At dawn the telephone rings and wakes the vacationing English Lord Gillingham. The caller-ID identifies the source of the call as his loyal butler, Callen.

"I'm frightfully sorry to bother you M'Lard but there is a problem. Your prize parrot is now deceased".

"The one that won the International Parrot Competition?"

"I'm afraid so M'Lard."

" Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird....what did he die from?"

"From eating some rotten meat,Sir."

"Rotten meat?...Rotten meat??...who the hell had the temerity to feed my prize-winning bird rotten meat?"

"Nobody Sir. He ate the meat from the dead horse."

"Dead horse?...Dead horse?? What dead horse?"

"Your throroughbred, Sir"

"My personal mount?..my prize thoroughbred??.. is dead?"

"Yes M'Lard,.. he died from over exertion whilst pulling the water cart."

"Are you insane?.. What water cart?"

"The one used to put out the fire, Sir."

"Fire?..Good Lord!...what fire are you talking about man?"

"The one at your house, Sir!...A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."

"What the B'Joves man!...Are you saying that my Heritage Mansion, 'UpJohn Hall' is destroyed because of a candle?"

"I'm terribly sorry Sir...its all been most unfortunate"...

"But we have electricity at 'Upjohn Hall'!

"What on earth was the candle for?"

"For the funeral"...

"WHAT BLOOOODY FUNERAL??!!!"

"Your dearly departed wife's, Sir"...She showed up extremely late one night,....and I thought she was a thief,

so I unfortunately hit her, with your new Ping G20, 204g titanium head golf club..the one with the TFC 149D graphite shaft"......

SILENCE..........VERY LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG SILENCE

"Callen, if you broke my beloved driver, you are indeed, in very very deep shat!"

Hoo Roo