Just Joking

Peter1059 · Peter1059

A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they wai...

Peter1059 · Peter1059

Inexperienced Curry Taster

June · June

but a lot of non-living objects are actually male or female. Here are some examples........ FREEZER BAGS: They are male.....because they hold everything in but you can see right through them. PHOTOCOPIERS: They are female....because once turned off it takes a while to warm them up again. TYRE...

Peter1059 · Peter1059

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest o' me life, between the legs o' me wife !" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night ! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of The night." She said, &qu...

Peter1059 · Peter1059

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' 'Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner o...

Peter1059 · Peter1059

NEVER CHEAT ON A SASKATCHEWAN WOMAN! A country wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With super-human strength, borne of fury, and cutting firewood, lifting sacks of feed, and bales of hay, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door and into the barn. She p...

Peter1059 · Peter1059

In parochial school students are taught that lying is a sin. However, instructors also advised that using a bit of imagination was OK to express the truth differently without lying. Below is a perfect example of those teachings: Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs. An attractive young woman on a...

Magnarc · Magnarc

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door? 'The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled...

Magnarc · Magnarc

I was sitting on a bench in the park next to a homeless man, I asked him how he ended up this way.He said: Up until Last week, I still had it all!!! A cook, cooked my meals, my room was cleaned, my clothes were washed, pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had TV, internet, I went to the gym, the pool, the library,...

Yarra · Yarra

A teacher asks her class , "can anyone tell me who is Robin Hood's girlfriend ??" Little Paddy raises his hand and say's " yes miss, its Trudy Glen !!! " "No Paddy the answer is Maid Marian !!" " But miss, what about the song??, "Robin hood, Robin hood, R...

Hey Jim · Hey Jim

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

This is what football players did to keep fit back in the days before big money spoilt the game

Weevil · Weevil

Daughter to Father: "Dad there is something that my boyfriend said to me, that I didn't understand. He said that I have a beautiful chassis, lovely airbags and a fantastic bumper." Father's response: "Tell your boyfriend that if he opens your bonnet and tries to check your oil with h...

Weevil · Weevil

-- Edited by Weevil on Sunday 7th of June 2015 01:19:54 AM

Weevil · Weevil

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

There is a medical distinction between "Guts" and "Balls"... We've all heard friends and colleagues referring to people with "Guts", or with "Balls". Do they, however really know the difference between them? Here's the 'official' distinction; st...

Hey Jim · Hey Jim

A Priest was driving along in his car and see's a Nun walk on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift, which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs., forcing the habit to open and reveal a leg. The priest looks and nearly has an accident, and after changing gear lets his hand slide up he...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Presently I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles. Therefore every day, I go down the street and tell every passer by what I have eaten, how I feel, what I have done the night before, and what I will do after, I give them pictures of my family, my wife, my daughter...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

A young Catholic Girl went to Confession and said to the Priest, "Father I'm pregnant." He asked, "How did this happen my child?" She replied, "I tink it must have been the Second Coming Father".... The Priest is shocked by this reply, and asked, "What makes yo...

