Just Joking

Vic41 · Vic41

DIVORCE VS. MURDER A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, I would like to buy some cyanide. ' The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need cyanide?' The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.' The pha...

Vic41 · Vic41

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Two old blokes were on a tractor they drove across the paddock and without looking continued straight out onto the highway. A young man in a Porsche was doing about 200 Kmh down the highway he came around the bend and saw the tractor , swerved left to miss it, crashed through the paddock fence did a Hugh ci...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

It was the final round of the $64,000 quiz and only three constants were left an Englishman, a Texan and an Australian. the question is , finish this song Title and spell the answer " Old McDonald had a ??? the Englishman goes first and says " Estate "" E-S-T-A-T-E" sorry wro...

robmac · robmac

A blonde read in a magazine that 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. ......."There are 5 people in my family," she said to herself. "I wonder which one of them it is.?..it could be my mum or dad.....or maybe my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Chi--Lim....but I'm pretty...

Vic41 · Vic41

The bar patrons were so sure that their bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many p...

Yendorane · Yendorane

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman." "Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?" "When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees...

robmac · robmac

The Doctor used to drop into his "club"most nights to have his favorite ****tail, an almond daquiri....... One night Dick the bartender found he was out of almonds, so he added some crushed hickory nuts instead The doctor took one sip and beckoned to the barman. "Is this an almon...

Yendorane · Yendorane

A man is sun baking in the nude and ends up burning his willy. His doctor tells him to ease the pain by dipping it in a cup of cold milk. Later, his blonde girlfriend comes home and finds him with his willy in a cup of cold milk. 'Good heavens', she remarks, 'I always wondered how you guys re-loaded those thin...

Vic41 · Vic41

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.' The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. 'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry.. The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box. Paddy...

Vic41 · Vic41

http://www.mprnews.org/story/2010/04/06/wits-Sweeney

Yendorane · Yendorane

Telephone rings, woman answers. Pervert, breathing heavily, says, "I bet you have a tight ar#e with no hair?" Woman replies, "Yes, I have. He's watching the rugby.... Who shall I say is calling?"

Yendorane · Yendorane

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and asks the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said, "I do, Father." The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall." Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?&q...

Peterpan · Peterpan

There was a competition to swim the English C hannel doing only the breast stroke. The three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. After around 14 hours the brunette staggered ashore and was declared the winner. About 40 minutes later the redhead crawled up onto the shore...

kiwijims · kiwijims

Hi,it has come to my attention that the Ford company has produce a new car utilizing the well usedterm of eight, it is as follows.Ford promoted and developed the V8Ford of England produced the small Ford 8Several manufacturers produced straight 8s. Ford built a special but did not produce it.Ford ha...

Lesley F · Lesley F

The Squirrel and The Grasshopper REST OF THE WORLD VERSION The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter.The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.Come winter, the s...

Loffty · Loffty

Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me again asking why I didn't do something useful with my time. Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing, I said. ... Talking about my "doing something useful" seems to be her favourite topic of conversation. She was "only think...

Vic41 · Vic41

A few minutes before the church service started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate....

Vic41 · Vic41

In a convent in Ireland , the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it. One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey t...

