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The duck and the lawyer
(Preview)
THE DUCK AND THE LAWYER A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.The litigator respo...
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Blues Man
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0
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830
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Blonde at the Superbowl
(Preview)
Blonde at the Superbowl A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just cou...
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Joe50
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0
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759
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Amish
(Preview)
An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day. The daughter said to her mother, my hands are freezing cold. The mother replied. Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up.... The daughter did, and her hands warmed up. The next day, the daughter was rid...
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jules47
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3
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986
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billy connolly's routine on a religion
(Preview)
Billy C. has many youtube "hits", but there a particular one that hysterical, about a certain religion. It's quite old, been there for yonks, and over the years I've emailed it to my pals. I was only laughing at it last week, but today when I went searching, it's vanished into the unknown c...
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Lesley F
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2
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2098
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Grey Nomad theme song
(Preview)
https://www.youtube.com/embed/OOgd9hitEAE?rel=0 I think we can all relate to this......
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petengail
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1
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1357
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Framed!
(Preview)
My wife, Julie, had been after me for several weeks to paint the seat on our toilet. Finally, I got around to doing it while Julie was out. After finishing, I left to take Care of another matter before she returned. She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toil...
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jules47
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0
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1002
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Thief in Paris
(Preview)
A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of fuel. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such a...
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brian
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3
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751
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funny comments on the london tube rail lines
(Preview)
http://londonist.com/2015/01/the-funniest-things-youve-heard-tube-drivers-say.php
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Lesley F
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1
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1105
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Pensioners.... :)
(Preview)
Two businessmen in the centre of London were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new shop.As yet, the shop wasnt ready, with only a few shelves set up.One said to the other, I bet any minute now some pensioner is going to walk by, put their face to the window, and ask what were sellingNo sooner wer...
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aussie_paul
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0
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876
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Swap
(Preview)
Went to wife swapping party last night. Got a brand new lawn mower for mine.
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HOOK
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0
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782
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NEVER GIVE UP;
(Preview)
For older people who still like the great outdoors...
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justcruisin01
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3
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1015
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Three Nuns went to heaven
(Preview)
Now these three young Nuns went to do the weekly shopping in Mother Superior's little red Mini Minor. On the way, they got T boned by a Kenworth & they were all killed. Well naturally they went to heaven & got met at the gate by St Peter who welcomed them and told them that because of all the new expe...
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Baggie
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0
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908
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Three Nuns went to heaven
(Preview)
Now these three young Nuns went to do the weekly shopping in Mother Superior's little red Mini Minor. On the way, they got T boned by a Kenworth & they were all killed. Well naturally they went to heaven & got met at the gate by St Peter who welcomed themand told them that because of all the new expe...
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Baggie
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0
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872
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She can’t possibly be mine!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Preview)
After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the obstetrician. Doctor, the man said,I dont mind telling you, but Im a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She cant possibly be mine!Nonsense, the doctor said, Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancesto...
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aussie_paul
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0
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1159
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ManYana
(Preview)
ManYana Spanish singer Julio Iglesias was on UK television with British TV host Anne Diamond. He used the word "manyana" (pronounced "man -yana"). Diamond asked him to explain what it meant. He said that the term means: "Maybe the job will be done tomorrow; Maybe the nex...
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dING
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0
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1502
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The gardener..
(Preview)
A woman was sure that her husband was cheating on her by having an affair with the maid. So she laid down a trap.One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend and didnt tell her husband. That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story: Excuse me my dear, my stomach aches and wen...
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aussie_paul
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0
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1205
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Three guys in Heaven
(Preview)
Three guys died and when St. Peter met them at the pearly gates, he said, "I know that you guys are forgiven because you're here. Before I let you into Heaven, I have to ask you something. You have to have a car in Heaven because Heaven is so big. What kind of car you get will depend on your answer."...
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Delta18
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0
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1122
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This will put your mind at rest
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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1010
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THE FAMILY TREE OF VINCENT VAN GOGH (always pronounced as GO)
(Preview)
His dizzy aunt ----------------------------------------------- Verti Gogh The brother who ate prunes------------------------------- Gotta Gogh The brother who worked at a convenience store ------ Stop N Gogh The grandfather from Yugoslavia ---------------------...
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Palebushman
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1
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962
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Haircut...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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993
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