Just Joking

The Doo crew · The Doo crew

Now that they are retired, my mother and father were discussing all aspects of their future. "What will you do if I die before you do?" Dad asked Mom. After some thought, Mom said that she'd probably look for a house-sharing situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a li...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

A young couple just arrived at the supermarket when their car conked out the man told his wife to still go and do the shopping and hopefully he can fix it by the time she gets back. The wife returned with the shopping to find a small group of spectators watching the work on the car, on closer inspection she n...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A manager walks by his blonde secretary's desk when he notices she is crying her eyes out. Concerned for her well being, he asked her gently: "What's the matter?" To which the blonde replies, Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my aunt had passed away. The boss, feeling very s...

Lesley F · Lesley F

http://www.dumpaday.com/funny-pictures/the-groupon-employee-in-charge-of-replying-to-comments-needs-a-serious-raise/

Collo · Collo

The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands. The instructor said: "Ladies, remember excerise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery much easier. Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft...

iana · iana

Some years ago, at David Jones or Myres, I picked up this book titled something like "Things you can say to women with out upsetting them" All the pages were blank!

Lesley F · Lesley F

While the C-5 was turning over its engines, a female crewman gave the G.I.s on board the usual information regarding seat belts, emergency exits, etc. Finally, she said, 'Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to Afghanistan ' An ol...

The Doo crew · The Doo crew

South African Dutchman Van der Merwe had never been out of South Africa. While on holiday in Australia he decided to spend an afternoon visiting Bondi Beach. As he sat on the beach looking out to sea he saw a long line of black dots out in the water and said to an Aussie, who was sitting close by, "What...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

A little girl runs into her parents room and emands that her mother tells her a story. "It's three in the morning , deer say her mother why can't you just go back to bed ?. I tried that mummy but it didn't work Mother sighs and says "I'll tel you what, you jump into bed here with me, and when your fa...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

A big game hunter goes on safarie with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening the wife wakes to find her mother gone. She wakes her husband. He picks up his rifle, and they go looking for her . In a clearing not far from the camp they come upon a chilling sight. The mother-in law is backed up against a tree...

kiwijims · kiwijims

The Pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the pastor's family expanded; so would his pay check.After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold an...

Peter1059 · Peter1059

A group of guys, all aged 40, discussed where they should meet for a reunion lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons Pub in Uxbridge because the waitresses had big breasts and wore mini-skirts. Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should me...

petengail · petengail

I saw Cat Stevens at the local Caravan Park yesterday, he was looking a little sad. "Awning has broken" he said, rather dejectedly. -- Edited by petengail on Monday 13th of April 2015 01:16:50 PM

Hendo · Hendo

An Irish bank robber pulls out his gun, points it at the teller, and says "give me all your money or you're geography!" The puzzled teller replies "do you mean to say 'or you're history'? The Irishman yells back "Don't change the subject!!"

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles, My next pooo could spell disaster....... Went out last night and got really wasted, I woke up this morning next to a large old bird who was snoring and farting....so, at least I managed to get home OK!... The wife's back on the warpath again. She was u...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Joe says to Paddy : "Close your curtains ta next time ya makin love to your wife Paddy the whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday." Paddy says: "Well ta jokes on them cos I wasn't even at home yesterday.".... Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing n...

iana · iana

Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a "Hole in one" !!!!!

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Husband buys his son an iPAD, daughter an iPOD, himself an iPHONE and his wife an iRON. She wasn't impressed even when he explained it can be integrated with the iWASH, iCOOK, and iCLEAN network. This triggered the iNAG service, which totally wiped out the iSHAG function...... Hoo Roo.

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

A little old lady enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it with white knuckles for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk, "Dooo youuuuu have dilllldoooos?...

