Just Joking

Hurls · Hurls

TELSTRA needed to hire a team of telephone pole installers for the Stuart Highway,and McMurray and the boss had to choose between a team of two guys from Port Pirie and a team of two Irish guys. So the boss met both teams and said "Here's what we'll do. Each team will be installing poles out on the new...

Hurls · Hurls

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a government. John Adams If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. Mark Twain Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a memb...

Vic41 · Vic41

Vic41 · Vic41

From the American Association Of Retired People Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them?A: Try a bookstore under fiction.Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement...

Westcoast · Westcoast

[URL=http://s198.photobucket.com/user/kbaqd01/media/ATT00139_zpsa96e8252.jpg.h...

Vic41 · Vic41

Once upon a time there was a very handsome male camel named Alfred with two huge camel humps. He fell in love and married a beautiful Female camel named Marie, who had one perfect camel hump. As time progressed, they became the proud parents of a wonderful baby boy camel, born with no humps. They con...

reglynn · reglynn

The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University . Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 60 years of age cannot do it! 1. This is this cat. 2. This is is cat. 3. This is how cat. 4. This is to cat....

Westcoast · Westcoast

Oil Change instructions for Women: 1) Drive into Ultra Tune when the odometer reaches 10,000 kilometres since the last oil change. 2) Drink a cup of coffee, read free paper.3) 15 minutes later, swipe the Visa and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. Money spent: Oil Change: $40.00 Coffee: $...

Hurls · Hurls

Mother's Driver's License A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date. 'Mummy, the little girl asks, 'how old are you?' 'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age', the mother replied. 'It's not polite'. 'OK', the little girl says, 'What colour was your hair 2 years a...

scooner · scooner

did you about the irishman who thought Sherlock Holmes was a block of flats also thought Ertha Kit was a set of garden tools and Stuff all was a stately home oldies but goodies

Vic41 · Vic41

Either it's out of petrol or the plugs need cleaning....

Vic41 · Vic41

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.' 2. My mother taught me RELIGION . 'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.' 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL 'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to...

Hurls · Hurls

MARRIAGE HUMOR Marriage Humor Wife: 'What are you doing?' Husband: Nothing. Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificatefor an hour.' Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.' ------------------------------- Wife : ...

Hurls · Hurls

CHECK FOR ALZHEIMER'S The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry atHarvard University . Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 60 years of age cannot do it! 1. This is this cat. 2. This is is cat. 3....

Hurls · Hurls

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.King David After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.Sasha Guitry By all means marry.If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.If you get a bad o...

kiwijims · kiwijims

THE NEW AUSTRALIAN NATIONAL ANTHEMAustralians all let us rejoice The weekend now is near We've worked all bloody week for this Dear God let's get a beer. Our desks abound in paperwork Our hands are stained with ink In desperate stage, we'll fly the cage Advance to Friday drinks!! With joyful strains,...

kiwijims · kiwijims

Three boys were heading home from school one day when one started the time-honored game of paternal one-upmanship. He said, "My dads way faster than any of yours, he can throw a 90-mph fast ball from the pitchers mound and run and catch it just after it crosses the plate!" One of the other bo...

kiwijims · kiwijims

An Israeli doctor says: "In Israel, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's testicles, put them on another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for work." The German doctor says: "That's nothing, in Germany we take part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking...

