Just Joking

JenandGaz · JenandGaz

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your h...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

The BrothelThe madam opened the brothel door inInverness and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. "May I help you sir?"she asked. The man replied, "I want to see Suzy." "Sir, Suzy is one of our most expensive ladi...

hammer · hammer

Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up fireman, policeman, salesman, etc. David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father. "My father's an exotic...

Therry · Therry

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the l...

Beatle · Beatle

The absolute best Little Johnnie Joke Little Johnnie's neighbour had a Baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie'sfamily was invited over to see the Baby. Before they left their house, little Johnnie's dad had a talkwith hi...

jonathan · jonathan

Hi Guys .. now ..how many times have you heard .. " not tonight Darling .. I have a headache !" .. and this is from firm believers that they can "Multi-task" ..

hammer · hammer

The Dead Horse Theory The tribal wisdom of the Plains Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount." However, in government more advanced strategies are often employed, such as: ...

Keith19837 · Keith19837

Some years ago, I was driving West along Princes Hwy through Rosedale. The road is divided there and goes from 60 kph to 80 kph. Where the road leave Rosedale, it changes to two lanes and 100kph. Anyway, as I'm driving through Rosedale, I see a rabbit running along in the grassed area beside me. ...

jimbo · jimbo

I've just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him 'I wish I had your will power.'

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy. The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?" Donald frowned and said, "No." Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex. &...

extreme potato · extreme potato

A young man was so taken by his girlfriend Wendy that he had her name tattooed where only she would see. When he was ready for action, her whole name was visible - at other times he could only see W.y. As it happened, he went on a holiday to the Carribbean and stood in the toilet beside a young local man. Glanc...

gerard gue · gerard gue

An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather,Who was working in the yard and asked him,"Grampa, what is couple sex?" ??The grandfather was surprised that she would askSuch a question, but decided that if she's old enoughTo know to ask the question, then she's old enoughTo get a straight...

jimbo · jimbo

FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE 1. Money cannot buy happiness, but its more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle. 2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-holes name. 3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again. 4. Many people are...

Hoodathunkit · Hoodathunkit

The older I get, the better I was!!!??? Several days ago as I left a meeting at our church, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized, I must have left them in the ca...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

> A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked > about having a son. > > They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. > > The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. > > The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new so...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

CAKE OR BED A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS, HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW. HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ENERGY AUSTRALIAWRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. FI...

barina · barina

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they didn't like each other. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of you...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

HILLBILLY DIVORCE A hillbilly farmer who wanted to get a divorce paid a visit to a lawyer.The lawyer said, 'How can I help you?'The farmer said, 'I want to get one of them dayvorces'. The lawyer said, 'Do you have any grounds?'The farmer said, 'Yes, I got 40 acres.'The lawyer said, 'No, No, you don't un...

