Just Joking

SLUG · SLUG

An old Vet. walked into a supermarket with his zipper down.A checkout chick walked up to him and said, "Your barracks door is open."Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled.When he was just about done shopping, a man came up and said, "Your fly is open....

SLUG · SLUG

Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?" In a condescending manner, she says, "...

SLUG · SLUG

Wife : Honey before we gotmarried , you used to give me gifts and expensive jewellery. Husband : Yes...so ?Wife : How come you don't do it anymore?Husband : Have you ever seen a fisherman give worms to the fishafter

SLUG · SLUG

Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' To ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer' Hoosband couple 'a years ago?' She replied, 'Aye, that ye' did, Father.' The Father asked, 'And be there a ny wee...

sarg · sarg

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit. The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers. The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy. Then the...

Vic41 · Vic41

A female dwarf goes to a doctor complaining of an embarrassing itch in the groin area. > The doctor looks her up and down, picks her up and stands her on his desk. > He lifts up her skirt and puts his head under. A little perplexed, the lady dwarf > hears "snip, snip, snip, snip." > &...

Yendorane · Yendorane

A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.' 'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago..' 'Well,' G...

Vic41 · Vic41

They were together in the House. Just the two of them. It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump. She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance....and wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protec...

rockylizard · rockylizard

The winning jokes from The Edinburgh Fringe Festival....... Ive decided to sell my Hoover well, it was just collecting dust Tim Vine Ive written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldnt fit it into my set Masai Graham. Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his j...

SLUG · SLUG

Two Irishmen were sitting in a pub watching the Tour de France on TV.Seamus shook his head and asked, "Whoi t'e hell do they do that?" "Do what?" asked Mick. "Go on them boikes for moiles and moiles, up and down t'e hills, round t'e bends. Day After day, week after week. No mat...

SLUG · SLUG

WIFE'S LAWN MOWER FOR SALE > > > > HERES THE STORY. ITS STILL HARD TO BELIEVE THE WAY IT > > TURNED OUT > > > > MY WIFE'S RIDING ON LAWN MOWER IS NOW FOR SALE ! > > > > MY WIFE SAID SHE WANTED A RIDING ON LAWN MOWER. > > > > SHE WORKS ALL DAY AND WAS ALWAYS TI...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!'After a few seconds, Little Harold stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Harold?''No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

An Arab had spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It got so bad that even his camel died of thirst. He crawled through the sands, certain that he was breathing his last breath, when suddenly, he saw a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him He cr...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down t...

Vic41 · Vic41

An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their mobile phones. The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy. One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote: "If you a...

Hendo · Hendo

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." 3. There is a very fine line between &quo...

rockylizard · rockylizard

A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside and the elevator is on t...

SLUG · SLUG

Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to New York . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So, sit bac...

SLUG · SLUG

Subject: CATHOLIC HAIR DRYER READ ON------------------------- You Don't HAVE TO BE CATHOLIC TO THINK THIS IS FUNNY! THIS IS PRICELESS! This is VERY clever! OH, THE POWER IN WORDS... In parochial school students are taught that lying is a sin. However, instructors also advised that usi...

