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A QUANTAS FLIGHT ATTENDANT;
(Preview)
A mother and her 5-year-old son were flying Qantas from Sydney to Auckland. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told h...
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justcruisin01
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0
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836
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member recognition'
(Preview)
Member Recognition :) One morning three women are golfing on the fourth green when suddenly a guy runs by wearing nothing but a bag over his head. As he passes by the first woman, she looks down and says, Well, hes certainly not my husband. As he passes by the second woman, she also glances downw...
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justcruisin01
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0
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561
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How To Turn No 1 Into No 2.....
(Preview)
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Vic41
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4
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765
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Accident
(Preview)
Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine?. He's fully recovered..
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rockylizard
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0
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597
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Colours
(Preview)
This was written by a black gentleman in Texas and is funny. What a great sense of humour... And creative!!!When U Black, U Black When I was born, I was BLACK, When I grew up, I was BLACK, When I went in the sun, I stayed BLACK, When I got cold, I was BLACK, When I was scared, I was BLACK, When I was sick, I was BLA...
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Hurls
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0
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670
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Quick Thinking
(Preview)
Police work must be entertaining as well as dangerous. Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick LAWRENCE, a 22 year old male, who was caught fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night. The next day, at the Horsham Court (Victoria, Australia), LAWRENCE was charged with lewd and...
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Hurls
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0
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650
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A Puddle
(Preview)
A farmer see's a man drinkin fae a puddle and says "Dinnay drink oot o that, it's foo o coos ****" The man says' "Sorry I'm English - Could you speak English please. "Aye .. Use both hands old chap .. you can get a little more in your mouth"
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Maggie and Alex
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0
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576
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The Value of a Drink
(Preview)
Some old some new 'Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and thinkabout the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams .. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be outof work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to ...
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Hurls
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1
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1115
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magic mirror
(Preview)
Wife came home from a garage sale and excitedly told her husband she had bought a magic mirror. Bull dust! was his reaction. She said no, watch this, she stood in front of the mirror and said " mirror, mirror on the wall make my bust size forty four." Woosh, and she had the best looking breast h...
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Hendo
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1
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707
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DO YOU KNOW JESUS
(Preview)
An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways. She decided she would take her lunch; sit with the workers; and talk with them. She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to t...
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sarg
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2
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703
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Aging Optimism
(Preview)
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Vic41
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3
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785
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A BEAUTIFUL STORY
(Preview)
Once upon a time, a bloke asked a beautiful girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' And the bloke lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch. He had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenev...
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sarg
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2
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736
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Williams Sisters
(Preview)
The Williams sisters were in the change rooms after a couple of gruelling matches when Serena asked her sister Venus Do you think Dad might be feeding us steroids?I dont think so replied Venus, Why do you ask that?Well said Serena, Im starting grow body hairThats not unusual, whereabouts asked Venus...
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Hendo
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2
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623
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Letter To Dad
(Preview)
A British father goes into his daughters bedroom and sees a letter addressed to Mum and Dad on the bed. With a heavy heart he opens it and reads: Dear Mum & Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that Im telling you that Ive eloped with my new boyfriend. Ive found real love and he is so nice. Especiall...
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Vic41
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1
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594
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Nomads.
(Preview)
Old Timer's Bar - all drinks 10 cents! They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, 'Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, Gentlemen?' There seemed to be a fully-stocked bar, so each of th...
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Delta18
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2
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754
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Huggies Vs Depends
(Preview)
Someone has finally explained the reason baby diapers have brand names such as "Luvs" and "Huggies," while undergarments for old people are called "Depends." You see, when babies poop their pants, people are still gonna Luv'em and Hug'em. However, when old p...
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Vic41
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4
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1180
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Stopped By The Police At 2AM
(Preview)
An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 a.m and was asked where he was going at that time of night. The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer then asked, "Really? W...
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Vic41
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0
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650
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Smile, but you are not on Candid Camera.
(Preview)
I think that this is a classic and should get the nod from all concerned..... Not sure if it has been posted before. Making a baby. . . This is hilarious! There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny! The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their fam...
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JayDee
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2
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641
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English Stiff Upper Lip
(Preview)
On a train from London to Manchester taking people to the Ashes cricket match, an Australian was berating the Englishman sitting across the compartment from him. "You English are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest...
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Vic41
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0
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627
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Honesty is always the best policy ... right?
(Preview)
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D and D
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2
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612
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