Just Joking

Weevil · Weevil

Daughter to Father: "Dad there is something that my boyfriend said to me, that I didn't understand. He said that I have a beautiful chassis, lovely airbags and a fantastic bumper." Father's response: "Tell your boyfriend that if he opens your bonnet and tries to check your oil with h...

Weevil · Weevil

-- Edited by Weevil on Sunday 7th of June 2015 01:19:54 AM

Weevil · Weevil

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

There is a medical distinction between "Guts" and "Balls"... We've all heard friends and colleagues referring to people with "Guts", or with "Balls". Do they, however really know the difference between them? Here's the 'official' distinction; st...

Hey Jim · Hey Jim

A Priest was driving along in his car and see's a Nun walk on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift, which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs., forcing the habit to open and reveal a leg. The priest looks and nearly has an accident, and after changing gear lets his hand slide up he...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Presently I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles. Therefore every day, I go down the street and tell every passer by what I have eaten, how I feel, what I have done the night before, and what I will do after, I give them pictures of my family, my wife, my daughter...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

A young Catholic Girl went to Confession and said to the Priest, "Father I'm pregnant." He asked, "How did this happen my child?" She replied, "I tink it must have been the Second Coming Father".... The Priest is shocked by this reply, and asked, "What makes yo...

Weevil · Weevil

http://www.toilette-humor.com/funny_adult_humor/one_last_kiss.shtml

Possum3 · Possum3

Two police officers, responding to a domestic disturbance with shots fired, arrived on the scene and, after discovering the wife had shot her husband for walking across her freshly mopped floor, they called their sergeant. Hello, Sarge? Yes. It looks like we have a homicide here. What h...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

A young fellow a was angry as he had it in his head that someone had stolen his wallet so he dicided to get revenge and steel someone else's wallet . He thought his best chance would be in church during mass, when everyone would be facing the altar and would be preoccupied in prayer and not notice . He went to...

Yarra · Yarra

Desperate to use a payphone, a visitor to town searched high and low, and when he eventually found one, it was already occupied. Hoping that the man inside the kiosk wouldn't be long, the visitor waited impatiently outside, constantly looking at his watch. In an attempt to convey a sense of urgency,...

Magnarc · Magnarc

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck." "I see your eyes are working," replies the duck. "And you can talk!" Exclaims the barman. "I see your ears are working, too," Says...

Peter1059 · Peter1059

We were dressed and ready to go out for a dinner and theatre evening. We turned on a 'night light', turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parrot and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local taxi company and requested a cab.The taxi arrived, and we opened the front door to leave the ho...

Hey Jim · Hey Jim

The Teacher: asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today jimmy." Jimmy replied crying. " Because I heard my Daddy tell my Mommy." . . . . . . 'I am going to eat that P...ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today.'

Yarra · Yarra

Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland ) Dear Mum & Dad,I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell t...

Weevil · Weevil

A dog lover, whose dog was a female and in heat, agreed to look after her neighbours' male dog while the neighbours were on vacation. She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds, rushed dow...

Weevil · Weevil

Why I Call Him Honey........... An elderly lady was invited to an old friends home for dinner one evening.She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband with endearing terms such as:Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. The couple had been married almo...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

An airhead walked into a novelty store. She saw a shiny thermosand asked the clerk what it was. The clerk said, "It's a thermos. Itkeeps cold things cold and hot things hot." The airhead was soimpressed, she bought one. She got home, and could not wait toshow off her new thermos to her co-wor...

