Just Joking

Possum3 · Possum3

The following is by Douglas Adams of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" fame. "Australia is a very confusing place, taking up a large amount of the bottom half of the planet. It is recognizable from orbit because of many unusual features, including what at first looks like an enorm...

Weevil · Weevil

He's Now a believer ! From now on, I'll believe their is a God .... An Atheist decided to go to a Religious Revival Centre for the first time, to see what it was all about. He sat down and the Preacher came up to him, laid his hands on his hands and said: "By the will of God, you will walk tod...

Peter1059 · Peter1059

I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. "This is the 21st century," she said. "We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad." I can tell you this. That fly never knew what hit him.

Peter1059 · Peter1059

A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they wai...

Peter1059 · Peter1059

Inexperienced Curry Taster

June · June

but a lot of non-living objects are actually male or female. Here are some examples........ FREEZER BAGS: They are male.....because they hold everything in but you can see right through them. PHOTOCOPIERS: They are female....because once turned off it takes a while to warm them up again. TYRE...

Peter1059 · Peter1059

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest o' me life, between the legs o' me wife !" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night ! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of The night." She said, &qu...

Peter1059 · Peter1059

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' 'Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner o...

Peter1059 · Peter1059

NEVER CHEAT ON A SASKATCHEWAN WOMAN! A country wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With super-human strength, borne of fury, and cutting firewood, lifting sacks of feed, and bales of hay, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door and into the barn. She p...

Peter1059 · Peter1059

In parochial school students are taught that lying is a sin. However, instructors also advised that using a bit of imagination was OK to express the truth differently without lying. Below is a perfect example of those teachings: Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs. An attractive young woman on a...

Magnarc · Magnarc

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door? 'The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled...

Magnarc · Magnarc

I was sitting on a bench in the park next to a homeless man, I asked him how he ended up this way.He said: Up until Last week, I still had it all!!! A cook, cooked my meals, my room was cleaned, my clothes were washed, pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had TV, internet, I went to the gym, the pool, the library,...

Yarra · Yarra

A teacher asks her class , "can anyone tell me who is Robin Hood's girlfriend ??" Little Paddy raises his hand and say's " yes miss, its Trudy Glen !!! " "No Paddy the answer is Maid Marian !!" " But miss, what about the song??, "Robin hood, Robin hood, R...

Hey Jim · Hey Jim

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

This is what football players did to keep fit back in the days before big money spoilt the game

Weevil · Weevil

Daughter to Father: "Dad there is something that my boyfriend said to me, that I didn't understand. He said that I have a beautiful chassis, lovely airbags and a fantastic bumper." Father's response: "Tell your boyfriend that if he opens your bonnet and tries to check your oil with h...

Weevil · Weevil

-- Edited by Weevil on Sunday 7th of June 2015 01:19:54 AM

Weevil · Weevil

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

There is a medical distinction between "Guts" and "Balls"... We've all heard friends and colleagues referring to people with "Guts", or with "Balls". Do they, however really know the difference between them? Here's the 'official' distinction; st...

