Just Joking

copper1 · copper1

In parochial school students are taught that lying is a sin. However, Instructors also advised that using a bit of imagination was OK to express The Truth differently without lying. Below is a perfect example of those Teachings: Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs. An attractive young woman on a fl...

copper1 · copper1

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt and said "I do. Why?" The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger a...

copper1 · copper1

There was a typical blond. She had long, blonde hair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all the blonde jokes. One day she decided to get makeover. She cut and dyed her hair brunette and went driving down a country road, searching for someone who would appreciate her for her intelligence. When she came acros...

copper1 · copper1

On their honeymoon, the new husband told his bride, "I have a confession to make that I should have made before, but I was concerned that it might affect our relationship. "What is it?" his new bride asked lovingly. "I'm a golf fanatic," he said. "I think about golf co...

copper1 · copper1

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are excited about their decision to get married ... They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a Chemist ...... Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers &quo...

copper1 · copper1

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a bus seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest a...

copper1 · copper1

A blonde goes to a restaurant, buys a coffee and sits down to drink it. She looks on the side of her cup and finds a peel off prize. She pulls off the tab and yells, 'I WON! I WON! I WON a motor home, I WON a motor home!' The waitress runs over and says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize given away was a...

Hurls · Hurls

Here's another trick of Doctor Dementia to test your skills.... I've seen this with the letters out of order, but this is the first time I've seen it with numbers. Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this OUT LOUD, you have a strong mind. And better than that: Alzheimer's is a long, lon...

copper1 · copper1

Angela Merkel the German PM arrives at Passport Control at Paris Charles De Gaulle airport. "Nationality?" asks the immigration officer. "German," she replies. ... "Occupation?" "No; just here for a few days." Hope she had her mobile phone as well...

copper1 · copper1

Little Johnnys Dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner on the first night. Dad asks Little Johnny what he did that afternoon.... Johnny says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps Johnny. Johnny says, "Okay, okay. I was at a f...

jules47 · jules47

A nun gets into a cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. Finally, the cabbie says, "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you." "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything."... "...

sarg · sarg

I hope that you get this one ok Gary Mick and Paddy had promised their Uncle Seamus, who had been a seafaring gent all his life,to bury him at sea when he died. Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the boys kept their promise. They set off with Uncle Seamus all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded on...

Aus-Kiwi · Aus-Kiwi

For those who haven't heard, Washington State just passed two new laws - gay marriage and legalised marijuana. The fact that gay marriage and marijuana were legalised on the same day makes perfect biblical sense because Leviticus 20:13 says "If a man lies with another man they should be stoned...

Aus-Kiwi · Aus-Kiwi

Just imagine... If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Air New Zealand one year ago, you would have $49.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in the AA one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Canterbury Finance one year ago,you would have $0.00 to...

copper1 · copper1

Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery. Mick says "Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!" Paddy says "What's his name?" Mick replies "Miles, from Sydney."

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

A sexually active middle aged woman informed her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because, over the years they have become loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment, she insisted that the surgery be kept secret and, of course, the surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anes...

Hurls · Hurls

T-SHIRT A blonde goes over to her friend's house wearing a T.G.I.F. Tee-shirt. 'Why are you wearing a 'Thank God It's Friday' tee-shirt on Monday?' 'Oh crap!' the blonde says. 'I didn't realize it was a religious T-shirt. I thought it meant 'Tits Go In Front.''

chaslib · chaslib

Apologies if you have seen this one ... A Blonde goes to Heaven. An Aussie Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry, 'St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of godly souls and we have been forced to put up an En...

copper1 · copper1

A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got o...

