Just Joking

petengail · petengail

A woman asks her husband at breakfast time, "Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?" He declines. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off m...

jules47 · jules47

There were 101 nuns at the convent, and one morning on of them said "I saw a man cllimb over the fence last night." 99 nuns went "oooh!", and one hid behind her hand and went "he,he". "I saw a man creep across the courtyard last night", the nun said. 99 nuns we...

Beth54 · Beth54

The Arrogance of authority... DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher says, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there," as he points out the location. ...

Happywanderer · Happywanderer

BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started." Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The little...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

THE CHAUFFEUR,Julia Gillard is touring thecountryside in a chauffeur-driven car. Suddenly, a cow walks out ontothe road, they hit it full on and the car comes to a stop. Julia in her usual charmingmanner, says to the chauffeur:"You get out and check - youwere driving."The chauffeur g...

Firefly · Firefly

Little Lorraine went home from school and told her mum that the boys kept asking her to do cartwheels because she's very good at them. Mum said, "You should say "No" -they only want to look at your knickers." Lorraine said, "I know they do. That's why I hide them in my bag&qu...

petengail · petengail

Doctor says to the pregnant prostitute ..."Do you know who the father is?" Prostitute replies...."If you eat a can of beans.... do you know which bean makes you fart?..."

Firefly · Firefly

This is so cool...try it ALZHEIMERS' EYE TEST(I love this part.. it's absolutely amazing!!!) Count every " F " in the following text: FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS... (SEE BELOW) HOW MANY? THERE ARE 6 NO JOKE. READ IT A...

Firefly · Firefly

A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, 'What are all those clocks for?' St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone who has ever been on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move.' ...

Firefly · Firefly

Woman sitting at home on the veranda with her husband and she says; "I love you." He asks; "Is that you or the wine talking?" She replies; "It's me .............. talking to the wine."

Firefly · Firefly

A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, 'What is that you just served?'The w...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

This says it all about getting older & the whole aging thing. An elderly couple is attending church services. About halfway through, she writes a note and hands it to her husband. It says, I just let out a silent fart, what do you think I should do?" He scribbles back, Put a new battery in your he...

Firefly · Firefly

How tough are Australians ? The scene is set - a dark night, cold wind blowing, campfire flickering, stars twinkling in the dark sky. Three hang-glider pilots are sitting by the campfire, one fro...

Firefly · Firefly

A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked 'Do you have any sales experience?' The young man answered 'Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Dubbo.' The manager liked the Aussie so he gave him the job. His first day was challenging and busy, but he got t...

AlbyofCraigmore · AlbyofCraigmore

A blonde rang QANTAS customer support and asked " how long it would take to fly from Melbourne to Perth?" , "Just a minute!" the customer support officer replied, "Thank you". replied the blond and hung up.

Firefly · Firefly

http://www.cincinnati.com/golf/golfquiz/html/brand.htm

Firefly · Firefly

INTERVIEW Jennifer a manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a opening. After sorting through a stack of 20 resumes she found four people who were equally qualified. Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

Welcome to Chinese Wal-MartWe thought our Wal-Marts had it all Crocodiles Bulk Rice Mixed Meat for the choosing(I'm sure they all washed their hands first!!!) Turtles and other stuff You guess!(It looks familiar, but definitely not something that I've eaten,or am going to!) Walmar...

clazandaza · clazandaza

Socrates' thoughts on gossip Keep this in mind the next time you are about to repeat a rumour or spread gossip. In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogen...