Possum3 · Possum3

Ever imagine what it would be like if your pets had diaries? What would your favorite animal friend write about their day, about their life, about you? Dog Diary; 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	If I Die First... (Preview) Now that they are retired, my mother and father were discussing all aspects of their future. "What will you do if I die before you do?" Dad asked Mom. After some thought, Mom said that she'd probably look for a house-sharing situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a li...	The Doo crew	1	841	02:13 PM Apr 20, 2015 by grahos
	Car trouble (Preview) A young couple just arrived at the supermarket when their car conked out the man told his wife to still go and do the shopping and hopefully he can fix it by the time she gets back. The wife returned with the shopping to find a small group of spectators watching the work on the car, on closer inspection she n...	Woody n Sue	0	917	08:24 PM Apr 19, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	Blonde secretary... (Preview) A manager walks by his blonde secretary's desk when he notices she is crying her eyes out. Concerned for her well being, he asked her gently: "What's the matter?" To which the blonde replies, Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my aunt had passed away. The boss, feeling very s...	aussie_paul	0	809	06:59 PM Apr 19, 2015 by aussie_paul
	This Groupon employee needs a serious raise (Preview) http://www.dumpaday.com/funny-pictures/the-groupon-employee-in-charge-of-replying-to-comments-needs-a-serious-raise/	Lesley F	1	1234	03:42 PM Apr 19, 2015 by D and D
	Pregnant Ladies. (Preview) The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands. The instructor said: "Ladies, remember excerise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery much easier. Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft...	Collo	0	685	07:49 PM Apr 18, 2015 by Collo
	This is true. (Preview) Some years ago, at David Jones or Myres, I picked up this book titled something like "Things you can say to women with out upsetting them" All the pages were blank!	iana	0	692	04:14 PM Apr 18, 2015 by iana
	female humour (Preview) While the C-5 was turning over its engines, a female crewman gave the G.I.s on board the usual information regarding seat belts, emergency exits, etc. Finally, she said, 'Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to Afghanistan ' An ol...	Lesley F	0	888	06:46 PM Apr 17, 2015 by Lesley F
	Black Buoy's (Preview) South African Dutchman Van der Merwe had never been out of South Africa. While on holiday in Australia he decided to spend an afternoon visiting Bondi Beach. As he sat on the beach looking out to sea he saw a long line of black dots out in the water and said to an Aussie, who was sitting close by, "What...	The Doo crew	0	810	04:57 PM Apr 17, 2015 by The Doo crew
	Bed time story (Preview) A little girl runs into her parents room and emands that her mother tells her a story. "It's three in the morning , deer say her mother why can't you just go back to bed ?. I tried that mummy but it didn't work Mother sighs and says "I'll tel you what, you jump into bed here with me, and when your fa...	Woody n Sue	0	618	10:36 AM Apr 17, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	Big game hunter (Preview) A big game hunter goes on safarie with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening the wife wakes to find her mother gone. She wakes her husband. He picks up his rifle, and they go looking for her . In a clearing not far from the camp they come upon a chilling sight. The mother-in law is backed up against a tree...	Woody n Sue	0	677	10:31 AM Apr 17, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	The Pastor's salary (Preview) The Pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the pastor's family expanded; so would his pay check.After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold an...	kiwijims	0	789	11:04 AM Apr 16, 2015 by kiwijims
	Lunch (Preview) A group of guys, all aged 40, discussed where they should meet for a reunion lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons Pub in Uxbridge because the waitresses had big breasts and wore mini-skirts. Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should me...	Peter1059	0	759	10:25 AM Apr 16, 2015 by Peter1059
	Cat Stevens (Preview) I saw Cat Stevens at the local Caravan Park yesterday, he was looking a little sad. "Awning has broken" he said, rather dejectedly. -- Edited by petengail on Monday 13th of April 2015 01:16:50 PM	petengail	1	748	06:43 PM Apr 14, 2015 by iana
	Irish Bank Robber (Preview) An Irish bank robber pulls out his gun, points it at the teller, and says "give me all your money or you're geography!" The puzzled teller replies "do you mean to say 'or you're history'? The Irishman yells back "Don't change the subject!!"	Hendo	0	977	03:19 PM Apr 14, 2015 by Hendo
	Perhaps a tad P/Incorrect...... (Preview) I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles, My next pooo could spell disaster....... Went out last night and got really wasted, I woke up this morning next to a large old bird who was snoring and farting....so, at least I managed to get home OK!... The wife's back on the warpath again. She was u...	Goldfinger	0	830	10:08 AM Apr 14, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Poor blooody Irish...and I'm one..... (Preview) Joe says to Paddy : "Close your curtains ta next time ya makin love to your wife Paddy the whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday." Paddy says: "Well ta jokes on them cos I wasn't even at home yesterday.".... Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing n...	Goldfinger	0	1050	03:18 PM Apr 13, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Golfers (Preview) Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a "Hole in one" !!!!!	iana	0	956	11:33 PM Apr 10, 2015 by iana
	Apple purchases..... (Preview) Husband buys his son an iPAD, daughter an iPOD, himself an iPHONE and his wife an iRON. She wasn't impressed even when he explained it can be integrated with the iWASH, iCOOK, and iCLEAN network. This triggered the iNAG service, which totally wiped out the iSHAG function...... Hoo Roo.	Goldfinger	1	813	07:04 PM Apr 10, 2015 by Collo
	Senior in a Sex Shop...... (Preview) A little old lady enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it with white knuckles for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk, "Dooo youuuuu have dilllldoooos?...	Goldfinger	2	962	06:32 PM Apr 10, 2015 by iana
	Dog VS Cat - Diaries (Preview) Ever imagine what it would be like if your pets had diaries? What would your favorite animal friend write about their day, about their life, about you? Dog Diary; 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got...	Possum3	0	968	10:24 AM Apr 10, 2015 by Possum3
«First < 1 … 481 482 483 484 485 … 688 > Last» \| Page of 688 sorted by