Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. Hed never been to church in his life.After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said: Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?Murphy said: I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I mispla...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A man is sitting on a blanket at the beach.He has no arms and no legs. Three women, from England, Wales, and Scotland, Walk past and felt sorry for the poor man. The English woman said "Have you ever had a hug?" The man said "No," so she gave him a hug and walked on. The Welsh woma...

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview opened a file drawer, and pulled out a picture. He then said, "To be a detective you must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and o...

reglynn · reglynn

There was a group of women gathered at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked, 'How many of you love your husbands?' All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, 'When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?' Some women answered t...

reglynn · reglynn

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?' The parrot says, 'I was born this way.I'm a defective parrot.''Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood and an...

SLUG · SLUG

AUSTRALIAN ETIQUETTEIN GENERAL 1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview. 2.. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them. 3. It's tacky to take an Esky to church. 4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets. 5. Even if you're certain you're included in the...

Vic41 · Vic41

Arthur is 90 years old. Hes played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. Thats it, he tells his wife. Im giving up golf. My eyesight has got so bad. Once Ive hit the ball, I cant see where it went. His wife sympathizes. As they sit down, she has a suggest...

reglynn · reglynn

A bloke goes to the local council to apply for a job in the office. The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies, "Yes, caffeine." "Have you ever worked for the public service before?" Yes, I was in the army." he says, "I was i...

reglynn · reglynn

In parochial school, students are taught that lying is a sin. However, instructors also advised, that using a bit of imagination was OK to express the truth differently, without lying. Below is a perfect example of those teachings: An attractive young woman, on a flight from Ireland, a...

Delta18 · Delta18

In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy. Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost...

gerard gue · gerard gue

Black Panties Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the dating world. Finally, Anna said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, "Mom I have someone for you to meet." Well...

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

As You Mature, It's The Little Things That Don't Seem To Matter As Much As They used To! This chick looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Bundy?" I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out." I mean, when you are over sixt...

Vic41 · Vic41

An admiral visited one of the ships under his command. While eating breakfast with the crew he was impressed to see the naval insignia stamped on every biscuit. He went to the Chief cook to ask how this feat was achieved, so it could be used on other ships. The Chief replied, "Id be glad to sha...

SLUG · SLUG

Tractor pull in Indonesia this is how NOT to do it. :)

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

All of the ten senior members of the Board of Directors of the companywere called into the chairman's office one by one until only Bob, thejunior member, was left sitting outside.Finally it was his turn to be summoned. He entered the office to findthe chairman and the ten other directors seated aroun...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

My forgetter's getting better,But my rememberer is broke To you that may seem funny But, to me, that is no joke For when I'm 'here' I'm wondering If I really should be 'there' And, when I try to think it through, I haven't got a prayer! Oft times I walk into a room, Say 'what am I here for?' I wrack my brain, bu...

Ontos45 · Ontos45

A bit of fun

Cupie · Cupie

Sounds like a true story to me ... Enjoy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0kIj_PIpaI

