A doctor wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant

"Murphy, I'm goin' fishin' tomorrow, but I don't want to be closing the clinic. Could ya moind the place whilst I'm gone and take care of all me patients".

"Yes, sir!" answers Murphy.

So the doctor goes fishing and returns the following day. He says: "So, Murphy, how was your day?"

Murphy told him that he took care of three patients. "The first one had a headache, so he did, so I gave him Paracetamol."

"Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?" asks the doctor.

"The second one had indigestion so I gave him Gaviscon, so I did sir" says Murphy.

"Excellent! You're good at this. What about da t'ird one?" asks the doctor.

"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a young gorgeous woman bursts in so she does. Like a bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes, takin' off everyt'ing including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I've not seen any man!"

"Tunderin' lard Jesus Murphy, what did ye do?" asks the doctor.