Peterpan · Peterpan

Breasts without nipples would be pointless.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Disorder in the American Courts (Preview) These are from a book called **Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your h...**	JenandGaz	0	1494	03:33 AM Jun 12, 2012 by JenandGaz
	THE BROTHEL; (Preview) The BrothelThe madam opened the brothel door inInverness and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. "May I help you sir?"she asked. The man replied, "I want to see Suzy." "Sir, Suzy is one of our most expensive ladi...	justcruisin01	1	940	04:06 AM Jun 10, 2012 by Travel Bug
	My Dad is Gay...... very touching story (Preview) Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up fireman, policeman, salesman, etc. David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father. "My father's an exotic...	hammer	3	1316	11:56 PM Jun 9, 2012 by rockylizard
	RETIRED HUSBAND (Preview) After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the l...	Therry	2	1133	06:18 PM Jun 9, 2012 by Travel Bug
	Little Johhny (Preview) The absolute best Little Johnnie Joke Little Johnnie's neighbour had a Baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie'sfamily was invited over to see the Baby. Before they left their house, little Johnnie's dad had a talkwith hi...	Beatle	0	750	11:05 PM Jun 8, 2012 by Beatle
	SEX or .. BEX .. or Both ? (Preview) Hi Guys .. now ..how many times have you heard .. " not tonight Darling .. I have a headache !" .. and this is from firm believers that they can "Multi-task" ..	jonathan	3	985	08:51 PM Jun 8, 2012 by Zoomtopz
	This has been recently rediscovered by our federal govt!! (Preview) The Dead Horse Theory The tribal wisdom of the Plains Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount." However, in government more advanced strategies are often employed, such as: ...	hammer	0	766	04:51 AM Jun 7, 2012 by hammer
	Pulled up by Wildlife Officers. (Preview) Some years ago, I was driving West along Princes Hwy through Rosedale. The road is divided there and goes from 60 kph to 80 kph. Where the road leave Rosedale, it changes to two lanes and 100kph. Anyway, as I'm driving through Rosedale, I see a rabbit running along in the grassed area beside me. ...	Keith19837	1	948	08:32 AM Jun 7, 2012 by jimbo
	Will Power (Preview) I've just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him 'I wish I had your will power.'	jimbo	0	858	11:39 PM Jun 6, 2012 by jimbo
	NEW SEAT BELT LAWS; (Preview)	justcruisin01	2	921	04:31 AM Jun 7, 2012 by Keith19837
	A QUICKEE; (Preview) Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy. The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?" Donald frowned and said, "No." Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex. &...	justcruisin01	2	940	04:16 AM Jun 7, 2012 by Travel Bug
	Wendy (Preview) A young man was so taken by his girlfriend Wendy that he had her name tattooed where only she would see. When he was ready for action, her whole name was visible - at other times he could only see W.y. As it happened, he went on a holiday to the Carribbean and stood in the toilet beside a young local man. Glanc...	extreme potato	1	1050	04:14 AM Jun 7, 2012 by Travel Bug
	Grampa... (Preview) An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather,Who was working in the yard and asked him,"Grampa, what is couple sex?" ??The grandfather was surprised that she would askSuch a question, but decided that if she's old enoughTo know to ask the question, then she's old enoughTo get a straight...	gerard gue	1	1108	01:35 PM Jun 6, 2012 by jimbo
	5 Important things in life (Preview) FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE 1. Money cannot buy happiness, but its more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle. 2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-holes name. 3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again. 4. Many people are...	jimbo	0	881	06:16 PM Jun 3, 2012 by jimbo
	The older I get, the better I was!!! (Preview) The older I get, the better I was!!!??? Several days ago as I left a meeting at our church, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized, I must have left them in the ca...	Hoodathunkit	4	1131	06:22 PM Jun 3, 2012 by sandsmere
	NOT THIS TIME; (Preview) > A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked > about having a son. > > They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. > > The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. > > The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new so...	justcruisin01	0	940	03:59 AM Jun 1, 2012 by justcruisin01
	FEMALE LOGIC; (Preview) CAKE OR BED A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS, HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW. HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ENERGY AUSTRALIAWRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. FI...	justcruisin01	0	838	08:57 PM May 31, 2012 by justcruisin01
	Directions (Preview) An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they didn't like each other. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of you...	barina	1	921	03:54 AM Jun 1, 2012 by justcruisin01
	THE FARMER WANTS A ? (Preview) HILLBILLY DIVORCE A hillbilly farmer who wanted to get a divorce paid a visit to a lawyer.The lawyer said, 'How can I help you?'The farmer said, 'I want to get one of them dayvorces'. The lawyer said, 'Do you have any grounds?'The farmer said, 'Yes, I got 40 acres.'The lawyer said, 'No, No, you don't un...	justcruisin01	0	820	04:37 AM May 30, 2012 by justcruisin01
	A Thought (Preview) Breasts without nipples would be pointless.	Peterpan	0	699	07:08 PM May 29, 2012 by Peterpan
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