|
Why I Like Retirement
(Preview)
WhyILike Retirement ! Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day. Question: What's the bigg...
|
barina
|
0
|
841
|
|
|
|
|
It's Hell Getting Old...
(Preview)
OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet! An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.' The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at...
|
Vic41
|
0
|
649
|
|
|
|
|
Trivia....
(Preview)
Why do men's clothes have buttons on the right while women's clothes have buttons on the left? A: When buttons were invented, they were very expensive and worn primarily by the rich. Since most people are right-handed, it is easier to pushbuttons on the right through holes on the left. Because wealth...
|
Vic41
|
0
|
715
|
|
|
|
|
As I'v grown older....
(Preview)
As I have grown older: I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pi**ingeveryone off is a piece of cake. Condoms dont guarantee safe sex any more.. a friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the womans husband. Lance Armstrong I think it is just terrible and disgusting how every...
|
Dunmowin
|
1
|
803
|
|
|
|
|
My last word on State Of Origin -- for 2014
(Preview)
For those of you who do not know who the Baron is, he is Tom Waterhouses turf tipster. Some of the critiques are quite hilarious. NB McManus, Taylor etc The Barons NSW Origin III Player Ratings 1. Jarryd Hayne (7.5) The Blues most dangerous player. His route running though suggests he is...
|
Cupie
|
0
|
1026
|
|
|
|
|
Ann Summers
(Preview)
The Ann Summers Fatality A man walks into the Ann Summers shop to purchase some see-through lingerie for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from £50 to £150 in price - the more see-through the higher the price.He opts for the sheerest item, pays the £150 and takes the lingerie home....
|
Gunsondeck
|
0
|
695
|
|
|
|
|
How I lost my teeth
(Preview)
I Was in the Texas Rose last night, at the bar waiting for a beer, when a butt-ugly, Big old heifer came up behind me, and slapped me on the ass. She said, "Hey sexy, how about giving me your number! I looked at her and said, "Have you got a pen?" She said, "I sure do." I said, "...
|
Gunsondeck
|
0
|
717
|
|
|
|
|
Football Gear........
(Preview)
A Woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. Just after getting into bed the woman's husband also comes home unexpectedly, sh...
|
Vic41
|
1
|
730
|
|
|
|
|
Ding Dong......
(Preview)
A woman's husband has gone to golf and her lover comes to visit her at home while he is gone, leaving his car down the road. They are in the bedroom making passionate love when she hears a car door slam and looking outside sees her husband coming in with his golf clubs. She pushes her lovers clothes under...
|
Vic41
|
0
|
638
|
|
|
|
|
Benefits ;;
(Preview)
Dear Benefits Office Manager, My name is Mohammed Reza and I live in Birmingham. Many years ago, I married a widow who had an 18-year-old daughter.After the wedding, my father, a widower, came to visit and he fell in love with my step-daughter. My father eventually married her and as a result, my st...
|
justcruisin01
|
1
|
729
|
|
|
|
|
Free health tip
(Preview)
|
Kendo
|
1
|
972
|
|
|
|
|
An Aussie at Buck Palace
(Preview)
Bluey, an Aussie, goes to Buckingham Palace for an interview for a job as a footman. He is ushered into a room in front of a panel of men & women. He is asked a few questions & then the Chairman of the panel said, "That is satisfactory. Now would you roll your trouser legs up above your kn...
|
kandagal
|
0
|
713
|
|
|
|
|
BRITISH HUMOUR...
(Preview)
These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers: FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites! FREE PUPPIES 1/2 ****er Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog. FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father is a...
|
Gunsondeck
|
0
|
816
|
|
|
|
|
Ha!
(Preview)
|
Gunsondeck
|
0
|
678
|
|
|
|
|
What A Guy
(Preview)
A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said,"Perfect timing. You're just like Brian" Passenger: "Who?" Cabbie: "Brian . He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when yo...
|
rosco532
|
0
|
650
|
|
|
|
|
The State We're In
(Preview)
. New South Wales A senior citizen drove his brand new Holden Senator out of the dealership Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 120 kph, enjoying the power of the car .. Amazing, he thought as he flew down the F3, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a highway patrol...
|
Hurls
|
0
|
723
|
|
|
|
|
Golf Lessons....
(Preview)
A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, " God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa." The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?' The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, i...
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
700
|
|
|
|
|
THREE VIRGINS;;
(Preview)
Three virgin sisters were all getting married within a short time period. Mum was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started and made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on their first impressions The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days aft...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
807
|
|
|
|
|
SCHNAUZER
(Preview)
My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian.The vet found that the problem was ear wax and hair clogging the dog's ears.He cleaned both ears and the dog could then hear fine.The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from re...
|
Big Gorilla
|
1
|
722
|
|
|
|
|
Honeymoon....
(Preview)
A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed hit right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said 'How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancée is still a virgin - in every way' The doctor told him, 'I'll...
|
Vic41
|
0
|
612
|
|
|
