Just Joking

Lesley F · Lesley F

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpBYnL5fAXE

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days. A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Guinness?" The shop assistant asks, "Are you Irish?" The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something, If I had asked for Italian saus...

Possum3 · Possum3

As the coffin of a Parking Officer was being lowered into the grave, a voice from inside the coffin screams, Im not dead! Im not dead! Let me out. Let me out. The Vicar smiles, leans forward and, sucking air through his teeth, mutters, Too late, mate. Ive already done the paperwork.

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work. His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in."My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done,I'm still in my pyjamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight....

kiwijims · kiwijims

K.J.

kiwijims · kiwijims

Ten Times Normal Size The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class,"Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?" No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, "You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I'm going t...

Yarra · Yarra

Possum3 · Possum3

I thought this was worth posting

Baggie · Baggie

A teacher gives the class some "life savers", the candy with the hole. The children identify the flavors by their colours Red is Cherry Yellow is Lemon Green is Lime Orange is Orange Finally the teacher gave them all honey lifesavers. None of the kids could identify the taste. The teacher...

Hendo · Hendo

Shane and Phil were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft engineers in Melbourne, Australia. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Phil said, 'Man, I wish we had something to drink!' Shane says, 'Me too. Y'know, I've heard you c...

rockylizard · rockylizard

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

Working people frequently ask us, as a retired couple, what we do to make our days interesting. Well, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about five minutes. When we came out, there was a policeman writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and sa...

Aus-Kiwi · Aus-Kiwi

Since I'm getting it it isn't .. But ahh !

Yarra · Yarra

A little boy comes down to breakfast.Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores.Not yet," said the little boy.His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.Well, he's a little teed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken.He goes to feed the...

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

Recently a routine police patrol was parked outside a bar in the Outback. After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seeme...

Yarra · Yarra

So this retired guy sits around the house all day wife says, You could do something useful, like vacuum the house once a week. Guy gives it a moments thought and says, Sure why not show me to the vacuum. Half an hour later, the guy comes into the kitchen to get some coffee. Wife says, I did not hear the vacuum...

Lesley F · Lesley F

https://vimeo.com/24341019 Warning, this may be too extreme for this forum, but I bet you laughed!!!!!! -- Edited by Lesley F on Sunday 22nd of November 2015 01:29:37 PM

Vince · Vince

Not really a joke....but it might be to some if you are probably warming up for exercise Link below https://youtu.be/jZ572yLH9sc

dishlicker · dishlicker

Dear Jaclyn I am shortly to become engaged to a wonderful man. My psychiatrist tells me that an open, honest relationship is the foundation of a happy marriage. But there are a few things about my family that are difficult to raise in conversation. For instance, my father is a drug dealer and touches u...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Adam Hills on Australian accents - very funny (Preview) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpBYnL5fAXE	Lesley F	0	716	01:13 PM Dec 2, 2015 by Lesley F
	Racism.. (Preview) Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days. A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Guinness?" The shop assistant asks, "Are you Irish?" The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something, If I had asked for Italian saus...	aussie_paul	1	939	05:50 PM Dec 1, 2015 by Bryan
	Too late. (Preview) As the coffin of a Parking Officer was being lowered into the grave, a voice from inside the coffin screams, Im not dead! Im not dead! Let me out. Let me out. The Vicar smiles, leans forward and, sucking air through his teeth, mutters, Too late, mate. Ive already done the paperwork.	Possum3	0	751	10:47 AM Dec 1, 2015 by Possum3
	Sorry (Preview) A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it...	Young Simmo	1	970	10:09 AM Dec 1, 2015 by Possum3
	A man brings his best buddy home for dinner (Preview) A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work. His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in."My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done,I'm still in my pyjamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight....	aussie_paul	0	1003	11:52 AM Nov 30, 2015 by aussie_paul
	incorrect statements (Preview) K.J.	kiwijims	0	1029	06:31 PM Nov 29, 2015 by kiwijims
	little girl with a dirty mind (Preview) Ten Times Normal Size The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class,"Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?" No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, "You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I'm going t...	kiwijims	0	884	06:13 PM Nov 29, 2015 by kiwijims
	Preggers (Preview)	Yarra	0	828	03:52 PM Nov 29, 2015 by Yarra
	She will soon (Preview) I thought this was worth posting	Possum3	2	1073	04:47 PM Nov 26, 2015 by erad
	Lifesavers. (Preview) A teacher gives the class some "life savers", the candy with the hole. The children identify the flavors by their colours Red is Cherry Yellow is Lemon Green is Lime Orange is Orange Finally the teacher gave them all honey lifesavers. None of the kids could identify the taste. The teacher...	Baggie	1	893	07:37 AM Nov 26, 2015 by 03_Troopy
	Jet Fuel (Preview) Shane and Phil were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft engineers in Melbourne, Australia. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Phil said, 'Man, I wish we had something to drink!' Shane says, 'Me too. Y'know, I've heard you c...	Hendo	0	858	07:11 AM Nov 26, 2015 by Hendo
	Why not ! ? ! (Preview)	rockylizard	0	902	07:06 AM Nov 26, 2015 by rockylizard
	Winners are Grinners. (Preview) Working people frequently ask us, as a retired couple, what we do to make our days interesting. Well, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about five minutes. When we came out, there was a policeman writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and sa...	Young Simmo	1	1227	11:17 AM Nov 25, 2015 by 03_Troopy
	Some how not funny .. (Preview) Since I'm getting it it isn't .. But ahh !	Aus-Kiwi	1	858	08:50 PM Nov 24, 2015 by Baz421
	Farm Life (Preview) A little boy comes down to breakfast.Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores.Not yet," said the little boy.His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.Well, he's a little teed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken.He goes to feed the...	Yarra	0	1145	09:05 AM Nov 24, 2015 by Yarra
	Not new but, worth a repeat (Preview) Recently a routine police patrol was parked outside a bar in the Outback. After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seeme...	Young Simmo	0	962	02:29 PM Nov 23, 2015 by Young Simmo
	Not the sharpest pencil in the box (Preview) So this retired guy sits around the house all day wife says, You could do something useful, like vacuum the house once a week. Guy gives it a moments thought and says, Sure why not show me to the vacuum. Half an hour later, the guy comes into the kitchen to get some coffee. Wife says, I did not hear the vacuum...	Yarra	1	1245	02:16 PM Nov 23, 2015 by Young Simmo
	billy connolly's view on Muslims (Preview) https://vimeo.com/24341019 Warning, this may be too extreme for this forum, but I bet you laughed!!!!!! -- Edited by Lesley F on Sunday 22nd of November 2015 01:29:37 PM	Lesley F	2	1241	01:50 PM Nov 23, 2015 by 03_Troopy
	leg warm up exercise (Preview) Not really a joke....but it might be to some if you are probably warming up for exercise Link below https://youtu.be/jZ572yLH9sc	Vince	3	968	12:26 AM Nov 23, 2015 by Vince
	Dear Jaclyn & Heidi (G N M Times) (Preview) Dear Jaclyn I am shortly to become engaged to a wonderful man. My psychiatrist tells me that an open, honest relationship is the foundation of a happy marriage. But there are a few things about my family that are difficult to raise in conversation. For instance, my father is a drug dealer and touches u...	dishlicker	0	806	01:56 AM Nov 22, 2015 by dishlicker
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