Just Joking

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

A Geordie golfer and his wife walked into a dentist's office. The Geordie said to the dentist, "Doc I'm in one hell of a hurry." "I have two mates sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anaesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

<With the cooler weather I will be going out gold prospecting again and stop entertaining myself, and possibly boring you,.. in this section>.... A bloke goes into the Confessional Box after years being away from the Church. He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down. There's...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter. 10 men and 1 woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided one had to leave, Because otherwise they were all going to fall. They didn't have much time to waste, and weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave...

Lesley F · Lesley F

'Dear Tony Abbott,firstly, may I say thank you. Thank you so much.Finally, someone with some vision and ability and leadership to take over the portfolio for women.'For too long it's simply been women taking care of other women, and you know women can't take care of other women because we all know wo...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

While stitching a cut hand of a 75 year old farmer, whose hand was caught in the squeeze gate while working his cattle, the local Doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Politicians <as it invariably does these days>...and their role as leaders. The o...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Old Mr. Geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time, became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside thatsaid: "Get your treatment for $500, if not cured get back $1,000."Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know...

June · June

A mother-in-law said to her son's wife when the baby was born: 'I don't mean to be rude but he doesn't look anything like my son' The daughter-in-law lifted her skirt and said: 'I don't mean to be rude either but this is a fanny, not a f...ing photo copier' June C.

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

This is an oldie however I never fail to laugh when I tell it to myself on my own round the prospecting camp fire... A burnt out advertising executive decides he has had enough of the rat race and buys a property wayyy out west..No electricity..no phones..no company. He has read everything he can, an...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

A man and his wife are having dinner at a very fine restaurant when an absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a long passionate open mouthed kiss, and says to him, "I'll see you later dear" "And who the hell was that floozy?" says the wife. Tha...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish gentleman who had been going to the Western Wall to pray for a very long long time.. So she went to check it out. She went to The Western Wall and sure enough there he was, walking slowly up to the 'Holy Site'. She watched him pray and after about 45 minute...

Lesley F · Lesley F

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiEycVMKoJo

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night. 5. Change is inevitable, except from a...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Breeding Bulls...................... My wife and I went to the Bathurst District Agricultural Show, and one of the first Exhibits we stopped at was the Breeding Bulls Section, We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached in front of a very muscular Bull that read THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

...an oldie but always worth another visit for us old chauvinistic Grey Nomads..... O..K. HONEY! WE'RE HERE! I SAID I WAS SORRY! I REALLY DO LIKE YOUR MOTHER! YOU CAN COME OUT NOW DEAREST.....whispers....mind your step butterfly.... Hooooo Roooooooo

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Lesley F · Lesley F

Hughes is a fanatical Carlton football supporter. We all know comedians embellish stories, this was amusing. Last year Jarrad Waite, Carlton's full forward was sitting in the front row of his show. Carlton had lost to Richmond, and Waite had kicked 6 points in a row. Dave Hughes deliberately stuff...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A chicken farmer went to the local bar.He sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.The woman said: "How strange, I also just ordered a glass of champagne.""What a coincidence," said the farmer, who added, " It is a special day for me. I am celebrating."&qu...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

A man calls home to his wife and says,"Honey I have been asked to fly up to Cairns with my boss and several of his friends for fishing. We'll be gone for the long weekend and you will appreciate this is a good opportunity for me to get 'that' promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack eno...

June · June

Can I buy you a drink? (let's hop in the sack) Let's just be friends. (Now that we have been to bed what else is there) Call me at the office. I live there. (I'm married) I miss you. (I have no more clean clothes. Come over and do the laundry) I'm divorcing my wife so I can marry you. (When Hell freezes over) I...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

