Just Joking

Bicyclecamper · Bicyclecamper

anolphart · anolphart

How does a woman scare a gynaecologist? By becoming a ventriloquist. -- Edited by anolphart on Friday 22nd of December 2023 03:40:01 PM

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

The keys."Several days ago as I left the Bunnings in Rocky, to walk out to my ute and was reaching into my pocket from my car keys... got that sick feeling when I didn't find them there. I desperately gave myself a personal pat down, other pockets, shirt pocket, not there. Turned around real fast and trot...

Craig1 · Craig1

I asked permission to post this and was never denied.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A platoon of soldiers was patrolling north of Fallujah when they came upon an Isis terrorist, badly injured and unconscious.On the opposite side of the road was an Australian soldier in a similar, but less serious, state.The soldier was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the P...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

"George and the Dragon." a vagabond, tired and hungry, was trudging along a country road in England when he came upon a roadside inn called "George and the Dragon."He knocked on the door.The innkeeper's wife stuck her head out of a window."Could ye spare some food please?" he asked.The woman looked a...

anolphart · anolphart

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!" "But why, Mom? I don't want to go." "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go." "Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!" "Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get r...

Gundog · Gundog

A bartender is waiting for closing time at his pub so he can lock up, and go home. Its a slow night and he has no customers.He hears a light knock at the back door, opens it, and there are 2 nuns there. One says, Mr Bartender, can we impose upon you for a wee favor? Certainly, Sister, what is it?Well, its not f...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius..,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)Question: If you could live fore...

Bobdown · Bobdown

Comedy - Misunderstanding an Asian Australian talking to his Mum.

Whenarewethere · Whenarewethere

Why is the Holly Leaf used for Christmas. It has sharp edges so was not used to wipe your bum.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

An old guy was working out at the gym when he spotted a young hot girl walking in.He asked the trainer standing next to him, "What machine should I use to impress that girl over there?"The trainer looked him up and down and said;"I would recommend the ATM in the lobby."

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Teacher: If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have? Johnny: Seven. Teacher: No, listen carefully If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have? Johnny: Seven. Teacher: Let me put it to you differently If I gave you two apples, and an...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A woman runs a red traffic light and crashes into a mans car. Both of their cars are demolished but, amazingly, neither of them is hurt.After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says; Wow, just look at our cars! Theres nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we sho...

Magnarc · Magnarc

There was a young man from Westphalia, Who painted his ass like a dahlia, The colour was fine, Likewise the design, The aroma- ah, that was a failia.

Gundog · Gundog

Magnarc · Magnarc

There once was a fellow from Lorne, Who wished that he'd never been born, He wouldn't have been if his pappy had seen, That the end of his franger was torn.

Magnarc · Magnarc

In the Garden of Eden lay Adam, Complacently stroking his madam, Loud was his mirth, For he knew that on earth, There were only two balls- and he had 'em.

Magnarc · Magnarc

There was a young sailor called Bates, Who danced the fandango on skates, But a fall on his cutlass, Rendered him nutless, And practically useless on dates/

