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Aids
(Preview)
SENIOR CITEZENS ARE THE NATIONS BIGGEST CARRIERS OF AIDS Hearing Aids ,Band Aids Roll Aids,Walking Aids,Medical Aids, Government Aids and most of all Monetary Aids to there Children !!! THE GOLDEN YEARS HAVE COME AT LAST I cannot see ,I cannot Pee ,I cannot Chew I cannot Screw. My memory shrinks ,my h...
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Olley46
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0
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753
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Parkinsons or Alzheimers !
(Preview)
Parkinsons or Alzheimers An old woman was asked, "At your ripe old age, what would you prefer to get, Parkinsons or Alzheimers?" The wise one answered without delay, "Parkinsons, definitely Parkinsons -- Better to spill half my wine than to forget where I keep the bottle."...
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Big Gorilla
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0
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684
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A Blast From the Past
(Preview)
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Big Gorilla
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5
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864
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4 Worms in Church
(Preview)
4 Worms In ChurchFour worms and a lesson to be learned!!!! A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette...
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Hoodathunkit
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2
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1130
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How It All Began...
(Preview)
In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dorothy. Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost tho...
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Big Gorilla
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761
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Appropriate Divorce Lawyers
(Preview)
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Duh
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2
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759
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Change
(Preview)
There's an old sea story about a ship's Captain Who inspected his sailors, and afterwards told The first mate that his men smelled bad... The Captain suggested perhaps it would Help if the sailors would change underw...
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Hurls
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676
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Toilet Seat
(Preview)
THE TOILET SEAT My wife, Julie, had been after me for several weeks to paint the seat on our toilet. Finally, I got around to doing it while Julie was out. After finishing, I left to take care of another matter before she returned. She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, s...
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Hurls
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1
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782
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The Golden Years
(Preview)
Several days ago as I left a meeting I desperately gave myself a personal search. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the car park. My husband has scolde...
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Duh
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2
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743
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Size apparently matters
(Preview)
A woman had been on the game for 4 years and was worried about the size of her Hmmm on her wedding night so she decided to tell her husband she caught it climbing over a fence. After an hour in bed with her he said "How far across the field were you before you realized it was caught?"
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HOOK
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0
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752
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Misinterpreted
(Preview)
My sexy Chinese neighbour told me she was desperate for a "roger". It was only when I had my trousers round my ankles and my member out, that I realised she wanted to rent her spare room out!!
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HOOK
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0
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594
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Who's a Pretty Boy ?
(Preview)
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HOOK
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0
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606
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The Zipper
(Preview)
The Zipper A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down. A lady cashier walked up to him and said, "Your barracks door is open." Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled. When he was about done shopping, a man came up and said, "Your fly is open.&q...
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Hurls
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2
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717
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Stimulus Package
(Preview)
Now I know this is not relevant to some of you but you will appreciate the sentiment being tax payers... Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment. This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by Using a Q & A format: Q. What is an 'E...
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Hurls
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1
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783
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Bin Day !
(Preview)
A garbage collector in Cairns, Australia, is driving along a > street picking up the wheelie bins and emptying them into > his compactor. > > He goes to one house where the bin hasn't been left out, and in the spirit of kindness, and after having a quick look about for the bin, he gets out of hi...
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Duh
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718
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Dear Mum Letter
(Preview)
Subject: Dear Mum Letter... Brilliant! A mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Mum'. With the worst premonition, she opened the env...
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Hurls
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1
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1346
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Army
(Preview)
Probably need to have seen some time in the Green Machine to fully appreciate the above. So true it hurts!!!
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Hurls
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5
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969
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The blonde and the lord
(Preview)
THE BLONDE AND THE LORD A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd read many books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, &qu...
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spida
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911
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Oh for a magic lamp
(Preview)
ow to live forever.A man is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand.He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. A genie appears and tells him he has been granted one wish. The man thinks for a moment and says, "I want to live forever." "Sorry," said t...
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JayDee
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691
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Excerpts From a Cat's Diary
(Preview)
Excerpts From a Cat's DiaryBy: mysplitpersonalityWritten on February 13th, 2008Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my...
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tcp99
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