Just Joking

Hoodathunkit · Hoodathunkit

Should be in the dictionary as stated ..... These fit so well they should be in a dictionary. ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends And is now growing in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOUR: A place where women curl up and dye. CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and when they are d...

sarg · sarg

An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and haircut,But he tells the barber he probably can't get all of his whiskers offbecause his cheeks are wrinkled from age.The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tellshim to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.When he's...

Chazza · Chazza

Poor Charlie. We lost him last week. Charlie had a bad stutter but a shrink explained to him that if he changed his lifestyle and ensured that he maintained a calm demeanour through everything he did, his stuttering would reduce, perhaps even go. Charlie had paid a lot of money to get the advice, so he to...

Chazza · Chazza

Two psychiatrists meet in the street. One says to the other, "You're well, how am I...?"

Magnarc · Magnarc

A devout middle eastern gentleman entered a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because, as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to the music because, in the time of the prophet, there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of...

dazren · dazren

Dear Dorothy Dix My partner has a long record of money problems. She runs up hugecredit-card bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them off,she shouts at me, saying I am stealing her money. She says pay the minimumand let the next lot worry about the rest, but already we can hardly keepup wit...

sarg · sarg

A chemist walks back into his shop after a short break and sees a man leaning against the wall. "What's wrong with him?" he asks his assistant "He came in for cough syrup but I couldn't find any so I gave him an entire bottle of laxatives" replied the assistant. "You f---...

sarg · sarg

Tiger Woods & Stevie Wonder are in a bar... Tiger turns to Stevie and says, "How's the singing career going?" Stevie replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?" Woods replies, "Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that fixed, now.&qu...

JayDee · JayDee

To keep "aging" grey cells active!Something for seniors to do to keep those "aging" grey cells active! 1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May ...What was the third child's name? 2. There is a clerk at the butcher...

sarg · sarg

A mother and father take their 6-year old son to a nude beach. As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women have boobs bigger than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why. She tells her son, 'The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is.' The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to p...

GaryKelly · GaryKelly

Dear God, please send lots of clothes to all those poor ladies on grandad's computer. Amen.

Chazza · Chazza

Race day at Cunnamulla. Crowds of people everywhere you look. A bloke pushes his way through the people around one of the bookies. "M-m-mate," he stutters, "I b-b-backed a f-f-five t-t-to..." "Go on, get out of the way will you?" the bookie responds. "Can't y...

sarg · sarg

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827". Then he realizes t...

copper1 · copper1

*Coffee with the Pope* Nescafe manages to arrange a meeting with the pope at the Vatican.After receiving the papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers, "Your Eminence, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to donate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from '...

GaryKelly · GaryKelly

Have you ever seen a van parked in a camping area that was rocking, and wondered what was going on inside? Here's one version.

jules47 · jules47

If you had sex every night for 365 days, then boiled all the rubbers you used down to make a tyre - what would you have? A bloody Goodyear!!!!!

Duh · Duh

A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on. As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Blonde says to daughter; I taught here every thing I know! & she stills knows nothing. JC.

jimbo · jimbo

FOR ALL THE LOVERS . . .* He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved forwards, then backwards, forward, then backwards again...back and forth...back and forth. ..in and out...in and out She could feel the sweat on her forehead and between her breasts and trickling down the small of...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

