Realising that I...	woody	4	921	10:27 PM Dec 20, 2011 by woody
	The Barber; (Preview) The BarberA guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?'The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, 'About 2 hours.' The guy left. A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?' The bar...	justcruisin01	2	989	08:22 PM Dec 20, 2011 by jimbo
	My Christmas greeting to y"all - hope it works... (Preview) No sorry it didnt dammit -please ignore this post.... merry christmas - pete -- Edited by petengail on Tuesday 20th of December 2011 04:26:27 PM	petengail	0	631	04:25 PM Dec 20, 2011 by petengail
	Male v Female rules at the bank (Preview) A new sign in the Bank reads: 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After mo...	Rip and Rosie	5	937	01:47 PM Dec 20, 2011 by Tonyg
	An Irish Pub Joke (Preview) An Irish man has been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So your man stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stands up but again falls flat on his face. He...	Tonyg	0	667	09:51 AM Dec 20, 2011 by Tonyg
	Remember de days (Preview) Patrick walks into a bar in Dublin, Orders three pints of Guinness & sits in the corner of the room, Drinking a sip out of each pint in turn. When he had finished all three, He went back to the bar & ordered three more. The barman says, "You know a pint goes flat soon after I pull it ...........	Tonyg	1	887	08:25 PM Dec 19, 2011 by jimbo
	santa and the new iphone with siri (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=5qcmCUsw4EQ	milo	0	825	03:54 PM Dec 19, 2011 by milo
	The ballarina (Preview) A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a bar in Dublin, Ireland. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a woman a drink?" The bar went silent as the patrons tried t...	jimbo	4	1028	01:37 PM Dec 19, 2011 by Tonyg
	Can I have my Licence back? (Preview) Australian Cattle Station Pilot G'day Mate, I am writing to you because I need your help to get me bloody pilot's licence back. You keep telling me you got all the right contacts. Well now's your chance to make something happen for me because, mate, I'm bloody desperate. But first, I'd better tell you...	Happywanderer	8	1361	11:57 AM Dec 19, 2011 by Rip and Rosie
	Where I've been (Preview) I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made s...	The Gnome	2	916	12:03 PM Dec 18, 2011 by Tonyg
	How to start a fight (Preview) One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift The next year, I didnt buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, Well, you still havent used the gift I bought you last year! And thats how the fight started... ________________________________ My wife and I were...	Tonyg	0	694	09:53 PM Dec 17, 2011 by Tonyg
	BLONDIE! (Preview) A blonde was mowing the lawn in her garden and accidentally cut off the tail of her cat that was hiding in the grass. She rushed her cat, along with the tail, over to Woolworths. Why Woolworths ??? HELLOOOOOOOOO! Woolworths is the largest re-tailer in Australia !!!	justcruisin01	1	968	09:24 PM Dec 17, 2011 by Tonyg
	CONDOMS; (Preview) Condom factory burns down in New Zealand : The Prime Minister of New Zulland, is awoken at 4am by the telephone. Its the hilth Munister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergincy!! I've jist received word thet the Durex factory en Aucklind hes burned to the ground. It is isti...	justcruisin01	6	1180	09:14 PM Dec 17, 2011 by Tonyg
	I know-political jokes get elected (Preview) If I were a Business making good profits, I'd be telling them to buggar off.Julia Gillard called Bob Brown into his office one day and said,'Bob,I have a great idea! We are going to go all out to win the country voters.''Good idea Leader, how will we go about it?' said Julia.'Well,' said julia, 'we'll ge...	Zoomtopz	0	1312	07:11 AM Dec 16, 2011 by Zoomtopz
	GEN Y; (Preview) People born before 1946 were called The Silent and powerful generation.. - People born between 1946 and 1964 are called The Baby Boomers. - People born between 1965 and 1979 are called Generation X, . - And people born between 1980 and 2010 are called Generation Y , Why do we call the last gr...	justcruisin01	6	1185	10:54 AM Dec 15, 2011 by JRH
	have you been good this year? (Preview) got this on facebook	milo	1	605	06:31 PM Dec 14, 2011 by JRH
	Drinks (Preview)	lilly31	1	824	04:24 PM Dec 10, 2011 by justcruisin01
	david cameron visits a highland primary school (Preview) DAVID CAMERON was visiting a Scottish primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked Mr.Cameron if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'. So the illustrious leader asked the class for...	Cowboy7307	2	1957	06:59 AM Dec 10, 2011 by sucastja
	When it Started (Preview) A couple of these have been on b4 , a couple of goodies tho.One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fi...	Zoomtopz	0	917	05:38 AM Dec 10, 2011 by Zoomtopz
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