Just Joking

The Doo crew · The Doo crew

Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller! Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet! I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off! Old age is coming at a real...

Hendo · Hendo

A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throu...

Aus-Kiwi · Aus-Kiwi

Hmm who on here would this match aha

Peter1059 · Peter1059

We had a power outage at my house this morning and my PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPad, ham radio & my new surround sound music system were all shut down. Then I discovered that my iPhone battery was flat and to top it off it was raining outside, so I couldn't play golf. I went into the kitchen to make cof...

Hoodathunkit · Hoodathunkit

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?Eight, the boy replied.The man continued, Do you know what these are used for?The boy replied, Not exact...

Lesley F · Lesley F

http://pickle.ninemsn.com.au/2015/06/16/09/44/guilty-dog-tries-to-subtly-slide-from-trouble

Cadpete · Cadpete

Three men at the top of a slide. Told that whatever they shout as they slide down they'll land in at the bottom. The first man slides down and shouts "Money". He lands in a huge pile of notes. The second man slides down and shouts "women". He lands surrounded by beautiful women. The...

Hendo · Hendo

Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young' pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters...

Weevil · Weevil

A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husband. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"All the women raised their hands.Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"Som...

Yarra · Yarra

The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new Doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.As the doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized Grandma had a prescripti...

Possum3 · Possum3

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Supermarket. The husband picks up a ...case of Carlton Draught and puts it in their cart. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife. 'They're on sale, only $10 for 12 cans', he replies. 'Put them back, it's a waste of money', demands the wife, and so h...

Yarra · Yarra

Daddy, I am coming home to get married soon, so get out your check book. LOLI'm in love with a boy who is far away from me.As you know, I am in Australia, and he lives in Scotland. We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook, had long chats on Whatsapp, he proposed to me on Skype, and now we've had tw...

Magnarc · Magnarc

Gianni Poggio, an elderly Italian man who lives on theoutskirts of Positano, Italy, recently went to the local church forconfession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said:"Father, during World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from ourneighbo...

Possum3 · Possum3

The following is by Douglas Adams of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" fame. "Australia is a very confusing place, taking up a large amount of the bottom half of the planet. It is recognizable from orbit because of many unusual features, including what at first looks like an enorm...

Weevil · Weevil

He's Now a believer ! From now on, I'll believe their is a God .... An Atheist decided to go to a Religious Revival Centre for the first time, to see what it was all about. He sat down and the Preacher came up to him, laid his hands on his hands and said: "By the will of God, you will walk tod...

Peter1059 · Peter1059

I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. "This is the 21st century," she said. "We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad." I can tell you this. That fly never knew what hit him.

Peter1059 · Peter1059

A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they wai...

Peter1059 · Peter1059

Inexperienced Curry Taster

June · June

but a lot of non-living objects are actually male or female. Here are some examples........ FREEZER BAGS: They are male.....because they hold everything in but you can see right through them. PHOTOCOPIERS: They are female....because once turned off it takes a while to warm them up again. TYRE...

