|
Fill the Jar
(Preview)
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was a...
|
Gunsondeck
|
0
|
727
|
|
|
|
|
Love this woman's medicinal logic......
(Preview)
For better digestion I drink beer,in the case of appetite loss I drink white wine, in the case of low blood pressure I drink red winein the case of high blood pressure I drink scotch, and when I have a cold I drink schnapps. Do you ever drink water? Ive never been that sick!
|
Big Gorilla
|
0
|
913
|
|
|
|
|
Opportunistic Counselling....(Modified)
(Preview)
A woman was standing at the edge of a cliff trying to get the nerve to jump off. A homeless drunk Stopped and mumbled, "If you're about to kill yourself, how about a shag before you go?" The woman was angry and said, "No! Rack off you filthy old basket." The tramp turne...
|
Vic41
|
0
|
783
|
|
|
|
|
Priorities
(Preview)
It's important to have priorities in life.
|
nomadic1
|
4
|
754
|
|
|
|
|
DO YOU KNOW THE FRONT FROM THE BACK OF A TREE?
(Preview)
A REDNECK FROM GEORGIA DECIDES TO TRAVEL ACROSS THE SOUTH TO VIRGINIA TO SEE GOD'S COUNTRY. WHENHE GETS TO FRANKLIN , HE LIKES THE PLACE SO MUCH THAT HE DECIDES TO STAY. BUT FIRST HE MUST FIND A JOB!!!! HE WALKS INTO THE INTERNATIONAL PAPER COMPANY OFFICE AND FILLS OUT AN APPLICATION AS AN II EXPER...
|
Gunsondeck
|
0
|
888
|
|
|
|
|
Warnings
(Preview)
As we are progressing towards the middle of 2014, I want to thank you all for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery. I can no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, nor let the waitress put lemon slices in my ice wate...
|
Peterpan
|
1
|
784
|
|
|
|
|
AUNTY ACID
(Preview)
|
nomadic1
|
3
|
894
|
|
|
|
|
Winnie the Poo had a Senior moment
(Preview)
How do you manage to get fired on the first day in a Winnie the Poo costume? By putting on your costume pants the wrong way around! Click on the photo below so you can see the larger image :) -- Edited by frasercoast hosts on Friday 30th of May 2014 04:42:22 PM -- Edited by fraserco...
|
frasercoast hosts
|
0
|
776
|
|
|
|
|
The Elderly
(Preview)
An elderly gentleman... Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% . The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perf...
|
Hurls
|
2
|
1221
|
|
|
|
|
A Catholic Joke for All Faiths..
(Preview)
An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways. She decided she would take her lunch and sit with them, so she put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to the spot where the men w...
|
Yendorane
|
0
|
840
|
|
|
|
|
AN IRISH MIRACLE;
(Preview)
An Irish Miracle Murphy drops some buttered toast on the kitchen floor and it lands butter-side-up. He looks down in astonishment, for he knows that it's a law of nature of the universe that buttered toast always falls butter-down. So he rushes round to the presbytery to fetch Father Flanag...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
934
|
|
|
|
|
New Lyrics
(Preview)
Some of the artists from the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers. Bobby Darin's.... "SPLISH SPLASH, I WAS HAVING A FLUSH" Hermans Hermits "MRS BROWN YOU'VE GOT A LOVERLY WALKER" Ringo Star "I GET BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM DEPEND...
|
Hendo
|
0
|
972
|
|
|
|
|
Once upon a time
(Preview)
Once upon a time there were two brothers. One brother was very mischievous, always getting into trouble. The other brother, however, was very good. He was always kind to animals, helped elderly neighbors, and led an exemplary life. As time went on, the brothers stayed in touch but were never close. T...
|
Yendorane
|
0
|
697
|
|
|
|
|
bumper sticker
(Preview)
The recent posts of bumper stickers reminded me of one I put on a mates car many years ago You may remember the Road safety campaigns in Victoria years ago along with bumper stickers "IF YOU DRINK AND DRIVE YOUR A BLOODY IDIOT" "DON'T FOOL YOUR SELF SPEED KILLS" well I got some of th...
|
rowdy
|
0
|
749
|
|
|
|
|
Now Wooden this make you look !!
(Preview)
Found his on U Tube, What some people will do to a Caravan........ Make a nice Bon Fire. K.J.
|
kiwijims
|
1
|
962
|
|
|
|
|
How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity.
(Preview)
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars...watch 'em Slow Down! 2. On all your check stubs, write 'For Marijuana'! 3. Skip down the street Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get. 4. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious...
|
Gunsondeck
|
1
|
1032
|
|
|
|
|
math homework
(Preview)
A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, 'Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine....' His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, 'What are you doing?' The little boy answered, 'I'm doing my math homework, Mum.' 'And this is how your t...
|
Yendorane
|
0
|
754
|
|
|
|
|
PADDY & MICK
(Preview)
Paddy says to Mick "I found this pen. Is it yours?" Mick replies "Don't know, give it here." He then tries it and says, "Yes it is" Paddy asks "How do you know?" Mick replies, "That's my handwriting"
|
sarg
|
0
|
801
|
|
|
|
|
six months pregnant
(Preview)
When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, 'Mummy, you are getting fat!' I replied, 'Yes, honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her tummy.' 'I know,' she replied, but what's growing in your bu...
|
Yendorane
|
0
|
863
|
|
|
|
|
Only in the US of A!!
(Preview)
HOW DO COURT RECORDERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES???? These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court,word for word, taken down and published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm whilethe exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: W...
|
Hurls
|
1
|
995
|
|
|
