|
Logical thinking Sexagenarian........
(Preview)
A Circus owner runs an advert for a 'Lion Tamer Wanted'...and two people turn up. One is a sexagenarian in his late 60's and the other is a drop-dead gorgeous brunette with a killer body in her mid twenties... The Circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it, this is one ferocious lion, h...
|
Goldfinger
|
0
|
766
|
|
|
|
|
A very brief yet profound observation......on Life
(Preview)
LIFE. This is perhaps the most profound observation I have heard in recent times: "Life is like a penis - simple, relaxed and hanging free........ it's women who make it hard". Amen......
|
Goldfinger
|
0
|
904
|
|
|
|
|
First contribution
(Preview)
As we slowly move through (or into) retirement, we need to keep ourselves occupied with small projects.Like this guy! I know, I saw it right away too.... No safety glasses or hearing protection. And I caught something else that is really important: He has no gloves on...
|
Snatchem
|
0
|
1022
|
|
|
|
|
Eating in the 50's
(Preview)
· Pasta was not eaten in Australia. · Curry was a surname. · A takeaway was a mathematical problem. · A pizza was something to do with a leaning tower. · All potato chips were plain; the only choice we had was whether to put the salt on or not. · ...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
758
|
|
|
|
|
Bill and Hiliary Clinton kitchen set
(Preview)
-- Edited by Lesley F on Wednesday 25th of February 2015 10:27:55 PM -- Edited by Lesley F on Wednesday 25th of February 2015 10:31:34 PM
|
Lesley F
|
3
|
1229
|
|
|
|
|
Didn't last at new job
(Preview)
After landing my new job as a Bunnings "Greeter" - a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day . . . . . About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting Bogan babe walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
911
|
|
|
|
|
Shouldn't be a long sentence.....
(Preview)
I was sent to prison, and I said to my cell mate, "I won't be in here long." He replied........ "Well the Judge did give you 6 years". "Yeah I know, but I'm certain my wife will break me out, she's never ever let me finish a bloody sentence before"........ Hoo Roo
|
Goldfinger
|
0
|
787
|
|
|
|
|
SMS Spell Check......
(Preview)
SMS Received...... Hi Bob, This is Alan next door. I'm sorry neighbour, but I have a confession to make to you. I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face but I am at least now telling in text as I can't live with myself a moment lon...
|
Goldfinger
|
0
|
972
|
|
|
|
|
A marriage in Heaven!
(Preview)
<Since we are all in a Religious/Marriage mood I'll relate this tale> On their way to Church to get married, a young Christian couple were tragically involved in a fatal car accident. Being good Christians the young couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Pet...
|
Goldfinger
|
1
|
1050
|
|
|
|
|
Three Dogs At The Vets Reception
(Preview)
Three dogs waiting to see Vet in the reception lounge , A little Fox Terrier, a Bull terrier and a Big Rottwheiler. All three sitting there imaptiantly waiting and occasionally looking over at each other without saying a word till it gets too much for them!! , then suddenly the Rottwheiler looksat the...
|
Papou
|
0
|
796
|
|
|
|
|
The Aisle, the Altar, the Hymn....
(Preview)
Through the ages, men have been trying to unlock this mystery: Why do their wives, who accept them just as they are before they get married, begin the quest to change their behaviour and life-style once their vows are exchanged? Finally, the riddle is solved. A social-scientist has arrived at t...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
943
|
|
|
|
|
Silent Treatment
(Preview)
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a thing. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically 'Relatives of yours?' 'Yep' the wife repl...
|
June
|
3
|
849
|
|
|
|
|
The drought
(Preview)
it is good to see that some areas of Qld. Are getting a little bit of rain. A mate of mine lives in a really dry area. A boy aged 7 had never in his life seen rain. When it did start to rain, he fainted. They had to throw a bucket of dust over him to revive him. Teo. Prado & 16 ft Avan pop top.
|
Teo
|
2
|
859
|
|
|
|
|
Beautiful and Stupid
(Preview)
A man said to his wife one day 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time'. The wife responded 'allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me. God made me stupid so I would be attracted to YOU'.
|
June
|
1
|
1007
|
|
|
|
|
Story from an Irish Sunday School Teacher
(Preview)
I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class, to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. I asked them, If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?' 'NO!' the children answered. 'If I cleaned...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
819
|
|
|
|
|
...only 24 hours to live.....
(Preview)
A man returns from his doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this awful prognosis the man asks his wife for a bit of rumpy pumpy.... Naturally she agrees and they make gentle love..... About six hours later the husband goes to his wife and says, "Hon...
|
Goldfinger
|
0
|
780
|
|
|
|
|
Little Johnny
(Preview)
Little Johnny went for a stay on Grandma & Grandpa's farm. First morning Johnny went off with his Pop on the tractor for the day with sandwiches and a thermos of tea for lunch. They were out all day and when they got back Grandpa told Johnny to go into the house while he put the tractor away and did som...
|
Brownie2
|
0
|
820
|
|
|
|
|
Understanding Women - by a man
(Preview)
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the roots and still be afraid of a spider.
|
June
|
0
|
750
|
|
|
|
|
Where did you hide that?!!!!!
(Preview)
This short clip may have been around before but I still get a laugh out of it.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSw4CLV14sQ
|
petengail
|
1
|
885
|
|
|
|
|
Dedicated to all us Seniors.....
(Preview)
...."WHERE is my SUNDAY PAPER?" .......the very irate elderly lady calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was... "Madam", said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on S...
|
Goldfinger
|
0
|
778
|
|
|
