SEX AT 68 I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 68. I'm so happy, because I live at number 72. So it's not too far to walk home afterwards. And it's the same side of the street. I don't even have to cross the road!
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Answering machine message, "I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."
~~~~~
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
~~~~~
My wife and I had words,but I didn't
get to use mine.
~~~~~
Frustration is trying to find your glasses
without your glasses.
~~~~~
Blessed are those who can give without remembering, and take without forgetting.
~~~~~
The irony of life is that, by the time you're
old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.
~~~~~
God made man before woman so as to
give him time to think of an answer for
her first question.
~~~~~
I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.
The phone rings, and the woman answers. A pervert, with heavy breathing, says, "I bet you have a tight arse with no hair?" Woman replies, "Yes, he's watching TV - who shall I say is calling?"
