Just Joking

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

A little girl runs into her parents room and emands that her mother tells her a story. "It's three in the morning , deer say her mother why can't you just go back to bed ?. I tried that mummy but it didn't work Mother sighs and says "I'll tel you what, you jump into bed here with me, and when your fa...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

A big game hunter goes on safarie with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening the wife wakes to find her mother gone. She wakes her husband. He picks up his rifle, and they go looking for her . In a clearing not far from the camp they come upon a chilling sight. The mother-in law is backed up against a tree...

kiwijims · kiwijims

The Pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the pastor's family expanded; so would his pay check.After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold an...

Peter1059 · Peter1059

A group of guys, all aged 40, discussed where they should meet for a reunion lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons Pub in Uxbridge because the waitresses had big breasts and wore mini-skirts. Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should me...

petengail · petengail

I saw Cat Stevens at the local Caravan Park yesterday, he was looking a little sad. "Awning has broken" he said, rather dejectedly. -- Edited by petengail on Monday 13th of April 2015 01:16:50 PM

Hendo · Hendo

An Irish bank robber pulls out his gun, points it at the teller, and says "give me all your money or you're geography!" The puzzled teller replies "do you mean to say 'or you're history'? The Irishman yells back "Don't change the subject!!"

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles, My next pooo could spell disaster....... Went out last night and got really wasted, I woke up this morning next to a large old bird who was snoring and farting....so, at least I managed to get home OK!... The wife's back on the warpath again. She was u...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Joe says to Paddy : "Close your curtains ta next time ya makin love to your wife Paddy the whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday." Paddy says: "Well ta jokes on them cos I wasn't even at home yesterday.".... Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing n...

iana · iana

Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a "Hole in one" !!!!!

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Husband buys his son an iPAD, daughter an iPOD, himself an iPHONE and his wife an iRON. She wasn't impressed even when he explained it can be integrated with the iWASH, iCOOK, and iCLEAN network. This triggered the iNAG service, which totally wiped out the iSHAG function...... Hoo Roo.

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

A little old lady enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it with white knuckles for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk, "Dooo youuuuu have dilllldoooos?...

Possum3 · Possum3

Ever imagine what it would be like if your pets had diaries? What would your favorite animal friend write about their day, about their life, about you? Dog Diary; 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

A Geordie golfer and his wife walked into a dentist's office. The Geordie said to the dentist, "Doc I'm in one hell of a hurry." "I have two mates sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anaesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

<With the cooler weather I will be going out gold prospecting again and stop entertaining myself, and possibly boring you,.. in this section>.... A bloke goes into the Confessional Box after years being away from the Church. He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down. There's...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter. 10 men and 1 woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided one had to leave, Because otherwise they were all going to fall. They didn't have much time to waste, and weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave...

Lesley F · Lesley F

'Dear Tony Abbott,firstly, may I say thank you. Thank you so much.Finally, someone with some vision and ability and leadership to take over the portfolio for women.'For too long it's simply been women taking care of other women, and you know women can't take care of other women because we all know wo...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

While stitching a cut hand of a 75 year old farmer, whose hand was caught in the squeeze gate while working his cattle, the local Doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Politicians <as it invariably does these days>...and their role as leaders. The o...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Old Mr. Geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time, became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside thatsaid: "Get your treatment for $500, if not cured get back $1,000."Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know...

June · June

A mother-in-law said to her son's wife when the baby was born: 'I don't mean to be rude but he doesn't look anything like my son' The daughter-in-law lifted her skirt and said: 'I don't mean to be rude either but this is a fanny, not a f...ing photo copier' June C.

