|
A BLONDE ORDERS A BEER;
(Preview)
A blonde orders a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the blonde woman's boobs and splashes all over them... The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off her boobs. Each time the blonde calls for another beer this happens. So after the third beer, a gu...
|
justcruisin01
|
1
|
741
|
|
|
|
|
WHEN I'M 100, IF I LEAN A LITTLE, LET ME!!
(Preview)
WHEN I'M 100, IF I LEAN A LITTLE, LET ME!! The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she would write notes when she needed to communicate. After a short time out on the lawn, Grandm...
|
Big Gorilla
|
2
|
886
|
|
|
|
|
THE DRUNK.
(Preview)
THE BEST DRUNK STORY OF THE MONTH A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: 'I went by your grandma'...
|
sarg
|
3
|
2214
|
|
|
|
|
Priceless
(Preview)
If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts and thinking things through, you will love this! Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO no...
|
spida
|
0
|
617
|
|
|
|
|
Thoughts for the Day...
(Preview)
Thoughts for the day ; ..As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don't really give a rat's ass anymore. ..If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. .. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat. .. A rabbit ru...
|
Big Gorilla
|
1
|
1883
|
|
|
|
|
DO THE MATHS;
(Preview)
Do the maths...... The owner of a business was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, 'You graduated from University and I need some help. If I were to give you £20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take of...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
643
|
|
|
|
|
Mad Monk
(Preview)
While walking down the street one day a Tony Abbot is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the Golden Gate. "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around thes...
|
Kev-Maz
|
1
|
2168
|
|
|
|
|
A CHURCH HOTLINE;
(Preview)
ITALIAN ALTAR BOY'S CONFESSION 'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.. The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'. "Well, Joey, I'm sure...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
681
|
|
|
|
|
HEALTH TIP;
(Preview)
-- Edited by justcruisin01 on Tuesday 27th of August 2013 07:17:11 PM
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
762
|
|
|
|
|
Last minute election change
(Preview)
BREAKING NEWS!!! Kevin RUDD will NOT be running For election in 2013 due to the Brain tumor found during his recent Colonoscopy.
|
HOOK
|
0
|
590
|
|
|
|
|
Aircraft Hits Four Buildings
(Preview)
...and scares the crap out of everyone.
|
GaryKelly
|
7
|
891
|
|
|
|
|
SENIOR'S BAR...
(Preview)
|
Big Gorilla
|
5
|
803
|
|
|
|
|
make up artist
(Preview)
Yep you just don't know how far things may go.
|
Zoomtopz
|
0
|
622
|
|
|
|
|
The sea was on fire
(Preview)
This is aa very old ditto my mother, an English lady, use to sing. The sea was on Fire, A blind man saw it, A deafman heard it, A Fire engine , with 4 dead horses ran over a dead cat and half killed it, The Sea was on fire......... Bill -- Edited by bill12 on Saturday 24th of August 2013 11:36:58 AM
|
bill12
|
1
|
808
|
|
|
|
|
Age does matter
(Preview)
Husband took the wife to a disco on the weekend. There was a guy on the dance floor living it large - breakdancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works. The wife turned to husband and said: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down." Husband says: "Looks like he's...
|
Magnarc
|
0
|
635
|
|
|
|
|
Interview
(Preview)
I just received notification that the police wanted to interview me - that is strange - I don't remember applying for a job there!!!
|
Nelly
|
3
|
612
|
|
|
|
|
Saying goodnight to Mum
(Preview)
Goodnight to Mum We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our parret, and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to l...
|
Zoomtopz
|
0
|
826
|
|
|
|
|
Quarter back
(Preview)
I do not wish to offend anyone who has hair which may be of a less than dark hue but I just had to share this one with you A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it. "Oh, I really liked it,...
|
barina
|
3
|
699
|
|
|
|
|
The haircut
(Preview)
One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you , I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you...
|
copper1
|
1
|
817
|
|
|
|
|
Wiremu's Woes
(Preview)
Wiremu, a New Zealander, was in Australia to watch the Bledisloe Cup and was not feeling well, so he decided to see a doctor. "Hey doc, I dun't feel so good, ey" said Wiremu. The doctor gave him a thorough examination and informed Wiremu that he had long existing and advanced prostate pro...
|
copper1
|
3
|
633
|
|
|