Vic41 · Vic41

Dear Simon, I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't bel...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Divorce vs Murder (oldie but a goodie) (Preview) DIVORCE VS. MURDER A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, I would like to buy some cyanide. ' The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need cyanide?' The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.' The pha...	Vic41	0	805	04:33 PM Aug 7, 2014 by Vic41
	Rolf...... (Preview)	Vic41	3	850	07:14 AM Aug 6, 2014 by Glenelg
	Lucky to miss the accident (Preview) Two old blokes were on a tractor they drove across the paddock and without looking continued straight out onto the highway. A young man in a Porsche was doing about 200 Kmh down the highway he came around the bend and saw the tractor , swerved left to miss it, crashed through the paddock fence did a Hugh ci...	Woody n Sue	0	783	10:14 PM Aug 5, 2014 by Woody n Sue
	$64,000 question (Preview) It was the final round of the $64,000 quiz and only three constants were left an Englishman, a Texan and an Australian. the question is , finish this song Title and spell the answer " Old McDonald had a ??? the Englishman goes first and says " Estate "" E-S-T-A-T-E" sorry wro...	Woody n Sue	1	743	11:10 AM Aug 5, 2014 by Bryan
	Blondes (Preview) A blonde read in a magazine that 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. ......."There are 5 people in my family," she said to herself. "I wonder which one of them it is.?..it could be my mum or dad.....or maybe my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Chi--Lim....but I'm pretty...	robmac	0	914	10:59 PM Aug 4, 2014 by robmac
	The Squeezer (Preview) The bar patrons were so sure that their bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many p...	Vic41	2	860	10:20 PM Aug 4, 2014 by Vic41
	Walking into the bar (Preview) Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman." "Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?" "When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees...	Yendorane	3	843	11:14 AM Aug 4, 2014 by JRH
	Misunderstandings (Preview) The Doctor used to drop into his "club"most nights to have his favorite ****tail, an almond daquiri....... One night Dick the bartender found he was out of almonds, so he added some crushed hickory nuts instead The doctor took one sip and beckoned to the barman. "Is this an almon...	robmac	1	777	08:47 AM Aug 4, 2014 by Bryan
	sunbather (Preview) A man is sun baking in the nude and ends up burning his willy. His doctor tells him to ease the pain by dipping it in a cup of cold milk. Later, his blonde girlfriend comes home and finds him with his willy in a cup of cold milk. 'Good heavens', she remarks, 'I always wondered how you guys re-loaded those thin...	Yendorane	0	764	08:31 AM Aug 4, 2014 by Yendorane
	Feck Dat ! (Preview) Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.' The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. 'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry.. The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box. Paddy...	Vic41	0	911	02:29 PM Aug 2, 2014 by Vic41
	Explaining Sex To An 8 Year Old....(Video - Sound On). (Preview) http://www.mprnews.org/story/2010/04/06/wits-Sweeney	Vic41	4	1116	11:55 AM Aug 1, 2014 by Glenelg
	Pervert Call (Preview) Telephone rings, woman answers. Pervert, breathing heavily, says, "I bet you have a tight ar#e with no hair?" Woman replies, "Yes, I have. He's watching the rugby.... Who shall I say is calling?"	Yendorane	1	919	11:40 AM Aug 1, 2014 by Glenelg
	Father Murphy (Preview) Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and asks the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said, "I do, Father." The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall." Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?&q...	Yendorane	1	965	04:42 AM Jul 31, 2014 by Bryan
	Swimming (Preview) There was a competition to swim the English C hannel doing only the breast stroke. The three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. After around 14 hours the brunette staggered ashore and was declared the winner. About 40 minutes later the redhead crawled up onto the shore...	Peterpan	0	792	05:25 PM Jul 30, 2014 by Peterpan
	FORD have produced a NEW "8" (Preview) Hi,it has come to my attention that the Ford company has produce a new car utilizing the well usedterm of eight, it is as follows.Ford promoted and developed the V8Ford of England produced the small Ford 8Several manufacturers produced straight 8s. Ford built a special but did not produce it.Ford ha...	kiwijims	0	662	01:52 PM Jul 30, 2014 by kiwijims
	the squirrel and the grasshopper (Preview) *The Squirrel and The Grasshopper* REST OF THE WORLD VERSION The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter.The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.Come winter, the s...	Lesley F	3	1093	09:33 PM Jul 29, 2014 by D and D
	Pay back :) (Preview) Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me again asking why I didn't do something useful with my time. Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing, I said. ... Talking about my "doing something useful" seems to be her favourite topic of conversation. She was "only think...	Loffty	1	774	06:10 AM Jul 29, 2014 by Glenelg
	Satan.... (Preview) A few minutes before the church service started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate....	Vic41	1	859	09:39 PM Jul 27, 2014 by Bryan
	Holy Reviver.... (Preview) In a convent in Ireland , the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it. One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey t...	Vic41	0	777	03:46 PM Jul 27, 2014 by Vic41
	Why You Don't See Males Running Relationship Advice Columns.... (Preview) Dear Simon, I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't bel...	Vic41	0	775	03:43 PM Jul 27, 2014 by Vic41
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