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Petition
(Preview)
I just got a phone call from a representative from Google. "We're campaigning to get people to sign an on-line petition supporting our company tax arrangements in light of the government's plans for an investigation." "You can bugger right off," I told him. "It's the la...
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astroid60
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0
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568
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HOW LONG WILL I LIVE?
(Preview)
Will I Live to see 80? Here's something to think about. I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I just turned sixty-something.) A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you th...
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justcruisin01
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1
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649
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REDNECKS;
(Preview)
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justcruisin01
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1
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650
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"Tenjooberrymuds"
(Preview)
Another one Your brain teaser for the day. Be patient, youll get there. By the end of this, you should be multilingual.. Congratulations!!!!!! Travelling in Australia? Maybe you need to understand Tenjooberrymuds! I was recently in Sydney and decided to learn the Chinese language, so I co...
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Hurls
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3
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1233
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Donald and Daisy
(Preview)
Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room when Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy. "Do you have a condom, Donald?" "No, but..." "No buts, Donald, no condom, no sex. M...
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GaryKelly
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0
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629
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Jimmy the Aboriginal
(Preview)
A rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbours. He also invited Jimmy, the only aboriginal in the neighbourhood. He held the partyaround the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Everyone was having a good timedrinking, dancing, eati...
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Recoup
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0
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624
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Price of Fuel in Paris
(Preview)
A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make su...
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Hurls
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0
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823
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Dearly beloved
(Preview)
An elderly lady recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table..Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him........ "You know that dishwasher you promised me?...
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JayDee
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0
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672
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CHEWING GUM ;
(Preview)
CHEWING GUM! An Australian man was having a coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him. The Australian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless started up a conversation. The American snapped his gum and said, 'You Austral...
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justcruisin01
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2
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796
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Carrying a Spare
(Preview)
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GaryKelly
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7
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799
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NAG NAG NAG ;
(Preview)
NAG NAG NAG An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed. As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, 'What time of night to be...
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justcruisin01
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2
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714
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Grandpa's Drink
(Preview)
ONE FOR ALL THE OLD CODGERS!!!! There was a family gathering, with all generations around the table. Mischievous teenagers put a Viagra tablet into Grandpa's drink, and after a while, Grandpa excused himself because he had to go to the bathroom. When he returned, however, his trousers are wet all ov...
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Hurls
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0
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602
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Something for seniors to do to keep those grey cells active
(Preview)
Something for seniors to do to keep those "aging" gray cells active............ 1 . Johnny 's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. ...What was the third child 's name? 2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inche...
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Dunmowin
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0
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940
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IRISH PROSTITUTE;
(Preview)
IRISH PROSTITUTE An Irish daughter had not been home for over three years. Upon her return, her father yelled at her, "Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us? Not even a line. Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?" The girl, crying, repli...
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justcruisin01
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0
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748
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THE BLOND DAIRY FARMER;
(Preview)
Carol, a blonde city girl, marries a dairy farmer.One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, farmer John says to Carol 'The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the rail above the cow's stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he gets her...
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justcruisin01
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0
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579
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ABORIGINAL TRACKER
(Preview)
Aboriginal Tracker An Australian tour guide was showing a group of American tourists the Top End.On their way to Kakadu he was describing the amazing abilities of the Australian Aborigines to track man or beast over land, through the air and under the sea.The Americans were incredulous. L...
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sarg
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1
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734
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Impossibilities in the world
(Preview)
1) You can't count your hair. 2) You can't wash your eyes with soap. 3) You can't breathe through your nose when your tongue is out. Put your tongue back in your mouth, you silly person. Ten (10) Things I know about you. 1) You are reading this. 2) You are human. 3) You can't say the letter ''P''...
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Dunmowin
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0
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613
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The Lunch Order
(Preview)
* The Lunch Order* A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All thewaitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuouswaitress wearing a very short skirt and legs that won't quitcame to his table and asked if he was ready to order,"What would you like, sir?"He looks at the menu and then s...
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Hurls
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1
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618
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Another Irish One.
(Preview)
Paddy and Mick are two Irishmen working at the local sawmill. One day, Mick slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw. Paddy quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Mick to the local hospital. Next day, Paddy goes to the hospital and asks after Mick. The nurse says, &quo...
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Peterpan
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0
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651
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Grandpa is a Betting Man
(Preview)
The ATO decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the ATO office. The ATO auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you ...
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GaryKelly
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1
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715
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