Peter1059 · Peter1059

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest o' me life, between the legs o' me wife !" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night ! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of The night." She said, &qu...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Random Thoughts For The 60’s and over (Preview) Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller! Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet! I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off! Old age is coming at a real...	The Doo crew	3	1199	08:55 PM Jun 17, 2015 by The Doo crew
	Little Johnny (Preview) A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throu...	Hendo	0	881	04:02 PM Jun 17, 2015 by Hendo
	I think for the weaker s e x . Economy caravanning .. (Preview) Hmm who on here would this match aha	Aus-Kiwi	1	895	03:33 PM Jun 16, 2015 by June
	Power Outage (Preview) We had a power outage at my house this morning and my PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPad, ham radio & my new surround sound music system were all shut down. Then I discovered that my iPhone battery was flat and to top it off it was raining outside, so I couldn't play golf. I went into the kitchen to make cof...	Peter1059	1	936	12:51 PM Jun 16, 2015 by Aus-Kiwi
	He's my brother (Preview) Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?Eight, the boy replied.The man continued, Do you know what these are used for?The boy replied, Not exact...	Hoodathunkit	0	983	12:14 PM Jun 16, 2015 by Hoodathunkit
	if you love pets, you'll love this video (Preview) http://pickle.ninemsn.com.au/2015/06/16/09/44/guilty-dog-tries-to-subtly-slide-from-trouble	Lesley F	0	714	11:07 AM Jun 16, 2015 by Lesley F
	Slide (Preview) Three men at the top of a slide. Told that whatever they shout as they slide down they'll land in at the bottom. The first man slides down and shouts "Money". He lands in a huge pile of notes. The second man slides down and shouts "women". He lands surrounded by beautiful women. The...	Cadpete	0	921	10:48 AM Jun 15, 2015 by Cadpete
	Old Butch (Preview) Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young' pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters...	Hendo	1	1145	08:03 PM Jun 14, 2015 by Baz421
	I Love You Sweetheart ! (Preview) A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husband. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"All the women raised their hands.Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"Som...	Weevil	0	857	05:11 PM Jun 13, 2015 by Weevil
	Birth control for grandma (Preview) The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new Doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.As the doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized Grandma had a prescripti...	Yarra	0	822	10:58 AM Jun 13, 2015 by Yarra
	Half Price (Preview) A husband and wife are shopping in their local Supermarket. The husband picks up a ...case of Carlton Draught and puts it in their cart. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife. 'They're on sale, only $10 for 12 cans', he replies. 'Put them back, it's a waste of money', demands the wife, and so h...	Possum3	1	883	06:26 PM Jun 12, 2015 by helnev
	Daughter to Dad TEXTING Communication in Todays Generation (Preview) Daddy, I am coming home to get married soon, so get out your check book. LOLI'm in love with a boy who is far away from me.As you know, I am in Australia, and he lives in Scotland. We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook, had long chats on Whatsapp, he proposed to me on Skype, and now we've had tw...	Yarra	0	1000	12:29 PM Jun 12, 2015 by Yarra
	The truth, the whole truth and nothing........... (Preview) Gianni Poggio, an elderly Italian man who lives on theoutskirts of Positano, Italy, recently went to the local church forconfession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said:"Father, during World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from ourneighbo...	Magnarc	0	855	11:42 AM Jun 12, 2015 by Magnarc
	Funny and accurate (Preview) The following is by Douglas Adams of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" fame. "Australia is a very confusing place, taking up a large amount of the bottom half of the planet. It is recognizable from orbit because of many unusual features, including what at first looks like an enorm...	Possum3	1	951	07:02 PM Jun 11, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	He's Now A Believer.... (Preview) *He's Now a believer !* From now on, I'll believe their is a God .... An Atheist decided to go to a Religious Revival Centre for the first time, to see what it was all about. He sat down and the Preacher came up to him, laid his hands on his hands and said: "By the will of God, you will walk tod...	Weevil	1	1769	05:22 PM Jun 11, 2015 by JRH
	IPAD (Preview) I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. "This is the 21st century," she said. "We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad." I can tell you this. That fly never knew what hit him.	Peter1059	0	794	04:59 PM Jun 10, 2015 by Peter1059
	Never be Late (Preview) A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they wai...	Peter1059	0	717	04:55 PM Jun 10, 2015 by Peter1059
	Inexperienced Curry Taster (Preview) Inexperienced Curry Taster	Peter1059	1	954	09:02 AM Jun 10, 2015 by navynurse
	You might not know this..... (Preview) but a lot of non-living objects are actually male or female. Here are some examples........ FREEZER BAGS: They are male.....because they hold everything in but you can see right through them. PHOTOCOPIERS: They are female....because once turned off it takes a while to warm them up again. TYRE...	June	1	790	07:20 PM Jun 9, 2015 by Felicia
	The Best Toast (Preview) John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest o' me life, between the legs o' me wife !" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night ! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of The night." She said, &qu...	Peter1059	0	902	05:09 PM Jun 9, 2015 by Peter1059
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