Hey Jim · Hey Jim

A Priest was driving along in his car and see's a Nun walk on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift, which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs., forcing the habit to open and reveal a leg. The priest looks and nearly has an accident, and after changing gear lets his hand slide up he...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Funny and accurate (Preview) The following is by Douglas Adams of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" fame. "Australia is a very confusing place, taking up a large amount of the bottom half of the planet. It is recognizable from orbit because of many unusual features, including what at first looks like an enorm...	Possum3	1	830	07:02 PM Jun 11, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	He's Now A Believer.... (Preview) *He's Now a believer !* From now on, I'll believe their is a God .... An Atheist decided to go to a Religious Revival Centre for the first time, to see what it was all about. He sat down and the Preacher came up to him, laid his hands on his hands and said: "By the will of God, you will walk tod...	Weevil	1	1674	05:22 PM Jun 11, 2015 by JRH
	IPAD (Preview) I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. "This is the 21st century," she said. "We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad." I can tell you this. That fly never knew what hit him.	Peter1059	0	691	04:59 PM Jun 10, 2015 by Peter1059
	Never be Late (Preview) A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they wai...	Peter1059	0	640	04:55 PM Jun 10, 2015 by Peter1059
	Inexperienced Curry Taster (Preview) Inexperienced Curry Taster	Peter1059	1	862	09:02 AM Jun 10, 2015 by navynurse
	You might not know this..... (Preview) but a lot of non-living objects are actually male or female. Here are some examples........ FREEZER BAGS: They are male.....because they hold everything in but you can see right through them. PHOTOCOPIERS: They are female....because once turned off it takes a while to warm them up again. TYRE...	June	1	712	07:20 PM Jun 9, 2015 by Felicia
	The Best Toast (Preview) John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest o' me life, between the legs o' me wife !" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night ! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of The night." She said, &qu...	Peter1059	0	818	05:09 PM Jun 9, 2015 by Peter1059
	Thank you Father (Preview) 'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' 'Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner o...	Peter1059	0	539	04:21 PM Jun 9, 2015 by Peter1059
	Never Cheat (Preview) NEVER CHEAT ON A SASKATCHEWAN WOMAN! A country wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With super-human strength, borne of fury, and cutting firewood, lifting sacks of feed, and bales of hay, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door and into the barn. She p...	Peter1059	0	671	04:16 PM Jun 9, 2015 by Peter1059
	Never Lie (Preview) In parochial school students are taught that lying is a sin. However, instructors also advised that using a bit of imagination was OK to express the truth differently without lying. Below is a perfect example of those teachings: Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs. An attractive young woman on a...	Peter1059	0	581	04:11 PM Jun 9, 2015 by Peter1059
	Could happen to anyone! (Preview) The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door? 'The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled...	Magnarc	0	648	03:29 PM Jun 9, 2015 by Magnarc
	Aint this the truth!!!!! (Preview) I was sitting on a bench in the park next to a homeless man, I asked him how he ended up this way.He said: Up until Last week, I still had it all!!! A cook, cooked my meals, my room was cleaned, my clothes were washed, pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had TV, internet, I went to the gym, the pool, the library,...	Magnarc	0	519	03:27 PM Jun 9, 2015 by Magnarc
	Robin Hood (Preview) A teacher asks her class , "can anyone tell me who is Robin Hood's girlfriend ??" Little Paddy raises his hand and say's " yes miss, its Trudy Glen !!! " "No Paddy the answer is Maid Marian !!" " But miss, what about the song??, "Robin hood, Robin hood, R...	Yarra	1	707	10:49 AM Jun 9, 2015 by Baz421
	D BOSS (Preview)	Hey Jim	1	676	09:46 PM Jun 8, 2015 by helnev
	Keep fit to play on the weekend (Preview) This is what football players did to keep fit back in the days before big money spoilt the game	Wombat 280	1	617	09:40 PM Jun 8, 2015 by helnev
	Daughter/Father.....(Caution - Could Offend Some) (Preview) Daughter to Father: "Dad there is something that my boyfriend said to me, that I didn't understand. He said that I have a beautiful chassis, lovely airbags and a fantastic bumper." Father's response: "Tell your boyfriend that if he opens your bonnet and tries to check your oil with h...	Weevil	3	1048	09:39 PM Jun 8, 2015 by helnev
	Deleted... (Preview) -- Edited by Weevil on Sunday 7th of June 2015 01:19:54 AM	Weevil	5	2865	09:44 AM Jun 7, 2015 by 2weis
	16 Reasons Why Planes Are Easier To Live With Than Women... (Preview)	Weevil	0	752	12:29 PM Jun 6, 2015 by Weevil
	"Guts" & "Balls?" (Preview) There is a medical distinction between "Guts" and "Balls"... We've all heard friends and colleagues referring to people with "Guts", or with "Balls". Do they, however really know the difference between them? Here's the 'official' distinction; st...	Goldfinger	2	1658	05:27 PM Jun 5, 2015 by Hey Jim
	"FATHER PLEASE" (Preview) A Priest was driving along in his car and see's a Nun walk on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift, which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs., forcing the habit to open and reveal a leg. The priest looks and nearly has an accident, and after changing gear lets his hand slide up he...	Hey Jim	1	877	07:35 PM Jun 4, 2015 by helnev
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