dING · dING

Church Ladies With Typewriters They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! We are thankful for the church ladies with typewriters.These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services. The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. --------...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Oldie but a goody.... Little Jimmie Simmers and Paddy had been drinking at their local Dublin bar all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy'..Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then'. Paddy spin...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday (Preview) Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. Hed never been to church in his life.After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said: Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?Murphy said: I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I mispla...	aussie_paul	0	999	01:12 PM Nov 27, 2014 by aussie_paul
	SCOTTISH COMPASSION............ (Preview) A man is sitting on a blanket at the beach.He has no arms and no legs. Three women, from England, Wales, and Scotland, Walk past and felt sorry for the poor man. The English woman said "Have you ever had a hug?" The man said "No," so she gave him a hug and walked on. The Welsh woma...	aussie_paul	0	782	01:03 PM Nov 27, 2014 by aussie_paul
	Brilliant Blonde Detective (Preview) Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview opened a file drawer, and pulled out a picture. He then said, "To be a detective you must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and o...	Gunsondeck	0	972	05:56 PM Nov 25, 2014 by Gunsondeck
	When was the last time you told your husband you loved him? (Preview) There was a group of women gathered at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked, 'How many of you love your husbands?' All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, 'When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?' Some women answered t...	reglynn	0	744	10:21 PM Nov 24, 2014 by reglynn
	The Defective Parrot. (Preview) A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?' The parrot says, 'I was born this way.I'm a defective parrot.''Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood and an...	reglynn	1	981	12:05 AM Nov 24, 2014 by Rob49
	AUSTRALIAN ETIQUETTE (Preview) AUSTRALIAN ETIQUETTEIN GENERAL 1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview. 2.. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them. 3. It's tacky to take an Esky to church. 4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets. 5. Even if you're certain you're included in the...	SLUG	0	956	02:04 AM Nov 23, 2014 by SLUG
	Seniors Golf (Preview) Arthur is 90 years old. Hes played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. Thats it, he tells his wife. Im giving up golf. My eyesight has got so bad. Once Ive hit the ball, I cant see where it went. His wife sympathizes. As they sit down, she has a suggest...	Vic41	0	883	01:21 PM Nov 21, 2014 by Vic41
	COUNCIL JOB (Preview) A bloke goes to the local council to apply for a job in the office. The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies, "Yes, caffeine." "Have you ever worked for the public service before?" Yes, I was in the army." he says, "I was i...	reglynn	0	948	08:39 AM Nov 21, 2014 by reglynn
	Catholic Hairdryer (Preview) In parochial school, students are taught that lying is a sin. However, instructors also advised, that using a bit of imagination was OK to express the truth differently, without lying. Below is a perfect example of those teachings: An attractive young woman, on a flight from Ireland, a...	reglynn	0	863	08:43 PM Nov 19, 2014 by reglynn
	How Internet started, according to the Bible. (Preview) In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy. Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost...	Delta18	2	1305	02:30 PM Nov 18, 2014 by grahos
	Black Panties (Preview) Black Panties Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the dating world. Finally, Anna said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, "Mom I have someone for you to meet." Well...	gerard gue	0	943	11:31 AM Nov 16, 2014 by gerard gue
	When your over sixty.... (Preview) As You Mature, It's The Little Things That Don't Seem To Matter As Much As They used To! This chick looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Bundy?" I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out." I mean, when you are over sixt...	Gunsondeck	0	1035	06:43 PM Nov 15, 2014 by Gunsondeck
	NAVY COOKS (Preview) An admiral visited one of the ships under his command. While eating breakfast with the crew he was impressed to see the naval insignia stamped on every biscuit. He went to the Chief cook to ask how this feat was achieved, so it could be used on other ships. The Chief replied, "Id be glad to sha...	Vic41	1	1160	12:18 PM Nov 15, 2014 by Gunsondeck
	tractor pull in indonesia (Preview) Tractor pull in Indonesia this is how NOT to do it. :)	SLUG	1	858	04:23 AM Nov 15, 2014 by Jonathan
	A Delicate Corporate Matter.... (Preview) All of the ten senior members of the Board of Directors of the companywere called into the chairman's office one by one until only Bob, thejunior member, was left sitting outside.Finally it was his turn to be summoned. He entered the office to findthe chairman and the ten other directors seated aroun...	aussie_paul	0	904	10:33 PM Nov 14, 2014 by aussie_paul
	My forgetter's getting better, (Preview) My forgetter's getting better,But my rememberer is broke To you that may seem funny But, to me, that is no joke For when I'm 'here' I'm wondering If I really should be 'there' And, when I try to think it through, I haven't got a prayer! Oft times I walk into a room, Say 'what am I here for?' I wrack my brain, bu...	aussie_paul	5	1080	11:15 AM Nov 14, 2014 by grahos
	A bad day comming. (Preview) A bit of fun	Ontos45	0	907	12:55 PM Nov 13, 2014 by Ontos45
	Senior Citizens' Meat Raffle (Preview) Sounds like a true story to me ... Enjoy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0kIj_PIpaI	Cupie	2	2376	09:15 AM Nov 13, 2014 by Phillipn
	Church Ladies ya Gotta Lurve Em (Preview) Church Ladies With Typewriters They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! We are thankful for the church ladies with typewriters.These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services. The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. --------...	dING	0	856	05:56 PM Nov 12, 2014 by dING
	Best Irish joke this week (Preview) Oldie but a goody.... Little Jimmie Simmers and Paddy had been drinking at their local Dublin bar all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy'..Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then'. Paddy spin...	aussie_paul	2	883	03:16 PM Nov 12, 2014 by Ontos45
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