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

This is an oldie however I never fail to laugh when I tell it to myself on my own round the prospecting camp fire... A burnt out advertising executive decides he has had enough of the rat race and buys a property wayyy out west..No electricity..no phones..no company. He has read everything he can, an...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Bed time story (Preview) A little girl runs into her parents room and emands that her mother tells her a story. "It's three in the morning , deer say her mother why can't you just go back to bed ?. I tried that mummy but it didn't work Mother sighs and says "I'll tel you what, you jump into bed here with me, and when your fa...	Woody n Sue	0	607	10:36 AM Apr 17, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	Big game hunter (Preview) A big game hunter goes on safarie with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening the wife wakes to find her mother gone. She wakes her husband. He picks up his rifle, and they go looking for her . In a clearing not far from the camp they come upon a chilling sight. The mother-in law is backed up against a tree...	Woody n Sue	0	666	10:31 AM Apr 17, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	The Pastor's salary (Preview) The Pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the pastor's family expanded; so would his pay check.After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold an...	kiwijims	0	777	11:04 AM Apr 16, 2015 by kiwijims
	Lunch (Preview) A group of guys, all aged 40, discussed where they should meet for a reunion lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons Pub in Uxbridge because the waitresses had big breasts and wore mini-skirts. Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should me...	Peter1059	0	742	10:25 AM Apr 16, 2015 by Peter1059
	Cat Stevens (Preview) I saw Cat Stevens at the local Caravan Park yesterday, he was looking a little sad. "Awning has broken" he said, rather dejectedly. -- Edited by petengail on Monday 13th of April 2015 01:16:50 PM	petengail	1	732	06:43 PM Apr 14, 2015 by iana
	Irish Bank Robber (Preview) An Irish bank robber pulls out his gun, points it at the teller, and says "give me all your money or you're geography!" The puzzled teller replies "do you mean to say 'or you're history'? The Irishman yells back "Don't change the subject!!"	Hendo	0	968	03:19 PM Apr 14, 2015 by Hendo
	Perhaps a tad P/Incorrect...... (Preview) I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles, My next pooo could spell disaster....... Went out last night and got really wasted, I woke up this morning next to a large old bird who was snoring and farting....so, at least I managed to get home OK!... The wife's back on the warpath again. She was u...	Goldfinger	0	814	10:08 AM Apr 14, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Poor blooody Irish...and I'm one..... (Preview) Joe says to Paddy : "Close your curtains ta next time ya makin love to your wife Paddy the whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday." Paddy says: "Well ta jokes on them cos I wasn't even at home yesterday.".... Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing n...	Goldfinger	0	1033	03:18 PM Apr 13, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Golfers (Preview) Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a "Hole in one" !!!!!	iana	0	941	11:33 PM Apr 10, 2015 by iana
	Apple purchases..... (Preview) Husband buys his son an iPAD, daughter an iPOD, himself an iPHONE and his wife an iRON. She wasn't impressed even when he explained it can be integrated with the iWASH, iCOOK, and iCLEAN network. This triggered the iNAG service, which totally wiped out the iSHAG function...... Hoo Roo.	Goldfinger	1	797	07:04 PM Apr 10, 2015 by Collo
	Senior in a Sex Shop...... (Preview) A little old lady enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it with white knuckles for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk, "Dooo youuuuu have dilllldoooos?...	Goldfinger	2	953	06:32 PM Apr 10, 2015 by iana
	Dog VS Cat - Diaries (Preview) Ever imagine what it would be like if your pets had diaries? What would your favorite animal friend write about their day, about their life, about you? Dog Diary; 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got...	Possum3	0	962	10:24 AM Apr 10, 2015 by Possum3
	GEORDIE GOLF. (Preview) A Geordie golfer and his wife walked into a dentist's office. The Geordie said to the dentist, "Doc I'm in one hell of a hurry." "I have two mates sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anaesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you...	Goldfinger	1	687	07:13 AM Apr 10, 2015 by Blues Man
	Confessional Box...... (Preview) <With the cooler weather I will be going out gold prospecting again and stop entertaining myself, and possibly boring you,.. in this section>.... A bloke goes into the Confessional Box after years being away from the Church. He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down. There's...	Goldfinger	1	857	07:08 AM Apr 10, 2015 by Blues Man
	11 PEOPLE...ON A ROPE. (Preview) Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter. 10 men and 1 woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided one had to leave, Because otherwise they were all going to fall. They didn't have much time to waste, and weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave...	Goldfinger	0	722	11:42 PM Apr 9, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Geraldine Hickey Melb. Comedy Fest. 2015 - letter to Tony Abbott (Preview) 'Dear Tony Abbott,firstly, may I say thank you. Thank you so much.Finally, someone with some vision and ability and leadership to take over the portfolio for women.'For too long it's simply been women taking care of other women, and you know women can't take care of other women because we all know wo...	Lesley F	0	1767	03:43 PM Apr 9, 2015 by Lesley F
	We all know a few 'Post Turtles'....don't we??...... (Preview) While stitching a cut hand of a 75 year old farmer, whose hand was caught in the squeeze gate while working his cattle, the local Doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Politicians <as it invariably does these days>...and their role as leaders. The o...	Goldfinger	0	664	09:49 AM Apr 8, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Dr. Geezer vs. Dr. Young.. (Preview) Old Mr. Geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time, became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside thatsaid: "Get your treatment for $500, if not cured get back $1,000."Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know...	aussie_paul	1	1237	06:07 PM Apr 7, 2015 by Blues Man
	Mother-in-law (Preview) A mother-in-law said to her son's wife when the baby was born: 'I don't mean to be rude but he doesn't look anything like my son' The daughter-in-law lifted her skirt and said: 'I don't mean to be rude either but this is a fanny, not a f...ing photo copier' June C.	June	1	863	07:25 PM Apr 6, 2015 by Kaid
	The bush party/bash.. (Preview) This is an oldie however I never fail to laugh when I tell it to myself on my own round the prospecting camp fire... A burnt out advertising executive decides he has had enough of the rat race and buys a property wayyy out west..No electricity..no phones..no company. He has read everything he can, an...	Goldfinger	0	743	09:49 PM Apr 5, 2015 by Goldfinger
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