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Fresh Bait
(Preview)
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Possum3
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0
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619
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|
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Irishmen
(Preview)
Three Irishmen are sitting in the pub window seat, watching the front door of the brothel over the road. The local Methodist pastor appears, and quickly goes inside.... "Would you look at that !" says the first Irishman. "Didn't I always say what a bunch of hypocrites they are ?"...
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jules47
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0
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671
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Don't mess with old people
(Preview)
A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could out-do anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had enough. 'Why don't you put your money where your mouth is,' he said. 'I'll bet a week's wage...
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jules47
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0
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691
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Language 101
(Preview)
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improveme...
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Gunsondeck
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2
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946
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Discerning Policeman (compliments of SD)
(Preview)
Discerning Police Officer Three footy fans were walking back from the MCG when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of Jolimont Road. They stopped and discovered a nude female unconscious and near death so one of them phoned the police and also requested an ambulance. Out of r...
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Vic41
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4
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939
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Family....(received from PhillT)
(Preview)
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son. The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watchin...
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Vic41
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4
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1054
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Glenelg - this one is for you.. and others who enjoy :-)
(Preview)
I seen this today and thought of you Dave 
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roadtourer
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1
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681
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ED
(Preview)
Ed walks into Victoria 's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee? ? for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, Ed opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home. Ed presents it to his wife and asks her...
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SLUG
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0
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750
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A Woman Suggested.....
(Preview)
A woman suggests to her husband that she have surgery to make her breasts bigger. Her husband suggests she rub toilet paper between them as an alternative. How would that make my breasts bigger? she asks. I dont know, he replies. But it sure worked for your backside.
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KFT
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0
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821
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never felt safer
(Preview)
I've torn out my alarm system & de-registered from the Neighbourhood Watch.I've got two Pakistani flags raised in my front garden, one at each corner and the black flag of ISIS in the centre.The localpolice, ASIO, ASIS and the other intelligence services are all watching my house 24/7. I've nev...
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SLUG
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1
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870
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Ha ha, a good one
(Preview)
Have a good chuckle. A Traffic Cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the legal speed limit and he asks the biker his name and licence. "Fred" he replies. "Fred what?" the officer asks. "Just Fred" the man responds. The officer is in a good mood and thinks he mi...
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aussie_paul
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0
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955
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Serenity or Selinity
(Preview)
SERENITY Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied.. 'Two years older than me' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.. She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it? Reporters interviewing...
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Dunmowin
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0
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1057
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Retirement
(Preview)
Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day. Question: What...
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Dunmowin
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0
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845
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|
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Irish painter
(Preview)
A painter by the name of Murphy, while not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. Over a short number of years, his fame grew and soon people from all over Ireland were coming to the town of Doolin in County Clare, to get him to paint their likenesses. One day, a beautiful young English woman a...
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reglynn
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1
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629
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grandma
(Preview)
I'm looking for my grandma, when she turned 65, she started walking 5 kms. a day. she's 90 now and we have no idea where she is.
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Don Pedro
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0
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705
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feelings
(Preview)
This guy wakes up out of a deep sleep and, feeling real horny, nudges his wife awake and asks, "Why don't we get it on, eh?" She replies, "I have an appointment at the gynecologist tomorrow and you know I don't like to make love the night before." So the husband agrees and rolled bac...
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SLUG
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0
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718
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little matt
(Preview)
Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name."Yeah teach?" he replies."If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun, how many are left?" asks the teacher.Matt answers &...
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SLUG
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0
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699
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|
|
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medical benifits
(Preview)
The queen of England was visiting one of Canada's top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating."Oh my god!", said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this???"The doctor leading the tour explains, &...
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SLUG
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0
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663
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|
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the blind man
(Preview)
A blind man interviews for a job as a quality controller at the local wood mill. The manager calls the blind man into his office and asks him how he expected to do this job since he was blind. The blind man replied he would do it by smell. The manager decides to test him and places a piece of wood in front of him...
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SLUG
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0
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624
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|
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cut backs
(Preview)
One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and th...
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SLUG
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0
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613
|
|
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