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TThe Scotsman
(Preview)
One afternoon a Scotsman was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied....
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jimbo
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1
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853
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HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED!
(Preview)
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justcruisin01
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0
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610
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General Cosgrove
(Preview)
General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. Read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you have to love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. In a portion of an ABC radio interview between a female...
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jimbo
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3
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952
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SHAMPOO;
(Preview)
CHECK YOUR SHAMPOO BOTTLES Check your shampoo bottle label. I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner. It's the shampoo I use in the shower! When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body and (duh!) printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning: FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY ---...
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justcruisin01
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3
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861
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DIAGNOSIS
(Preview)
Oh, no, the doctor has just diagnosed me with AAADD - I was really worried, till he explained it - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder - now I know why I can't remeber things.
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jules47
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1
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774
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A Giggle
(Preview)
A dentist and a manicurist married. .. . . They fought tooth and nail.
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purpleturtle
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0
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608
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With age comes wisdom
(Preview)
A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple o...
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Loffty
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748
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4 CATS
(Preview)
The Four Cats Four men were bragging about howsmart their cats were. The first man was an Engineer, The second man was an Accountant, The third man was a Chemist, and The fourth man was a GovernmentEmployee. To show off, the Engineer called his cat:"T-square, do your stuff." T-square pran...
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justcruisin01
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0
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879
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THE IRISH'
(Preview)
The Irish An Irishman was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his mobile phone. He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces his wife has just produced a typical Irish baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the man just...
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justcruisin01
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0
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879
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I M D:
(Preview)
Irish Medical Dictionary The Irish have the lowest stress rate because they do not take medical terminology seriously ... Medical Term Irish DefinitionArtery-The study of paintingsBacteria-Back door to cafeteriaBarium-What doctors do when patients dieBenign-What you be, after you be eig...
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justcruisin01
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0
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788
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snow white
(Preview)
WHY WAS SNOW WHITE GIVEN A POISONESS APPLE??? To show us that not everyone is gonna be kind and not everyone is really who they say they are
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animalcarer
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0
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674
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You could have heard a pin drop
(Preview)
JFK'S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60's when DeGaulle decided to pull out of NATO. DeGaulle said he wanted all US military out of France as soon as possible. Rusk responded: "Does that include those who are buried here?" You could have heard a pin drop ~~~~~~~...
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jimbo
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0
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734
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You could have heard a pin drop No2
(Preview)
There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break, one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to he...
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jimbo
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0
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639
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You could have heard a pin drop No1
(Preview)
JFK'S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60's when DeGaulle decided to pull out of NATO. DeGaulle said he wanted all US military out of France as soon as possible. Rusk responded: "Does that include those who are buried here?" You could have heard a pin drop
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jimbo
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0
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666
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Cat A Pill
(Preview)
How To Give A Cat A Pill 1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mou...
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oldrtvute
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1
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862
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GUM;
(Preview)
CHEWING GUM! An Australian man was having a coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him. The Australian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless started up a conversation. The American snapped his gum and said, 'You Austra...
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justcruisin01
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2
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1048
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LARRY;
(Preview)
Larry Is In The Hospital . . . ....... Who in the hell is Larry? Well Larry is the guy who gets home late one night and Linda, his wife, says "Where the hell have you been?" Larry replies "I was out getting a tattoo!" "A tattoo"? She frowned. "What kind of tattoo di...
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justcruisin01
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1
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1510
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The Wanker
(Preview)
The wife and I were sitting around the breakfast table last Sunday morning. I said to her, "If I were to die suddenly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff." "Now why would you want me to do something like that?" she asked. "I figure that you would eventually remarry an...
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jimbo
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1
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1010
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Earl And Bubba
(Preview)
Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, "Think I'm gonna divorce the wife - she ain't spoke to me in over 2 months." Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says, "Better think it over...........
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jimbo
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0
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951
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Prime Minister
(Preview)
Prime Minister, Julia Gillard" Teller: "Yes, I know who you are, but with all the regulations, I insist on seeing ID." Gillard: "Just ask anyone here who I am and they will tell you. They all know who I am." Teller: "I am sorry, but these are the bank rules and...
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jimbo
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0
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774
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