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A Collection of Smiles
(Preview)
Donation Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?' 'It is!' 'This is the Internal Revenue Service . Can you help us?' 'I can!' Do you know a Ted Houlihan?' 'I do!' 'Is he a member of your congregation?' 'He is!' 'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?' 'He will.' Senility An e...
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Cruising Granny
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824
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Time Machine
(Preview)
Time machine Barak Obama and Julia Gillard are shown a time machine which can see 100 years into the future. They both decide to test it by asking a question each. Barak goes first. What will the USA be like in 100 years time? The machine whirs and beeps and goes into action and gives him a printou...
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jimbo
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643
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Dr Nut Ting Wong
(Preview)
Dr Nut Ting Wong Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise Everything ... wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life ... of car b...
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sucastja
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1964
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The bus and the zipper
(Preview)
In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smil...
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sucastja
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1
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981
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Dog
(Preview)
Gday... My dog chases people on a bicycle. It got so bad I had to take his bicycle away from him. (courtesy of Pam Ayers)
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rockylizard
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1
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968
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Why Sharks Swim In Circles
(Preview)
Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a ship that had sunk. "Follow me son" the father shark said to his son and they swam to the survivors. "First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing.&quo...
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JRH
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909
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Old Rooster vs Stud Rooster
(Preview)
STUD ROOSTER A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, 'OK old fart, time for you to retire.' The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me Can't...
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sucastja
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1123
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"Sayings"
(Preview)
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."**************************In a Podiatrist's office:"Time wounds all heels."****************************************************On a Plumber's truck:"We repair what your husband fixed.&q...
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DKay
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0
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913
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Lexiphile.....
(Preview)
Lexiphile (i.e., "lovers of words" you know . . . . like . . .. you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish . . .. or, I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger . . . .. then it hit me .. . . .etc.). Well, here are some for you to enjoy. To write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless. When fish are in...
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Vic
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1
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1182
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Get Together Man Boob Contest - Entry Photo's here
(Preview)
To the organisers of the Man Boob contest at Greens Lake, I would like to enter my picture for the next contest, hope I qualify. PS: If anyone else has a photo entry for this contest please add to this thread.
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Vic
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10
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1982
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REHAB!
(Preview)
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justcruisin01
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0
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950
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RUBBER GLOVES;
(Preview)
A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady,was nervous, so he decided to tell her a little jokeas he put on his gloves. 'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked. 'No, I don't,' she replied. 'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex, and wo...
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justcruisin01
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787
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potato
(Preview)
Well, a Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other,and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they called 'Yam'. Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they told her about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she w...
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justcruisin01
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3
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950
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PADDY McCOY .
(Preview)
Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and they would send an inspector to interview them. On the appointed day, the inspector turned up. "Tel...
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justcruisin01
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899
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THE SPOON !
(Preview)
The spoon: A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization. Last week, we took some friends to a new Indian restaurant, 'Muthu's Place,' and noticed that the Indian waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought o...
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justcruisin01
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857
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HELGA'S DIARY;
(Preview)
HELGA'S DIARY DEAR DIARY - DAY 1 All packed for the cruise ship -- all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets. Really, really exciting. Our local Red Hat chapter decided on this "all-girls" trip. It will be my first one, - and I can't wait! -----------------------------------------...
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justcruisin01
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824
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Politically Correct Silly Season
(Preview)
Twas the Month before Christmas Twas the month before ChristmasWhen all through our land,Not a Christian was prayingNor taking a stand.See the PC Police had taken awayThe reason for Christmas - no one could say.The children were told by their schools not to singAbout Shepherds and Wise Men and An...
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Cruising Granny
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840
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Judging others
(Preview)
An elephant asked a camel "Why do you have your breasts on your back"? The elephant answered " That is an inappropriate question from someone who has their willie on his face". -- Edited by Fairy-Nuff on Monday 14th of November 2011 07:03:54 PM
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Fairy-Nuff
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829
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ANOTHER JOHNNY JOKE
(Preview)
Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane kissing. Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly. "MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PL...
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goinsoon
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877
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LITTLE JOHNNY;
(Preview)
----- LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.' The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fasc...
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justcruisin01
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