sarg · sarg

The Australian National University in the ACT did a study on dead crows found along the Monaro Highway and after a 3 year study they determined that the following information collected was the major cause of death......... The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts. However, during t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A Catholic Hairdryer (Preview) In parochial school students are taught that lying is a sin. However, Instructors also advised that using a bit of imagination was OK to express The Truth differently without lying. Below is a perfect example of those Teachings: Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs. An attractive young woman on a fl...	copper1	1	802	11:17 PM Oct 30, 2013 by mongrel
	The Lone Ranger (Preview) The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt and said "I do. Why?" The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger a...	copper1	2	672	06:27 PM Oct 30, 2013 by mongrel
	Blonde Sheep Counter (Preview) There was a typical blond. She had long, blonde hair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all the blonde jokes. One day she decided to get makeover. She cut and dyed her hair brunette and went driving down a country road, searching for someone who would appreciate her for her intelligence. When she came acros...	copper1	1	817	05:48 PM Oct 30, 2013 by Ontos45
	Golf Addict (Preview) On their honeymoon, the new husband told his bride, "I have a confession to make that I should have made before, but I was concerned that it might affect our relationship. "What is it?" his new bride asked lovingly. "I'm a golf fanatic," he said. "I think about golf co...	copper1	0	675	05:10 AM Oct 30, 2013 by copper1
	Lateral Thinking (Preview) Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are excited about their decision to get married ... They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a Chemist ...... Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers &quo...	copper1	0	703	04:50 AM Oct 30, 2013 by copper1
	Arthritis (Preview) A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a bus seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest a...	copper1	0	689	10:30 PM Oct 29, 2013 by copper1
	I Won a Motor Home (Preview) A blonde goes to a restaurant, buys a coffee and sits down to drink it. She looks on the side of her cup and finds a peel off prize. She pulls off the tab and yells, 'I WON! I WON! I WON a motor home, I WON a motor home!' The waitress runs over and says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize given away was a...	copper1	1	845	11:48 PM Oct 29, 2013 by Keith19837
	Jumbled Words (Preview) Here's another trick of Doctor Dementia to test your skills.... I've seen this with the letters out of order, but this is the first time I've seen it with numbers. Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this OUT LOUD, you have a strong mind. And better than that: Alzheimer's is a long, lon...	Hurls	4	1119	08:20 PM Oct 29, 2013 by Mike C
	German PM (Preview) Angela Merkel the German PM arrives at Passport Control at Paris Charles De Gaulle airport. "Nationality?" asks the immigration officer. "German," she replies. ... "Occupation?" "No; just here for a few days." Hope she had her mobile phone as well...	copper1	3	889	05:51 PM Oct 29, 2013 by 2weis
	Little Johnny (Preview) Little Johnnys Dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner on the first night. Dad asks Little Johnny what he did that afternoon.... Johnny says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps Johnny. Johnny says, "Okay, okay. I was at a f...	copper1	2	878	05:06 PM Oct 29, 2013 by Wombat 280
	The Cab Driver (Preview) A nun gets into a cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. Finally, the cabbie says, "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you." "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything."... "...	jules47	1	778	04:37 PM Oct 29, 2013 by GaryKelly
	Irish Burial at Sea‏ (Preview) I hope that you get this one ok Gary Mick and Paddy had promised their Uncle Seamus, who had been a seafaring gent all his life,to bury him at sea when he died. Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the boys kept their promise. They set off with Uncle Seamus all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded on...	sarg	2	813	04:34 PM Oct 29, 2013 by GaryKelly
	Only in U.S.. (Preview) For those who haven't heard, Washington State just passed two new laws - gay marriage and legalised marijuana. The fact that gay marriage and marijuana were legalised on the same day makes perfect biblical sense because Leviticus 20:13 says "If a man lies with another man they should be stoned...	Aus-Kiwi	0	570	06:58 AM Oct 29, 2013 by Aus-Kiwi
	Financial advise the kiwi way (Preview) Just imagine... If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Air New Zealand one year ago, you would have $49.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in the AA one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Canterbury Finance one year ago,you would have $0.00 to...	Aus-Kiwi	0	679	06:53 AM Oct 29, 2013 by Aus-Kiwi
	Mick and Paddy (Preview) Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery. Mick says "Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!" Paddy says "What's his name?" Mick replies "Miles, from Sydney."	copper1	0	582	05:30 AM Oct 29, 2013 by copper1
	Ear, Ear... (Preview) A sexually active middle aged woman informed her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because, over the years they have become loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment, she insisted that the surgery be kept secret and, of course, the surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anes...	Gunsondeck	0	714	06:51 PM Oct 28, 2013 by Gunsondeck
	TGIF (Preview) T-SHIRT A blonde goes over to her friend's house wearing a T.G.I.F. Tee-shirt. 'Why are you wearing a 'Thank God It's Friday' tee-shirt on Monday?' 'Oh crap!' the blonde says. 'I didn't realize it was a religious T-shirt. I thought it meant 'Tits Go In Front.''	Hurls	1	673	01:45 AM Oct 29, 2013 by mongrel
	A blond goes to heaven .... (Preview) Apologies if you have seen this one ... A Blonde goes to Heaven. An Aussie Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry, 'St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of godly souls and we have been forced to put up an En...	chaslib	0	735	06:12 PM Oct 28, 2013 by chaslib
	Rabbit Resuscitation... (Preview) A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got o...	copper1	0	679	06:01 PM Oct 28, 2013 by copper1
	Crows [important study] (Preview) The Australian National University in the ACT did a study on dead crows found along the Monaro Highway and after a 3 year study they determined that the following information collected was the major cause of death......... The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts. However, during t...	sarg	1	796	05:50 PM Oct 28, 2013 by jules47
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