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Guilty as charged ....but there were EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES
(Preview)
W hile conducting some business at the Courthouse, I overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say, "Your Honor, I'm guilty but, there were extenuating circumstances."The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like to hear tho...
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bridget
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1
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821
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THE BULL
(Preview)
I recently spent $14,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but p...
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sarg
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3
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773
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The Tax System Explained in Beer - as it should be!!
(Preview)
THE TAX SYSTEM EXPLAINED IN BEER Suppose that once a week, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to £100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this. The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing. The fifth would pay £1. The sixth would pay £3. The se...
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Hurls
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1
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1440
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Which airline?
(Preview)
A man is alone in an airport lounge. A beautiful woman walks in and sit down at the table next to him.He decides because she's wearing a uniform, she's probably an off-duty flight attendant.So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her grea...
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Joe50
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1
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1234
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Walk with me while I age
(Preview)
"Walk with me while I age" , I hope this poem has the same effect on you as it did on me - then my sharing it will be well worth the effort A beautiful poem about growing older. ...... F*#&K ... I forgot the words.
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Hendo
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2
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1011
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Pearly Gates before Christmas
(Preview)
T'was the night before Christmas, and three men arrived at the 'Pearly Gates'. St Peter said, "Being the time of year, to grant entry, you have to show me something that represents Christmas." The first guy steps up, and pulls a few leaves out of his pocket. St Peter, "What is that?&qu...
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copper1
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0
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710
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Here are a few CIL insurance funnies
(Preview)
http://www.cilinsurance.com.au/about-cil/caravan-rv-news/cil%E2%80%99s-funniest-caravanning-moments
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johnno48
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2
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1021
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The Divorce
(Preview)
He spent the first day following his divorce packing his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things. On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background mus...
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Hurls
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3
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1282
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...
(Preview)
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rockylizard
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0
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725
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Old Age & Yoga
(Preview)
You didn't shave very well and your tie is crooked.
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Hurls
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0
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631
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POEM FOR THE DAY.
(Preview)
Had to share this one::::: Roses are red, nuts are brown Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, When its stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer its in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, Its not what you think.. Its a Liptons Tea Bag! G...
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mongrel
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1
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663
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MARRIAGE GUIDANCE;
(Preview)
Marriage guidance Eileen and her husband Bob went for counseling after 25 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, Eileen went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of in...
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justcruisin01
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1
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871
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Euro English
(Preview)
The European Union Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will bethe official language of the European Union rather than German, which wasthe other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that Englishspelling had some room for improveme...
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brian
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3
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1300
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Christmas
(Preview)
Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? A: Claustrophobic. Q: What goes "oh oh oh"? A: Santa walking backwards...
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copper1
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1
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626
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Don't Speed this Christmas
(Preview)
Don't speed this Christmas
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copper1
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0
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676
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An Observation
(Preview)
Gday... Remember - this is the Just Joking Sub-forum. However, perhaps it should be renamed the Recycle Bin  Cheers - John
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rockylizard
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2
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833
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Sweepstake
(Preview)
I went on a mystery coach tour the other day and we decided to run a sweepstake to guess where we were going. The driver won 50 bucks!
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Hendo
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0
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663
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THE WIFE
(Preview)
A police officerpulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour , sir ." The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating." Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now d...
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sarg
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0
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731
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GETTING OLDER
(Preview)
Life just gets better as you get older!I was in a Gloria Jeans Coffee Shop recently when my stomach started rumbling and I realized that I desperately needed to fart. The place was packed but the music was really loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment I timed my farts to the beat of the music. Af...
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Big Gorilla
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1
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678
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CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY
(Preview)
CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY... Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient. Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly. Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent. Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts. Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion. Man who runs in front of car...
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bridget
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2
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786
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