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Impossibilities in the world
(Preview)
1) You can't count your hair. 2) You can't wash your eyes with soap. 3) You can't breathe through your nose when your tongue is out. Put your tongue back in your mouth, you silly person. Ten (10) Things I know about you. 1) You are reading this. 2) You are human. 3) You can't say the letter ''P''...
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Dunmowin
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0
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660
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The Lunch Order
(Preview)
* The Lunch Order* A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All thewaitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuouswaitress wearing a very short skirt and legs that won't quitcame to his table and asked if he was ready to order,"What would you like, sir?"He looks at the menu and then s...
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Hurls
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1
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671
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Another Irish One.
(Preview)
Paddy and Mick are two Irishmen working at the local sawmill. One day, Mick slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw. Paddy quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Mick to the local hospital. Next day, Paddy goes to the hospital and asks after Mick. The nurse says, &quo...
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Peterpan
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0
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703
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Grandpa is a Betting Man
(Preview)
The ATO decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the ATO office. The ATO auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you ...
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GaryKelly
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1
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773
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Same sex marriage
(Preview)
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spida
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2
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669
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The Boat people
(Preview)
A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hit the Middle East. Two million Muslims died And over a million were injured. Iraq and Iran are totally ruined and The governments don't know where To start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock. The USA i...
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JayDee
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1
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629
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They Walk Among Us!!
(Preview)
They Walk Among Us! ----------------------------Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge (still working), he put it in his front garden and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking t...
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Hurls
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1
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776
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Psychology
(Preview)
In a class on abnormal psychology, the instructor was about to introduce the subject of manic depression. The instructor asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth, screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"...
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rockylizard
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0
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787
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Tequila
(Preview)
Tequila A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?" "Well.., you pay $10, and i...
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Hurls
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3
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851
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Dog for Sale Ad
(Preview)
Dog For Sale. Free to good home. Excellent guard dog. Owner cannot afford to feed Jethro anymore, as there are no more drug pushers, thieves, paedophiles, murderers, or molesters left in the neighbourhood for him to eat. Most of them knew Jethro only by his Chinese street name, Ho Lee Fuk!!!
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Hurls
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2
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920
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A bit of humour
(Preview)
Paddy decides to take up boxing and goes for the required medical. A few days later the doctor phones and says Paddy, you realise youve got sugar diabetes. Paddy says, Nice one, when do I fight him? ...
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HOOK
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0
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553
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To Be Irish
(Preview)
A Muslim was sitting next to Bill on a plane. Bill ordered a whisky. The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink. He replied in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!" Bill handed his drink back and said "Me too, I didn't know we had a c...
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Hurls
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1
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916
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Now i don't feel quite so stupid! Hope this works!
(Preview)
AND MY FAVOURITE ... As soon as this happens ......... I feel that we should retire with dignity.......
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nomadic1
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5
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1061
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PIRATES
(Preview)
 SO, A PIRATE WALKED INTO A BAR ⦠A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened?  You look terrible." "What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine." "What about the wooden leg? You didn't have th...
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sarg
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0
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697
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Tonsilectomy versus Circumcision
(Preview)
Two little boys are going to the hospital the next day for operation.... Theirs will be first on the schedule. The older boy leans over and asks, "What are you having done?" The second boy says, "I'm getting my t...
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GaryKelly
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1
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602
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PAY BACK!
(Preview)
One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight.Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny, and hair all matted down.. We felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet.We didn't know what to call her so we named her 'Pussycat.'The vet decided to keep he...
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justcruisin01
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2
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831
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who ' da thunk it
(Preview)
Talking to my Greek Goddess Mate in Adelaide at th week end .She told me this bit of Greek history .She actually had to tell me in Greek first , before she could actually translate it . I never knew this. It is an amazing fact A slave girl from Sardinia named Gedophamee was attending a great but as yet unnam...
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Zoomtopz
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2
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924
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LITTLE JOHNNY;
(Preview)
Julia Gillard was visiting a Sydney primary school and the class was in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked Ms Gillard if she would like to lead the discussion on the word 'Tragedy'. So our illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a 'Tragedy' A li...
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justcruisin01
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1
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664
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Little Old Lady
(Preview)
A little old lady went to the grocery store to buy cat food. She picked up three cans and took them to the check out counter.The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management want...
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Hurls
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1
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786
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The Highest Human Position In The World ~
(Preview)
The Highest Human Position In The World ~ Do you know who holds the highest position in the world? President Barack Obama? Nope. Pope Benedict? Nope. The Dalai Lama? Nope. Do you want to see WHO that person is ? Until Now.... Babu Sassi, a fearless young man from southern India , is the cult hero of Dubai'...
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Hoodathunkit
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2
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843
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