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Christmas time
(Preview)
It's a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu." Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita. Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged. "But I wanna just hold your hand and watch...
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barina
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1
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602
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A Christmas Story (oldie but goodie)
(Preview)
A little story to start your Christmas season in the right spirit. When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa...
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GaryKelly
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1
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672
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1st Christmas Joke
(Preview)
First Christmas Joke Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. 'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.' The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. H...
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Hurls
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0
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687
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Marriage
(Preview)
Marriage (Part I )Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: 'I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won...
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GaryKelly
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2
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1038
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On his death bed...
(Preview)
Morris Schwartz is on his deathbed, knows the end is near, is with his nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons. "So", he says to them:"Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses." "Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza." "Hymie, I wan...
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Gunsondeck
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0
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668
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A White Christmas
(Preview)
This Christmas, please drink responsibly sit down so you dont spill any!
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Hurls
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0
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540
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PADDY;
(Preview)
Paddy texts his wife... "Mary, Im just having one more pint with the lads. If Im not back in 20 minutes, read this message again."
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justcruisin01
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3
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785
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MATING CALL;
(Preview)
Mating Call Two Red Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Red Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo! He then tore off h...
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justcruisin01
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1
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642
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THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING;
(Preview)
Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: 'Ladiesand Gentlemen, this is your Captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from LondonHeathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So sit back, rela...
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justcruisin01
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1
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736
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TURKEY SANDWICHES;
(Preview)
Don't eat turkey sandwiches, no matter what ! ! A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought turkey sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, unt...
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justcruisin01
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1
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624
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TRUE BLUE AUSSIE'S
(Preview)
The way we do it in Australia!!!!!!!! This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two boxes of VB beer cheap at the local supermarket. I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home. I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the ne...
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justcruisin01
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1
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639
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Old timers bar- all drinks 10 cents.
(Preview)
A Mate sent me this today, had to chuckle. Four old guys are walking down a street in Maroochydore. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, Old Timer's Bar - all drinks 10 cents! They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old barman says in a voice that...
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Santa
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0
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631
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New Boots
(Preview)
A woman goes out shopping with her husband and spots a pair of boots she loves. The husband says, "No chance, love, they're way too expensive" Later on, in bed, the wife is just falling asleep, when the husband tries his luck and places his hand on her hip and then lower on to her thigh. She t...
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reglynn
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0
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728
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Blondes & Frozen Crabs
(Preview)
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans , with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a ve...
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reglynn
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0
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648
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DONT YOU lOVE ME ?
(Preview)
Husband: Oh, come on. Wife: Leave me alone! Husband: It won't take long. Wife: I won't be able to sleep afterwards. Husband: I can't sleep without it. Wife: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night? Husband: Because I'm hot. Wife : You get hot at the darnedest tim...
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sarg
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2
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671
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A Truckies Breakfast
(Preview)
A nasty and mean looking truckiecame into a Truck Stop Cafeand placed his order.He said,'I want three flat tires,a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.'The brand new blonde waitress,not wanting to appear stupid,went to the kitchen and said to the cook, 'This guy out there just ordered...
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reglynn
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1
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605
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Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg!
(Preview)
Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg!Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,** **'Hello?'** **'Hi honey.****This is Daddy.** **Is Mommy near the phone?'** **'No, Daddy.** **She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Gabe.'** **After a brief pause,** **Daddy says,** **'But honey, you haven't got an Un...
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justcruisin01
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1
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690
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5 OLD LADIES;
(Preview)
5 OLDER LADIES Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 KPH. Says he to himself: "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices...
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justcruisin01
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1
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649
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Two Irish Nuns
(Preview)
Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat, and one says to the other, "I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America , we might as well do as the Americans do." As they sit, they hear...
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Hurls
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1
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517
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On a Dark & Stormy Night
(Preview)
Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe.....as it happens, near Transylvania . They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skids out of control! Bob att...
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Hurls
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3
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659
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