Bobdown · Bobdown

Low Battery: A man saved his girlfriend's phone number on his mobile as 'Low Battery'. Whenever she calls him, in his absence, his wife takes the phone and plugs it into the charger. Give that man a medal Government Survey: A government survey has shown that 91 percent of illegal immigrants come...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Pet (Preview)	Bicyclecamper	0	549	03:26 PM Dec 23, 2023 by Bicyclecamper
	How to scare a gynaecologist! (Preview) How does a woman scare a gynaecologist? By becoming a ventriloquist. -- Edited by anolphart on Friday 22nd of December 2023 03:40:01 PM	anolphart	0	622	03:39 PM Dec 22, 2023 by anolphart
	The keys.. (Preview) The keys."Several days ago as I left the Bunnings in Rocky, to walk out to my ute and was reaching into my pocket from my car keys... got that sick feeling when I didn't find them there. I desperately gave myself a personal pat down, other pockets, shirt pocket, not there. Turned around real fast and trot...	aussie_paul	0	552	03:33 PM Dec 22, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Weather (Preview) I asked permission to post this and was never denied.	Craig1	0	592	02:43 PM Dec 22, 2023 by Craig1
	A platoon of soldiers.. (Preview) A platoon of soldiers was patrolling north of Fallujah when they came upon an Isis terrorist, badly injured and unconscious.On the opposite side of the road was an Australian soldier in a similar, but less serious, state.The soldier was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the P...	aussie_paul	1	926	10:23 AM Dec 21, 2023 by peter67
	"George and the Dragon." (Preview) "George and the Dragon." a vagabond, tired and hungry, was trudging along a country road in England when he came upon a roadside inn called "George and the Dragon."He knocked on the door.The innkeeper's wife stuck her head out of a window."Could ye spare some food please?" he asked.The woman looked a...	aussie_paul	0	605	08:04 PM Dec 20, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Don't want to go to school (Preview) Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!" "But why, Mom? I don't want to go." "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go." "Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!" "Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get r...	anolphart	0	472	04:49 PM Dec 20, 2023 by anolphart
	Constipation. (Preview) A bartender is waiting for closing time at his pub so he can lock up, and go home. Its a slow night and he has no customers.He hears a light knock at the back door, opens it, and there are 2 nuns there. One says, Mr Bartender, can we impose upon you for a wee favor? Certainly, Sister, what is it?Well, its not f...	Gundog	2	767	11:54 AM Dec 20, 2023 by Craig1
	If you ever feel a little bit stupid.. (Preview) If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius..,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)Question: If you could live fore...	aussie_paul	2	610	10:50 AM Dec 20, 2023 by yobarr
	Wrong subject (Preview) Comedy - Misunderstanding an Asian Australian talking to his Mum.	Bobdown	1	643	09:52 AM Dec 20, 2023 by peter67
	Holly Leaf for Christmas protocol (Preview) Why is the Holly Leaf used for Christmas. It has sharp edges so was not used to wipe your bum.	Whenarewethere	0	526	09:42 PM Dec 19, 2023 by Whenarewethere
	An old guy.. (Preview) An old guy was working out at the gym when he spotted a young hot girl walking in.He asked the trainer standing next to him, "What machine should I use to impress that girl over there?"The trainer looked him up and down and said;"I would recommend the ATM in the lobby."	aussie_paul	0	535	01:12 PM Dec 19, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Teacher.. (Preview) Teacher: If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have? Johnny: Seven. Teacher: No, listen carefully If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have? Johnny: Seven. Teacher: Let me put it to you differently If I gave you two apples, and an...	aussie_paul	1	773	04:08 PM Dec 18, 2023 by Craig1
	Men will never learn… (Preview) A woman runs a red traffic light and crashes into a mans car. Both of their cars are demolished but, amazingly, neither of them is hurt.After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says; Wow, just look at our cars! Theres nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we sho...	aussie_paul	0	571	07:18 PM Dec 17, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Odd ode4 (Preview) There was a young man from Westphalia, Who painted his ass like a dahlia, The colour was fine, Likewise the design, The aroma- ah, that was a failia.	Magnarc	0	618	11:27 AM Dec 15, 2023 by Magnarc
	have a giggle (Preview)	Gundog	3	795	09:49 AM Dec 15, 2023 by peter67
	Odd ode. (Preview) There once was a fellow from Lorne, Who wished that he'd never been born, He wouldn't have been if his pappy had seen, That the end of his franger was torn.	Magnarc	10	1027	10:17 AM Dec 14, 2023 by peter67
	Odd ode3 (Preview) In the Garden of Eden lay Adam, Complacently stroking his madam, Loud was his mirth, For he knew that on earth, There were only two balls- and he had 'em.	Magnarc	1	483	10:15 AM Dec 14, 2023 by peter67
	Odd ode2 (Preview) There was a young sailor called Bates, Who danced the fandango on skates, But a fall on his cutlass, Rendered him nutless, And practically useless on dates/	Magnarc	2	680	09:07 AM Dec 13, 2023 by Craig1
	Quickies (Preview) Low Battery: A man saved his girlfriend's phone number on his mobile as 'Low Battery'. Whenever she calls him, in his absence, his wife takes the phone and plugs it into the charger. Give that man a medal Government Survey: A government survey has shown that 91 percent of illegal immigrants come...	Bobdown	1	674	07:24 PM Dec 12, 2023 by peter67
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