One night a young bloke takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, he of course starts feeling a little horny, With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and broadly smiling he says to her, "Honey, would you have 'rumpy pump...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	GEORDIE GOLF. (Preview) A Geordie golfer and his wife walked into a dentist's office. The Geordie said to the dentist, "Doc I'm in one hell of a hurry." "I have two mates sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anaesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you...	Goldfinger	1	695	07:13 AM Apr 10, 2015 by Blues Man
	Confessional Box...... (Preview) <With the cooler weather I will be going out gold prospecting again and stop entertaining myself, and possibly boring you,.. in this section>.... A bloke goes into the Confessional Box after years being away from the Church. He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down. There's...	Goldfinger	1	869	07:08 AM Apr 10, 2015 by Blues Man
	11 PEOPLE...ON A ROPE. (Preview) Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter. 10 men and 1 woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided one had to leave, Because otherwise they were all going to fall. They didn't have much time to waste, and weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave...	Goldfinger	0	730	11:42 PM Apr 9, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Geraldine Hickey Melb. Comedy Fest. 2015 - letter to Tony Abbott (Preview) 'Dear Tony Abbott,firstly, may I say thank you. Thank you so much.Finally, someone with some vision and ability and leadership to take over the portfolio for women.'For too long it's simply been women taking care of other women, and you know women can't take care of other women because we all know wo...	Lesley F	0	1790	03:43 PM Apr 9, 2015 by Lesley F
	We all know a few 'Post Turtles'....don't we??...... (Preview) While stitching a cut hand of a 75 year old farmer, whose hand was caught in the squeeze gate while working his cattle, the local Doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Politicians <as it invariably does these days>...and their role as leaders. The o...	Goldfinger	0	673	09:49 AM Apr 8, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Dr. Geezer vs. Dr. Young.. (Preview) Old Mr. Geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time, became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside thatsaid: "Get your treatment for $500, if not cured get back $1,000."Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know...	aussie_paul	1	1247	06:07 PM Apr 7, 2015 by Blues Man
	Mother-in-law (Preview) A mother-in-law said to her son's wife when the baby was born: 'I don't mean to be rude but he doesn't look anything like my son' The daughter-in-law lifted her skirt and said: 'I don't mean to be rude either but this is a fanny, not a f...ing photo copier' June C.	June	1	873	07:25 PM Apr 6, 2015 by Kaid
	The bush party/bash.. (Preview) This is an oldie however I never fail to laugh when I tell it to myself on my own round the prospecting camp fire... A burnt out advertising executive decides he has had enough of the rat race and buys a property wayyy out west..No electricity..no phones..no company. He has read everything he can, an...	Goldfinger	0	755	09:49 PM Apr 5, 2015 by Goldfinger
	The Mistress.. (Preview) A man and his wife are having dinner at a very fine restaurant when an absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a long passionate open mouthed kiss, and says to him, "I'll see you later dear" "And who the hell was that floozy?" says the wife. Tha...	Goldfinger	0	737	09:02 PM Apr 5, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Jewish Wisdom (Preview) A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish gentleman who had been going to the Western Wall to pray for a very long long time.. So she went to check it out. She went to The Western Wall and sure enough there he was, walking slowly up to the 'Holy Site'. She watched him pray and after about 45 minute...	Goldfinger	0	674	08:51 PM Apr 5, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Adam Hills sings our National Anthem (Preview) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiEycVMKoJo	Lesley F	1	696	08:43 PM Apr 4, 2015 by JackieP
	MURPHY'S OTHER 15 LAWS!!!! (Preview) 1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night. 5. Change is inevitable, except from a...	aussie_paul	0	769	11:41 AM Apr 3, 2015 by aussie_paul
	Breeding Bulls..... (Preview) Breeding Bulls...................... My wife and I went to the Bathurst District Agricultural Show, and one of the first Exhibits we stopped at was the Breeding Bulls Section, We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached in front of a very muscular Bull that read THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES...	Goldfinger	1	826	02:45 PM Apr 2, 2015 by Bruce and Bev
	Their last argument...... (Preview) ...an oldie but always worth another visit for us old chauvinistic Grey Nomads..... O..K. HONEY! WE'RE HERE! I SAID I WAS SORRY! I REALLY DO LIKE YOUR MOTHER! YOU CAN COME OUT NOW DEAREST.....whispers....mind your step butterfly.... Hooooo Roooooooo	Goldfinger	0	966	05:19 PM Mar 31, 2015 by Goldfinger
	New slow cooker (Preview)	Woody n Sue	0	733	08:20 AM Mar 31, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	David Hughes at the comedy festival (Preview) Hughes is a fanatical Carlton football supporter. We all know comedians embellish stories, this was amusing. Last year Jarrad Waite, Carlton's full forward was sitting in the front row of his show. Carlton had lost to Richmond, and Waite had kicked 6 points in a row. Dave Hughes deliberately stuff...	Lesley F	0	835	11:34 AM Mar 29, 2015 by Lesley F
	What a coincidence? (Preview) A chicken farmer went to the local bar.He sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.The woman said: "How strange, I also just ordered a glass of champagne.""What a coincidence," said the farmer, who added, " It is a special day for me. I am celebrating."&qu...	aussie_paul	0	928	12:13 PM Mar 27, 2015 by aussie_paul
	Outsmart a woman......Are you kidding?..... (Preview) A man calls home to his wife and says,"Honey I have been asked to fly up to Cairns with my boss and several of his friends for fishing. We'll be gone for the long weekend and you will appreciate this is a good opportunity for me to get 'that' promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack eno...	Goldfinger	0	895	10:47 PM Mar 25, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Man Talk (Translated) (Preview) Can I buy you a drink? (let's hop in the sack) Let's just be friends. (Now that we have been to bed what else is there) Call me at the office. I live there. (I'm married) I miss you. (I have no more clean clothes. Come over and do the laundry) I'm divorcing my wife so I can marry you. (When Hell freezes over) I...	June	3	894	06:44 PM Mar 25, 2015 by Goldfinger
	'Good Night Kiss'........ (Preview) One night a young bloke takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, he of course starts feeling a little horny, With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and broadly smiling he says to her, "Honey, would you have 'rumpy pump...	Goldfinger	0	741	03:20 PM Mar 24, 2015 by Goldfinger
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