Lesley F · Lesley F

Yarra · Yarra

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.The first man was an Engineer, The second man was an Accountant, The third man was a Chemist, and The fourth man was a Government Employee.To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff."T-square pranced over t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Daughter/Father.....(Caution - Could Offend Some) (Preview) Daughter to Father: "Dad there is something that my boyfriend said to me, that I didn't understand. He said that I have a beautiful chassis, lovely airbags and a fantastic bumper." Father's response: "Tell your boyfriend that if he opens your bonnet and tries to check your oil with h...	Weevil	3	1027	09:39 PM Jun 8, 2015 by helnev
	Deleted... (Preview) -- Edited by Weevil on Sunday 7th of June 2015 01:19:54 AM	Weevil	5	2727	09:44 AM Jun 7, 2015 by 2weis
	16 Reasons Why Planes Are Easier To Live With Than Women... (Preview)	Weevil	0	720	12:29 PM Jun 6, 2015 by Weevil
	"Guts" & "Balls?" (Preview) There is a medical distinction between "Guts" and "Balls"... We've all heard friends and colleagues referring to people with "Guts", or with "Balls". Do they, however really know the difference between them? Here's the 'official' distinction; st...	Goldfinger	2	1599	05:27 PM Jun 5, 2015 by Hey Jim
	"FATHER PLEASE" (Preview) A Priest was driving along in his car and see's a Nun walk on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift, which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs., forcing the habit to open and reveal a leg. The priest looks and nearly has an accident, and after changing gear lets his hand slide up he...	Hey Jim	1	856	07:35 PM Jun 4, 2015 by helnev
	Friends without Facebook..... (Preview) Presently I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles. Therefore every day, I go down the street and tell every passer by what I have eaten, how I feel, what I have done the night before, and what I will do after, I give them pictures of my family, my wife, my daughter...	Goldfinger	0	722	04:09 PM Jun 4, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Confession!!...... (Preview) A young Catholic Girl went to Confession and said to the Priest, "Father I'm pregnant." He asked, "How did this happen my child?" She replied, "I tink it must have been the Second Coming Father".... The Priest is shocked by this reply, and asked, "What makes yo...	Goldfinger	1	790	08:19 PM Jun 3, 2015 by helnev
	One Last Kiss (For the blokes - Sound On !) (Preview) http://www.toilette-humor.com/funny_adult_humor/one_last_kiss.shtml	Weevil	4	1011	08:09 PM Jun 3, 2015 by helnev
	The homicide (Preview) Two police officers, responding to a domestic disturbance with shots fired, arrived on the scene and, after discovering the wife had shot her husband for walking across her freshly mopped floor, they called their sergeant. Hello, Sarge? Yes. It looks like we have a homicide here. What h...	Possum3	0	804	10:28 AM Jun 3, 2015 by Possum3
	Change of heart (Preview) A young fellow a was angry as he had it in his head that someone had stolen his wallet so he dicided to get revenge and steel someone else's wallet . He thought his best chance would be in church during mass, when everyone would be facing the altar and would be preoccupied in prayer and not notice . He went to...	Woody n Sue	0	656	06:53 PM Jun 2, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	Desperate to use a payphone (Preview) Desperate to use a payphone, a visitor to town searched high and low, and when he eventually found one, it was already occupied. Hoping that the man inside the kiosk wouldn't be long, the visitor waited impatiently outside, constantly looking at his watch. In an attempt to convey a sense of urgency,...	Yarra	0	824	04:28 PM Jun 2, 2015 by Yarra
	Duck soup (Preview) A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck." "I see your eyes are working," replies the duck. "And you can talk!" Exclaims the barman. "I see your ears are working, too," Says...	Magnarc	0	856	01:37 PM Jun 2, 2015 by Magnarc
	Why we shouldn't lie – a great story (Preview) We were dressed and ready to go out for a dinner and theatre evening. We turned on a 'night light', turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parrot and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local taxi company and requested a cab.The taxi arrived, and we opened the front door to leave the ho...	Peter1059	0	830	09:26 AM Jun 2, 2015 by Peter1059
	Whats For Breakface (Preview) The Teacher: asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today jimmy." Jimmy replied crying. " Because I heard my Daddy tell my Mommy." . . . . . . 'I am going to eat that P...ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today.'	Hey Jim	2	741	04:39 PM Jun 1, 2015 by helnev
	Life in the Australian Army (Preview) Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland ) Dear Mum & Dad,I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell t...	Yarra	3	998	03:34 PM Jun 1, 2015 by Ontos45
	Dog Carer... (Preview) A dog lover, whose dog was a female and in heat, agreed to look after her neighbours' male dog while the neighbours were on vacation. She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds, rushed dow...	Weevil	0	660	03:30 PM Jun 1, 2015 by Weevil
	Why I Call Him Honey.... (Preview) Why I Call Him Honey........... An elderly lady was invited to an old friends home for dinner one evening.She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband with endearing terms such as:Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. The couple had been married almo...	Weevil	0	820	08:04 AM Jun 1, 2015 by Weevil
	How to use a thermos or perhaps not (Preview) An airhead walked into a novelty store. She saw a shiny thermosand asked the clerk what it was. The clerk said, "It's a thermos. Itkeeps cold things cold and hot things hot." The airhead was soimpressed, she bought one. She got home, and could not wait toshow off her new thermos to her co-wor...	Woody n Sue	0	649	08:02 AM Jun 1, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	why did the chicken cross the road!! (Preview)	Lesley F	0	725	03:56 PM May 31, 2015 by Lesley F
	The Four Cats (Preview) Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.The first man was an Engineer, The second man was an Accountant, The third man was a Chemist, and The fourth man was a Government Employee.To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff."T-square pranced over t...	Yarra	0	620	09:59 AM May 31, 2015 by Yarra
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