THE GAY FLIGHT ATTENDANT: My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be lan...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Definitions (Preview) Should be in the dictionary as stated ..... These fit so well they should be in a dictionary. ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends And is now growing in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOUR: A place where women curl up and dye. CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and when they are d...	Hoodathunkit	1	831	02:33 AM Jun 26, 2013 by Pam
	THE WOODEN BALL. (Preview) An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and haircut,But he tells the barber he probably can't get all of his whiskers offbecause his cheeks are wrinkled from age.The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tellshim to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.When he's...	sarg	1	835	02:25 AM Jun 24, 2013 by GaryKelly
	POOR CHARLIE (Preview) Poor Charlie. We lost him last week. Charlie had a bad stutter but a shrink explained to him that if he changed his lifestyle and ensured that he maintained a calm demeanour through everything he did, his stuttering would reduce, perhaps even go. Charlie had paid a lot of money to get the advice, so he to...	Chazza	0	716	03:40 PM Jun 23, 2013 by Chazza
	TRICK CYCLISTS... (Preview) Two psychiatrists meet in the street. One says to the other, "You're well, how am I...?"	Chazza	0	722	03:23 PM Jun 23, 2013 by Chazza
	The biter bit? (Preview) A devout middle eastern gentleman entered a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because, as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to the music because, in the time of the prophet, there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of...	Magnarc	3	758	08:49 AM Jun 23, 2013 by Magnarc
	dorothy dix (Preview) Dear Dorothy Dix My partner has a long record of money problems. She runs up hugecredit-card bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them off,she shouts at me, saying I am stealing her money. She says pay the minimumand let the next lot worry about the rest, but already we can hardly keepup wit...	dazren	0	777	12:29 AM Jun 23, 2013 by dazren
	DONT COUGH (Preview) A chemist walks back into his shop after a short break and sees a man leaning against the wall. "What's wrong with him?" he asks his assistant "He came in for cough syrup but I couldn't find any so I gave him an entire bottle of laxatives" replied the assistant. "You f---...	sarg	1	824	11:13 PM Jun 22, 2013 by GaryKelly
	GOLF WITH STEVIE WONDER (Preview) Tiger Woods & Stevie Wonder are in a bar... Tiger turns to Stevie and says, "How's the singing career going?" Stevie replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?" Woods replies, "Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that fixed, now.&qu...	sarg	0	773	04:10 AM Jun 22, 2013 by sarg
	Test your IG. (Preview) *To keep "aging" grey cells active!Something for seniors to do to keep those "aging" grey cells active!* 1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May ...What was the third child's name?** 2. There is a clerk at the butcher...	JayDee	0	816	02:22 AM Jun 22, 2013 by JayDee
	SILLY DADDY (Preview) A mother and father take their 6-year old son to a nude beach. As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women have boobs bigger than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why. She tells her son, 'The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is.' The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to p...	sarg	0	841	01:57 AM Jun 22, 2013 by sarg
	A Prayer for Grandpa (Preview) Dear God, please send lots of clothes to all those poor ladies on grandad's computer. Amen.	GaryKelly	2	817	07:22 PM Jun 21, 2013 by GaryKelly
	RACE DAY AT CUNNAMULLA (Preview) Race day at Cunnamulla. Crowds of people everywhere you look. A bloke pushes his way through the people around one of the bookies. "M-m-mate," he stutters, "I b-b-backed a f-f-five t-t-to..." "Go on, get out of the way will you?" the bookie responds. "Can't y...	Chazza	1	913	04:34 PM Jun 21, 2013 by GaryKelly
	MUSIC (Preview) A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827". Then he realizes t...	sarg	1	726	03:58 PM Jun 21, 2013 by Chazza
	Coffee with the Pope (Preview) Coffee with the Pope Nescafe manages to arrange a meeting with the pope at the Vatican.After receiving the papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers, "Your Eminence, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to donate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from '...	copper1	1	980	01:36 PM Jun 21, 2013 by sarg
	Rocking caravan (Preview) Have you ever seen a van parked in a camping area that was rocking, and wondered what was going on inside? Here's one version.	GaryKelly	1	803	12:51 PM Jun 21, 2013 by Zoomtopz
	Rubber Tyres (Preview) If you had sex every night for 365 days, then boiled all the rubbers you used down to make a tyre - what would you have? A bloody Goodyear!!!!!	jules47	1	807	08:42 PM Jun 20, 2013 by dazren
	The Stranger.... (Preview) A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on. As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my...	Duh	1	942	04:11 PM Jun 20, 2013 by Peterpan
	THINK ABOUT THIS; (Preview) Blonde says to daughter; I taught here every thing I know! & she stills knows nothing. JC.	justcruisin01	0	727	03:06 AM Jun 20, 2013 by justcruisin01
	For all the Lovers (Preview) FOR ALL THE LOVERS . . .* He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved forwards, then backwards, forward, then backwards again...back and forth...back and forth. ..in and out...in and out She could feel the sweat on her forehead and between her breasts and trickling down the small of...	jimbo	0	756	10:45 PM Jun 19, 2013 by jimbo
	THE GAY FLIGHT ATTENDANT; (Preview) THE GAY FLIGHT ATTENDANT: My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be lan...	justcruisin01	2	1861	12:34 AM Jun 20, 2013 by GaryKelly
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