|
My Trip to the Grocery Store
(Preview)
There was a bit of confusion at my grocery store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my goods, the cashier said, "Strip down - facing me." Making a mental note to complain to my local MP about Security running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking had final...
|
barina
|
0
|
495
|
|
|
|
|
Tetanus Shot!!
(Preview)
This is for you old folks, anyone over 50 is eligible! An old man in his mid-seventies struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, 'Where are you going?' He replies, 'I'm going to the doctor.' She says, 'Why, are you sick?' ...
|
barina
|
1
|
676
|
|
|
|
|
Argument with the wife.
(Preview)
Myself and the wife had a massive argument last night. At one point she was shouting at me ".......and you think you are so smart don't you? You think you know everything just because you read books and use long words. You have an answer for everyting don't you? You're nothing but a patronising kno...
|
petengail
|
1
|
643
|
|
|
|
|
Controlling Your Temper !!!
(Preview)
|
Big Gorilla
|
1
|
689
|
|
|
|
|
My first time
(Preview)
The sky was dark The moon was high All alone just she and I Her hair was soft Her eyes were blue I knew just what She wanted to do Her skin so soft Her legs so fine I ran my fingers Down her spine I didn't know how But I tried my best I started by placing My hands on her breast I remember my fear My fast beating heart B...
|
Pinto
|
4
|
921
|
|
|
|
|
Collingwood M'Ship
(Preview)
Did not get it all - heres the rest You know you're a Collingwood supporter when: 1. A Halloween pumpkin has more teeth than your wife does. 2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. 3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. ...
|
Terry
|
3
|
810
|
|
|
|
|
Well, I never!!!!
(Preview)
A SMALL GLIMMER OF HOPE IN THE GLOOM ! 'Viagra' is now available in tea bags. It doesn't enhance your sexual performance but it does stop your biscuit going soft.
|
Magnarc
|
3
|
716
|
|
|
|
|
The dog
(Preview)
A man walks into a pub where the only customer was another man sat at the bar with a dog beside him. " Does your dog bite? " asks the man " No" replied the seated man, so he reaches over and gently pats the dog on the head. Immediately the dog lunges forward and savages the mans hand .&qu...
|
Pinto
|
0
|
673
|
|
|
|
|
Horsey joke.
(Preview)
Q:wanna hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in mud. Q:wanna hear a clean joke? a horse took a bath with bubbles. Q:wanna hear another dirty joke? bubbles was the horse next door ...
|
Pinto
|
0
|
556
|
|
|
|
|
Oh my.
(Preview)
What has 104 teeth and holds back a monster ?? My Zipper !!!
|
Pinto
|
1
|
615
|
|
|
|
|
New Pope
(Preview)
Apparently the new pope is having problems setting up his bank details for his wages. There is a problem with his paypal account.
|
petengail
|
4
|
616
|
|
|
|
|
Toilet humour
(Preview)
I was in in the public restroom I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice in the other stall: "Hi, how are you?" Me: (embarrassed) "Doin' fine!" Stall: "So what are you up to?" Me: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here." Stall: "Can I come over?...
|
hokianga
|
2
|
731
|
|
|
|
|
Kingaroy Showgrounds Camping
(Preview)
Has anyone stayed at Kingaroy Showgrounds recently? What is it like? Also any advice on freecamping spots between Toowoomba/Dalby/Kingaroy. Maiden journey
|
Apprentice Nomad
|
6
|
1392
|
|
|
|
|
2013 Collingwood Membership
(Preview)
Does'nt get any better than this - 2013 COLLINGWOOD MEMBERSHIP Q. Two Collingwood supporters jump off a cliff. Who wins?A. Society. Q. What does a Collingwood supporter use as protection during sex?A. Bus shelter. Q. What does a Collingwood supporter use as a contraceptive? A. His personali...
|
Terry
|
1
|
656
|
|
|
|
|
The Cowboy
(Preview)
There were two church-going women gossiping in front of the store when a dusty old cowboy rode up. He tied up in front of the saloon, walked around behind his horse, lifted its tail and kissed the horse full on its rectum. Repulsed, one of the women asked, "That's disgusting, why did you do THAT?&q...
|
hokianga
|
1
|
566
|
|
|
|
|
Horses for courses
(Preview)
Three race horses are taking in a stable. One of them starts to boast, In the last 20 races, Ive won 13 of them! The second says, Well in the last 27 races, Ive won 18!! Thats pretty good says the third one but in the last 36 races, Ive won 27! and he flicks his tail. Looking around, they notice that a greyhound...
|
Pinto
|
0
|
539
|
|
|
|
|
cows
(Preview)
Two cows were talking in the field. One cow says, "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?" The other cow answers, "Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn't it?"
|
hokianga
|
0
|
574
|
|
|
|
|
X Rated Rabbit
(Preview)
|
GaryKelly
|
1
|
721
|
|
|
|
|
None for you..
(Preview)
Little Johnny comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. "Not yet," said Little Johnny. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little pissed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goe...
|
Pinto
|
1
|
739
|
|
|
|
|
Bob a 70 year old extremely wealthy widower
(Preview)
Bob a 70 year old extremely wealthy widower shows up at the country club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyones's socks off with her youthful looks and charm. She hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word. His mates at the cl...
|
Recoup
|
0
|
798
|
|
|