Vic41 · Vic41

Vic41 · Vic41

Air Force One arrives at Heathrow Airport , President Obama strides out to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen. They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London , where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They continue on towards Buck...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Telstra Contract (Preview) TELSTRA needed to hire a team of telephone pole installers for the Stuart Highway,and McMurray and the boss had to choose between a team of two guys from Port Pirie and a team of two Irish guys. So the boss met both teams and said "Here's what we'll do. Each team will be installing poles out on the new...	Hurls	0	678	04:39 PM Jun 23, 2014 by Hurls
	Mark Twain & Others at Their Best (Preview) In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a government. John Adams If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. Mark Twain Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a memb...	Hurls	0	716	04:39 PM Jun 23, 2014 by Hurls
	Career In Organise Crime... (Preview)	Vic41	0	624	01:00 PM Jun 23, 2014 by Vic41
	Retirees Realities.... (Preview) From the American Association Of Retired People Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them?A: Try a bookstore under fiction.Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement...	Vic41	0	790	05:08 PM Jun 21, 2014 by Vic41
	Breakfast (Preview) [URL=http://s198.photobucket.com/user/kbaqd01/media/ATT00139_zpsa96e8252.jpg.h...	Westcoast	0	766	06:59 PM Jun 20, 2014 by Westcoast
	Camels.... (Preview) Once upon a time there was a very handsome male camel named Alfred with two huge camel humps. He fell in love and married a beautiful Female camel named Marie, who had one perfect camel hump. As time progressed, they became the proud parents of a wonderful baby boy camel, born with no humps. They con...	Vic41	5	1108	06:39 PM Jun 20, 2014 by nomadic1
	CHECK FOR ALZHEIMER'S - PRETTY AMAZING (Preview) The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University . Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 60 years of age cannot do it! 1. This is this cat. 2. This is is cat. 3. This is how cat. 4. This is to cat....	reglynn	0	848	03:22 PM Jun 20, 2014 by reglynn
	Oil change instructions (Preview) Oil Change instructions for Women: 1) Drive into Ultra Tune when the odometer reaches 10,000 kilometres since the last oil change. 2) Drink a cup of coffee, read free paper.3) 15 minutes later, swipe the Visa and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. Money spent: Oil Change: $40.00 Coffee: $...	Westcoast	2	986	08:52 PM Jun 19, 2014 by Nomad1946
	Mum's Licence (Preview) Mother's Driver's License A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date. 'Mummy, the little girl asks, 'how old are you?' 'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age', the mother replied. 'It's not polite'. 'OK', the little girl says, 'What colour was your hair 2 years a...	Hurls	0	903	04:48 PM Jun 17, 2014 by Hurls
	Irish thoughts (Preview) did you about the irishman who thought Sherlock Holmes was a block of flats also thought Ertha Kit was a set of garden tools and Stuff all was a stately home oldies but goodies	scooner	0	717	10:36 PM Jun 16, 2014 by scooner
	Why men don't vaccum..... (Preview) Either it's out of petrol or the plugs need cleaning....	Vic41	1	686	04:17 PM Jun 16, 2014 by Vic41
	What My Mother Taught Me (Oldie but a goodie) (Preview) 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.' 2. My mother taught me RELIGION . 'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.' 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL 'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to...	Vic41	2	869	02:01 PM Jun 16, 2014 by Vic41
	MARRIAGE HUMOR (Preview) MARRIAGE HUMOR Marriage Humor Wife: 'What are you doing?' Husband: Nothing. Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificatefor an hour.' Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.' ------------------------------- Wife : ...	Hurls	0	734	07:01 PM Jun 15, 2014 by Hurls
	CHECK FOR ALZHEIMER'S (Preview) CHECK FOR ALZHEIMER'S The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry atHarvard University . Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 60 years of age cannot do it! 1. This is this cat. 2. This is is cat. 3....	Hurls	0	491	07:00 PM Jun 15, 2014 by Hurls
	Some Wise Words on Marriage (Preview) When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.King David After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.Sasha Guitry By all means marry.If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.If you get a bad o...	Hurls	0	1379	06:59 PM Jun 15, 2014 by Hurls
	The Working Mans Anthem (Preview) THE NEW AUSTRALIAN NATIONAL ANTHEMAustralians all let us rejoice The weekend now is near We've worked all bloody week for this Dear God let's get a beer. Our desks abound in paperwork Our hands are stained with ink In desperate stage, we'll fly the cage Advance to Friday drinks!! With joyful strains,...	kiwijims	0	643	01:08 PM Jun 15, 2014 by kiwijims
	My Dad's the fastest (Preview) Three boys were heading home from school one day when one started the time-honored game of paternal one-upmanship. He said, "My dads way faster than any of yours, he can throw a 90-mph fast ball from the pitchers mound and run and catch it just after it crosses the plate!" One of the other bo...	kiwijims	0	638	12:53 PM Jun 15, 2014 by kiwijims
	Award winning joke (Preview) An Israeli doctor says: "In Israel, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's testicles, put them on another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for work." The German doctor says: "That's nothing, in Germany we take part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking...	kiwijims	6	1613	09:03 AM Jun 15, 2014 by bill12
	Some women know how to parallel park..... (Preview)	Vic41	15	1039	08:59 AM Jun 15, 2014 by bill12
	Obama meets the Queen... (Preview) Air Force One arrives at Heathrow Airport , President Obama strides out to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen. They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London , where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They continue on towards Buck...	Vic41	0	674	01:42 AM Jun 15, 2014 by Vic41
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