SLUG · SLUG

Should I Really Join Facebook? (Priceless)A good laugh for people in the over 60 Group! When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	been there befor (Preview) An old Vet. walked into a supermarket with his zipper down.A checkout chick walked up to him and said, "Your barracks door is open."Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled.When he was just about done shopping, a man came up and said, "Your fly is open....	SLUG	0	647	11:32 PM Aug 24, 2014 by SLUG
	so dose this one (Preview) Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?" In a condescending manner, she says, "...	SLUG	0	579	10:07 PM Aug 24, 2014 by SLUG
	sounds familiar (Preview) Wife : Honey before we gotmarried , you used to give me gifts and expensive jewellery. Husband : Yes...so ?Wife : How come you don't do it anymore?Husband : Have you ever seen a fisherman give worms to the fishafter	SLUG	0	541	10:06 PM Aug 24, 2014 by SLUG
	another irish one (Preview) Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' To ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer' Hoosband couple 'a years ago?' She replied, 'Aye, that ye' did, Father.' The Father asked, 'And be there a ny wee...	SLUG	0	571	10:04 PM Aug 24, 2014 by SLUG
	SCOTCH ?? (Preview) On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit. The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers. The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy. Then the...	sarg	1	655	08:11 PM Aug 24, 2014 by pugs
	Itchy Bits... (Preview) A female dwarf goes to a doctor complaining of an embarrassing itch in the groin area. > The doctor looks her up and down, picks her up and stands her on his desk. > He lifts up her skirt and puts his head under. A little perplexed, the lady dwarf > hears "snip, snip, snip, snip." > &...	Vic41	0	766	01:09 PM Aug 22, 2014 by Vic41
	old times ! (Preview) A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.' 'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago..' 'Well,' G...	Yendorane	0	658	09:35 AM Aug 22, 2014 by Yendorane
	Forbidden Love.... (Preview) They were together in the House. Just the two of them. It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump. She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance....and wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protec...	Vic41	0	618	09:59 PM Aug 21, 2014 by Vic41
	Edinburgh Fringe Festival (Preview) The winning jokes from The Edinburgh Fringe Festival....... Ive decided to sell my Hoover well, it was just collecting dust Tim Vine Ive written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldnt fit it into my set Masai Graham. Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his j...	rockylizard	0	573	08:14 PM Aug 21, 2014 by rockylizard
	ANOTHER IRISH ONE (Preview) Two Irishmen were sitting in a pub watching the Tour de France on TV.Seamus shook his head and asked, "Whoi t'e hell do they do that?" "Do what?" asked Mick. "Go on them boikes for moiles and moiles, up and down t'e hills, round t'e bends. Day After day, week after week. No mat...	SLUG	0	600	10:02 PM Aug 20, 2014 by SLUG
	THE WIFES NEW RIDE ON LAWN MOWER (Preview) WIFE'S LAWN MOWER FOR SALE > > > > HERES THE STORY. ITS STILL HARD TO BELIEVE THE WAY IT > > TURNED OUT > > > > MY WIFE'S RIDING ON LAWN MOWER IS NOW FOR SALE ! > > > > MY WIFE SAID SHE WANTED A RIDING ON LAWN MOWER. > > > > SHE WORKS ALL DAY AND WAS ALWAYS TI...	SLUG	1	776	08:40 PM Aug 20, 2014 by rockylizard
	JOKES - ENJOY! (Preview) A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!'After a few seconds, Little Harold stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Harold?''No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by...	aussie_paul	3	755	11:13 PM Aug 18, 2014 by SLUG
	An Arab had spent (Preview) An Arab had spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It got so bad that even his camel died of thirst. He crawled through the sands, certain that he was breathing his last breath, when suddenly, he saw a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him He cr...	aussie_paul	1	981	09:32 PM Aug 18, 2014 by SLUG
	Testicle Therapy.. (Preview) Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down t...	aussie_paul	0	693	05:27 PM Aug 18, 2014 by aussie_paul
	Seniors Sexting.... (Preview) An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their mobile phones. The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy. One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote: "If you a...	Vic41	0	759	04:20 PM Aug 18, 2014 by Vic41
	Things that took me many many years to learn (Preview) 1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." 3. There is a very fine line between &quo...	Hendo	2	594	06:31 PM Aug 17, 2014 by Baz421
	Jewish Grandmother (Preview) A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside and the elevator is on t...	rockylizard	2	717	05:50 PM Aug 17, 2014 by Glenhuon
	THE IRISH AGAIN (Preview) Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to New York . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So, sit bac...	SLUG	0	760	02:32 PM Aug 16, 2014 by SLUG
	AGOOD LAUGH (Preview) Subject: CATHOLIC HAIR DRYER READ ON------------------------- You Don't HAVE TO BE CATHOLIC TO THINK THIS IS FUNNY! THIS IS PRICELESS! This is VERY clever! OH, THE POWER IN WORDS... In parochial school students are taught that lying is a sin. However, instructors also advised that usi...	SLUG	0	712	02:25 PM Aug 16, 2014 by SLUG
	over 60 using face book (Preview) Should I Really Join Facebook? (Priceless)A good laugh for people in the over 60 Group! When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed...	SLUG	0	754	02:02 PM Aug 16, 2014 by SLUG
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