|
CATHOLIC HORSES;
(Preview)
CATHOLIC HORSES A punter (gambler) was at the horse races playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt. He noticed a Priest step out onto the track and bless the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race. Next race, as the horses li...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
866
|
|
|
|
|
WOODPECKERS;
(Preview)
*Two Woodpeckers* This Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were inMexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in t...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
768
|
|
|
|
|
NEIGHBOURS DOG;
(Preview)
Paddy and his wife are lying in bed and the neighbours' dog is barking like mad in the garden. Paddy says "To hell with this!" and storms off. He comes back upstairs 5 minutes later and his wife asks "What did you do?" Paddy replies "I've put the dog in our garden. Let's see how...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
715
|
|
|
|
|
PADDY & MURPHY;
(Preview)
Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy "I'm gonna have the day off. I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!" He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts "I'M A LIGHT BULB! I'M A LIGHT BULB!" Murphy watches in amazement! The Foreman shouts "Paddy...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
643
|
|
|
|
|
PADDY;
(Preview)
Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight. The operator asks "How many people are flying with you?" Paddy replies "I don't know! It's your bloody plane!"
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
622
|
|
|
|
|
HOLEY MOLEY
(Preview)
A papa mole, a mama mole, and a baby mole, all live together in a little mole hole. One day, papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and said, ' Yummy! I smell maple syrup!' ...
|
sarg
|
0
|
675
|
|
|
|
|
Psychology 101
(Preview)
If you start with a cage containing five monkeys and inside the cage, hang a banana on a string from the top and then you place a set of stairs under the banana, before long a monkey will go to the stairs and climb toward the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, you spray all the other monkeys with cold wa...
|
Hurls
|
2
|
1609
|
|
|
|
|
'' BARBIE '' ????
(Preview)
this one needs no comment.....Meanwhile In Australia. One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?' The salesperson answers...
|
dazren
|
1
|
926
|
|
|
|
|
BID & BUY;
(Preview)
Warning about Bid-or-Buy Be careful what you buy on Bid-or-Buy. If you buy stuff online, check out the seller carefully. A friend, has just spent $85 plus GST on a penis enlarger. Bastards sent him a magnifying glass. The only instructions said, "Do not use in direct sunlight."
|
justcruisin01
|
1
|
872
|
|
|
|
|
AUSRAIN MAGIC;
(Preview)
AUSTRIAN MAGICAn Austrian and a Bavarian entered a chocolate store. As they were busy looking, the Bavarian stole 3 chocolate bars. As they left the store, the Bavarian said to the Austrian, "Man I'm the best thief, I stole 3 chocolate bars and no one saw me. You can't beat that." The Austr...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
721
|
|
|
|
|
the 18th camel
(Preview)
There was a father who left 17 camels as an asset for his three sons. When the father passed away, his sons opened up the Will. The Will of the father stated that the eldest son should get 1/2 (half) of total camels while the middle son should be given 1/3rd (one-third) and the youngest son should be given 1...
|
gerard gue
|
3
|
1004
|
|
|
|
|
FIRST VISIT;
(Preview)
Baby's First Doctor Visit This made me laugh out loud. I hope it will give you a smile! A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked i...
|
justcruisin01
|
1
|
813
|
|
|
|
|
BEDRIDDEN;
(Preview)
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, 'How long have you been bedridden?' After a look of complete confusion she answered . . .. ' Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'
|
justcruisin01
|
1
|
706
|
|
|
|
|
DIVORICE VS. MURDER;
(Preview)
DIVORCE VS. MURDER* A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, I would like to buy some cyanide. ' The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need cyanide?' The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.' The ph...
|
justcruisin01
|
1
|
779
|
|
|
|
|
ARE YOU CIRCUMCISED?
(Preview)
''Are you circumcised?''] A man walks into the Election office and says to the receptionist: "I would like to put my name forward for the forthcoming elections to be an Independent candidate. The receptionist replies "Certainly sir. Please fill in this form.'' He was filling the fo...
|
justcruisin01
|
2
|
1201
|
|
|
|
|
Sex at 68
(Preview)
SEX AT 68 I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 68. I'm so happy, because I live at number 72. So it's not too far to walk home afterwards. And it's the same side of the street. I don't even have to cross the road!~~~~~ Answering machine message, "I am not available...
|
Hoodathunkit
|
1
|
1284
|
|
|
|
|
Who said that men have no logic
(Preview)
LOGIC 101 . Woman: Do you drink beer? Man: Yes Woman: How many beers a day? Man: Usually about 3 Woman: How much do you pay per beer? Man: $5.00 which includes a tip (This is where it gets scary !) Woman: And how long have you been drinking? Man: About 20 years, I suppose Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you...
|
JayDee
|
0
|
882
|
|
|
|
|
HIT MAN;
(Preview)
Hitman Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up". Sure, they said, youre welcome. So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the compan...
|
justcruisin01
|
4
|
1048
|
|
|
|
|
Mum Knows Best
(Preview)
A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty his roommate was.She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.... Over the course of the evening, while...
|
copper1
|
0
|
897
|
|
|
|
|
The Old Man
(Preview)
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that." The other student say...
|
spida
|
1
|
874
|
|
|