Weevil · Weevil

http://www.toilette-humor.com/funny_adult_humor/one_last_kiss.shtml

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Never be Late (Preview) A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they wai...	Peter1059	0	671	04:55 PM Jun 10, 2015 by Peter1059
	Inexperienced Curry Taster (Preview) Inexperienced Curry Taster	Peter1059	1	906	09:02 AM Jun 10, 2015 by navynurse
	You might not know this..... (Preview) but a lot of non-living objects are actually male or female. Here are some examples........ FREEZER BAGS: They are male.....because they hold everything in but you can see right through them. PHOTOCOPIERS: They are female....because once turned off it takes a while to warm them up again. TYRE...	June	1	741	07:20 PM Jun 9, 2015 by Felicia
	The Best Toast (Preview) John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest o' me life, between the legs o' me wife !" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night ! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of The night." She said, &qu...	Peter1059	0	847	05:09 PM Jun 9, 2015 by Peter1059
	Thank you Father (Preview) 'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' 'Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner o...	Peter1059	0	571	04:21 PM Jun 9, 2015 by Peter1059
	Never Cheat (Preview) NEVER CHEAT ON A SASKATCHEWAN WOMAN! A country wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With super-human strength, borne of fury, and cutting firewood, lifting sacks of feed, and bales of hay, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door and into the barn. She p...	Peter1059	0	706	04:16 PM Jun 9, 2015 by Peter1059
	Never Lie (Preview) In parochial school students are taught that lying is a sin. However, instructors also advised that using a bit of imagination was OK to express the truth differently without lying. Below is a perfect example of those teachings: Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs. An attractive young woman on a...	Peter1059	0	614	04:11 PM Jun 9, 2015 by Peter1059
	Could happen to anyone! (Preview) The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door? 'The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled...	Magnarc	0	685	03:29 PM Jun 9, 2015 by Magnarc
	Aint this the truth!!!!! (Preview) I was sitting on a bench in the park next to a homeless man, I asked him how he ended up this way.He said: Up until Last week, I still had it all!!! A cook, cooked my meals, my room was cleaned, my clothes were washed, pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had TV, internet, I went to the gym, the pool, the library,...	Magnarc	0	555	03:27 PM Jun 9, 2015 by Magnarc
	Robin Hood (Preview) A teacher asks her class , "can anyone tell me who is Robin Hood's girlfriend ??" Little Paddy raises his hand and say's " yes miss, its Trudy Glen !!! " "No Paddy the answer is Maid Marian !!" " But miss, what about the song??, "Robin hood, Robin hood, R...	Yarra	1	748	10:49 AM Jun 9, 2015 by Baz421
	D BOSS (Preview)	Hey Jim	1	714	09:46 PM Jun 8, 2015 by helnev
	Keep fit to play on the weekend (Preview) This is what football players did to keep fit back in the days before big money spoilt the game	Wombat 280	1	656	09:40 PM Jun 8, 2015 by helnev
	Daughter/Father.....(Caution - Could Offend Some) (Preview) Daughter to Father: "Dad there is something that my boyfriend said to me, that I didn't understand. He said that I have a beautiful chassis, lovely airbags and a fantastic bumper." Father's response: "Tell your boyfriend that if he opens your bonnet and tries to check your oil with h...	Weevil	3	1087	09:39 PM Jun 8, 2015 by helnev
	Deleted... (Preview) -- Edited by Weevil on Sunday 7th of June 2015 01:19:54 AM	Weevil	5	2950	09:44 AM Jun 7, 2015 by 2weis
	16 Reasons Why Planes Are Easier To Live With Than Women... (Preview)	Weevil	0	796	12:29 PM Jun 6, 2015 by Weevil
	"Guts" & "Balls?" (Preview) There is a medical distinction between "Guts" and "Balls"... We've all heard friends and colleagues referring to people with "Guts", or with "Balls". Do they, however really know the difference between them? Here's the 'official' distinction; st...	Goldfinger	2	1738	05:27 PM Jun 5, 2015 by Hey Jim
	"FATHER PLEASE" (Preview) A Priest was driving along in his car and see's a Nun walk on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift, which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs., forcing the habit to open and reveal a leg. The priest looks and nearly has an accident, and after changing gear lets his hand slide up he...	Hey Jim	1	913	07:35 PM Jun 4, 2015 by helnev
	Friends without Facebook..... (Preview) Presently I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles. Therefore every day, I go down the street and tell every passer by what I have eaten, how I feel, what I have done the night before, and what I will do after, I give them pictures of my family, my wife, my daughter...	Goldfinger	0	785	04:09 PM Jun 4, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Confession!!...... (Preview) A young Catholic Girl went to Confession and said to the Priest, "Father I'm pregnant." He asked, "How did this happen my child?" She replied, "I tink it must have been the Second Coming Father".... The Priest is shocked by this reply, and asked, "What makes yo...	Goldfinger	1	849	08:19 PM Jun 3, 2015 by helnev
	One Last Kiss (For the blokes - Sound On !) (Preview) http://www.toilette-humor.com/funny_adult_humor/one_last_kiss.shtml	Weevil	4	1065	08:09 PM Jun 3, 2015 by helnev
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