|
VENTRILOQUIST;
(Preview)
A young ventriloquist is touring Sweden and, one Night, he's doing a show in a small fishing town. With his Dummy on his knee, he starts going Through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth Row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I've heard enough ofyour stupid...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
1056
|
|
|
|
|
Poor Bob
(Preview)
Bob wakes up one morning and goes to the bathroom mirror. Rubbing his eyes he focuses for a better look and spots a lump in the middle of his forehead. "No worries, I'll put a bit of Clearasil on and she'll be gone by next morning" This goes on for a month and by now the lump is sticking out about 2 i...
|
HOOK
|
0
|
992
|
|
|
|
|
Mixed Emotions
(Preview)
A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology and explaining the phenomenon of "mixed emotions". The husband turned to his wife and said, "Honey, that is a bunch of crap. I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time. She said:...
|
sucastja
|
2
|
1147
|
|
|
|
|
Childbirth at 65
(Preview)
With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth... When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit. 'May I see the new baby?' I asked 'Not yet ,' She said 'I'll make coffee and we can chat for a while first.' ...
|
Cowboy7307
|
1
|
1105
|
|
|
|
|
The Ant and the Grasshopper
(Preview)
The ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER This one is a little different .......TwoDifferent Versions ...... There are Different Morals OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laug...
|
sucastja
|
1
|
1109
|
|
|
|
|
"Fluctuations"
(Preview)
I was in th bank today , very short line , I overheard this . Woman saying to teller "yestday I get 2 hunat dolla for yen , tday only 180 dolla , y" The teller replies "fluctuations" To which th woman replies "fluct you white people too" Richo
|
Zoomtopz
|
0
|
759
|
|
|
|
|
old timer story
(Preview)
An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio, Texas leading a tired old mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothe...
|
hammer
|
0
|
895
|
|
|
|
|
Turpentine
(Preview)
A little boy was sitting on the footpath with a bottle of Turpentine. He was shaking it up and watching all the bubbles. A Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had. The little boy said, 'This is the most powerful liquid in the world; it's called Turpentine.' The Priest said, 'No, the most pow...
|
Brenda and Alan
|
0
|
880
|
|
|
|
|
The Arrogance of Authority
(Preview)
A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed out the location. The DEA of...
|
JenandGaz
|
0
|
1047
|
|
|
|
|
Disorder in the American Courts
(Preview)
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your h...
|
JenandGaz
|
0
|
1629
|
|
|
|
|
THE BROTHEL;
(Preview)
The BrothelThe madam opened the brothel door inInverness and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. "May I help you sir?"she asked. The man replied, "I want to see Suzy." "Sir, Suzy is one of our most expensive ladi...
|
justcruisin01
|
1
|
1059
|
|
|
|
|
My Dad is Gay...... very touching story
(Preview)
Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up fireman, policeman, salesman, etc. David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father. "My father's an exotic...
|
hammer
|
3
|
1440
|
|
|
|
|
RETIRED HUSBAND
(Preview)
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the l...
|
Therry
|
2
|
1251
|
|
|
|
|
Little Johhny
(Preview)
The absolute best Little Johnnie Joke Little Johnnie's neighbour had a Baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie'sfamily was invited over to see the Baby. Before they left their house, little Johnnie's dad had a talkwith hi...
|
Beatle
|
0
|
853
|
|
|
|
|
SEX or .. BEX .. or Both ?
(Preview)
Hi Guys .. now ..how many times have you heard .. " not tonight Darling .. I have a headache !" .. and this is from firm believers that they can "Multi-task" ..
|
jonathan
|
3
|
1088
|
|
|
|
|
This has been recently rediscovered by our federal govt!!
(Preview)
The Dead Horse Theory The tribal wisdom of the Plains Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount." However, in government more advanced strategies are often employed, such as: ...
|
hammer
|
0
|
869
|
|
|
|
|
Pulled up by Wildlife Officers.
(Preview)
Some years ago, I was driving West along Princes Hwy through Rosedale. The road is divided there and goes from 60 kph to 80 kph. Where the road leave Rosedale, it changes to two lanes and 100kph. Anyway, as I'm driving through Rosedale, I see a rabbit running along in the grassed area beside me. ...
|
Keith19837
|
1
|
1084
|
|
|
|
|
Will Power
(Preview)
I've just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him 'I wish I had your will power.'
|
jimbo
|
0
|
968
|
|
|
|
|
NEW SEAT BELT LAWS;
(Preview)
|
justcruisin01
|
2
|
1035
|
|
|
|
|
A QUICKEE;
(Preview)
Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy. The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?" Donald frowned and said, "No." Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex. &...
|
justcruisin01
|
2
|
1059
|
|
|