DillyDallyingAround · DillyDallyingAround

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Viagra - Appetite suppresant (Preview) A woman asks her husband at breakfast time, "Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?" He declines. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off m...	petengail	1	1323	08:47 AM Apr 9, 2011 by Beth54
	101 Nuns (Preview) There were 101 nuns at the convent, and one morning on of them said "I saw a man cllimb over the fence last night." 99 nuns went "oooh!", and one hid behind her hand and went "he,he". "I saw a man creep across the courtyard last night", the nun said. 99 nuns we...	jules47	0	896	12:52 PM Apr 7, 2011 by jules47
	The arrogance of authority (Preview) The Arrogance of authority... DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher says, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there," as he points out the location. ...	Beth54	1	688	11:15 AM Apr 7, 2011 by Pam
	Jigsaw Puzzle (Preview) BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started." Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The little...	Happywanderer	0	719	09:01 AM Apr 6, 2011 by Happywanderer
	juliars chauffeur (Preview) THE CHAUFFEUR,Julia Gillard is touring thecountryside in a chauffeur-driven car. Suddenly, a cow walks out ontothe road, they hit it full on and the car comes to a stop. Julia in her usual charmingmanner, says to the chauffeur:"You get out and check - youwere driving."The chauffeur g...	Zoomtopz	0	594	05:52 AM Apr 6, 2011 by Zoomtopz
	Little Lorraine (Preview) Little Lorraine went home from school and told her mum that the boys kept asking her to do cartwheels because she's very good at them. Mum said, "You should say "No" -they only want to look at your knickers." Lorraine said, "I know they do. That's why I hide them in my bag&qu...	Firefly	0	531	08:23 AM Apr 5, 2011 by Firefly
	Pregnant Prostitute (Preview) Doctor says to the pregnant prostitute ..."Do you know who the father is?" Prostitute replies...."If you eat a can of beans.... do you know which bean makes you fart?..."	petengail	0	1296	08:12 AM Apr 5, 2011 by petengail
	Are You A Genius? (Preview) This is so cool...try it ALZHEIMERS' EYE TEST(I love this part.. it's absolutely amazing!!!) Count every " F " in the following text: FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS... (SEE BELOW) HOW MANY? THERE ARE 6 NO JOKE. READ IT A...	Firefly	3	886	08:45 PM Apr 4, 2011 by jules47
	Clocks In Heaven (Preview) A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, 'What are all those clocks for?' St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone who has ever been on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move.' ...	Firefly	2	1039	07:44 PM Apr 4, 2011 by Firefly
	Love It (Preview) Woman sitting at home on the veranda with her husband and she says; "I love you." He asks; "Is that you or the wine talking?" She replies; "It's me .............. talking to the wine."	Firefly	0	585	02:54 PM Apr 4, 2011 by Firefly
	Mexican Oysters (Preview) A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, 'What is that you just served?'The w...	Firefly	0	704	02:51 PM Apr 4, 2011 by Firefly
	Church Fart (Preview) This says it all about getting older & the whole aging thing. An elderly couple is attending church services. About halfway through, she writes a note and hands it to her husband. It says, I just let out a silent fart, what do you think I should do?" He scribbles back, Put a new battery in your he...	Gary and Kerry	3	1079	05:43 PM Apr 3, 2011 by Happywanderer
	Aussie Tough (Preview) How tough are Australians ? The scene is set - a dark night, cold wind blowing, campfire flickering, stars twinkling in the dark sky. Three hang-glider pilots are sitting by the campfire, one fro...	Firefly	2	889	10:16 PM Apr 2, 2011 by Firefly
	The Aussie Approach (Preview) A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked 'Do you have any sales experience?' The young man answered 'Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Dubbo.' The manager liked the Aussie so he gave him the job. His first day was challenging and busy, but he got t...	Firefly	0	893	06:22 PM Apr 2, 2011 by Firefly
	A quick answer! (Preview) A blonde rang QANTAS customer support and asked " how long it would take to fly from Melbourne to Perth?" , "Just a minute!" the customer support officer replied, "Thank you". replied the blond and hung up.	AlbyofCraigmore	0	585	06:28 PM Mar 31, 2011 by AlbyofCraigmore
	Anyone For Golf? (Preview) http://www.cincinnati.com/golf/golfquiz/html/brand.htm	Firefly	6	961	08:03 AM Mar 31, 2011 by Firefly
	Interview (Preview) INTERVIEW Jennifer a manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a opening. After sorting through a stack of 20 resumes she found four people who were equally qualified. Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them...	Firefly	0	915	06:48 PM Mar 29, 2011 by Firefly
	Chinese Wal Mart (Preview) *Welcome to Chinese Wal-MartWe thought our Wal-Marts had it all* Crocodiles Bulk Rice Mixed Meat for the choosing(I'm sure they all washed their hands first!!!) Turtles and other stuff You guess!(It looks familiar, but definitely not something that I've eaten,or am going to!) Walmar...**	Gary and Kerry	9	1746	05:49 PM Mar 28, 2011 by baz104
	Socrates (Preview) Socrates' thoughts on gossip Keep this in mind the next time you are about to repeat a rumour or spread gossip. In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogen...	clazandaza	1	1046	09:15 AM Mar 28, 2011 by Beth54
	Jeff (Preview)	DillyDallyingAround	1	653	11:12 PM Mar 27, 2011 by Firefly
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