Just Joking

kiwijims · kiwijims

A couple of "Snowbirds" in Florida. Senior moment! A situation calling for restraint. . . . Look again!These are the backs of the bar stools. WELL, it stunned me for a few moments --"Got to get these glasses fixed! " K.J. -- Edited by kiwijims on Tuesday 25th of August 2015 0...

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

Australian Barber An old drover walks into a barber shop in Black Stump Crossing, Northern Territories, for a shave and a haircut. He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the o...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

The Senior Citizen Cheer! What do we want? Better memory! When do we want it? Want what? Aussie Paul.

Magnarc · Magnarc

In the UK recently they had a major road safety campaign. The slogan was "Wear white be seen at night" One of the locals decided to do the right thing so went out and got white shoes, white socks, white trousers, white shirt, white jacket, white tie and white hat. Donned his white togs that nig...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Plain Truth · Plain Truth

A Giraffe walked up to the bar and said "the highballs are on me" A Termite walked up to the bar and said "Where's the Bartender"

Yarra · Yarra

On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife.The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction. The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man.The ol...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

1....Rearrange these letters to form words: 1. PNEIS 2. BUTTSXE Sooooooooo, did you get 'SPINE'....and 'SUBTEXT'..?...<like I did> What do you mean you didn't.....?......what on earth are you pre-occupied with?.......... 2.Can you name three consecutive days withou...

Baggie · Baggie

Old Arthur went to the urologist for his annual prostate test, when he got to the surgery, the waiting room was filled so he made his way to the receptionist who was not at all attractive, built like a brick dunny & had a personality like a pregnant shark. He went up to her & gave his name. She repli...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

So there is this guy who thinks his wife is cheating on him, so one night he waits for her to leave then follows her in a taxi, only to find she is working in a brothel. So he says to the taxi driver " do you want to make $100 " sure says the driver what do I have to do. Just go in to the brothel and grab my...

dING · dING

The lady was a southern woman who attended church services and taught Sunday School every week. One Sunday, an out of town acquaintance, a gentleman, was in the pew right behind her. He noted what a fine looking woman she was. While they were taking up the collection, the man leaned forward and said, ?H...

Hendo · Hendo

The lawyer says to the wealthy art collector tycoon. "I have some good news and I have some bad news...." The tycoon replies, "I've had an awful day, let's hear the good news first." The lawyer says: "Well, your wife invested $5,000 in two pictures this week that she figure...

Ontos45 · Ontos45

dorian · dorian

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hund...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

.........A woman had been a prostitute for 4 years and was worried about the 'size' of her vagina on her wedding night..... Accordingly she decided to tell her newly wed husband that she had caught it on barbed wire when climbing over a farmer's fence... After their first consummating tryst, the subj...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Hunter was 4 years old and was staying with his Grandfather for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked, "Grandpa, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?" His Grandpa was a little take...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

After having their 11th child, an Irish couple decided that that was enough, as they couldnt afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didnt want to have any more children The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem b...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

The sombre funeral procession pulled into the cemetery....Several carloads of family members followed a black Dual Cab Ute, towing the tinny with its outboard attached, and with a coffin <centre stage> secured across the tinny's seats.... A passer-by remarked, "That bloke...

nimrod · nimrod

Deserved it!

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Snowbirds (Preview) A couple of "Snowbirds" in Florida. Senior moment! A situation calling for restraint. . . . Look again!These are the backs of the bar stools. WELL, it stunned me for a few moments --"Got to get these glasses fixed! " K.J. -- Edited by kiwijims on Tuesday 25th of August 2015 0...	kiwijims	10	1374	09:49 PM Aug 25, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	Australian Barber... (Preview) Australian Barber An old drover walks into a barber shop in Black Stump Crossing, Northern Territories, for a shave and a haircut. He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the o...	Gunsondeck	3	1080	06:33 PM Aug 25, 2015 by Felicia
	Who remembers protests over the years? (Preview) The Senior Citizen Cheer! What do we want? Better memory! When do we want it? Want what? Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	1	773	06:30 PM Aug 25, 2015 by Felicia
	Good citizen (Preview) In the UK recently they had a major road safety campaign. The slogan was "Wear white be seen at night" One of the locals decided to do the right thing so went out and got white shoes, white socks, white trousers, white shirt, white jacket, white tie and white hat. Donned his white togs that nig...	Magnarc	2	1008	09:43 AM Aug 25, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	Never tell porkies to a kid (Preview)	Woody n Sue	1	756	06:11 PM Aug 24, 2015 by Felicia
	animal joke (Preview) A Giraffe walked up to the bar and said "the highballs are on me" A Termite walked up to the bar and said "Where's the Bartender"	Plain Truth	0	689	05:42 PM Aug 23, 2015 by Plain Truth
	SEX AND GOOD GRAMMAR (Preview) On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife.The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction. The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man.The ol...	Yarra	2	1028	05:36 PM Aug 23, 2015 by Plain Truth
	Word Fun...... (Preview) 1....Rearrange these letters to form words: 1. PNEIS 2. BUTTSXE Sooooooooo, did you get 'SPINE'....and 'SUBTEXT'..?...<like I did> What do you mean you didn't.....?......what on earth are you pre-occupied with?.......... 2.Can you name three consecutive days withou...	Goldfinger	0	733	03:44 PM Aug 23, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Prostate exam (Preview) Old Arthur went to the urologist for his annual prostate test, when he got to the surgery, the waiting room was filled so he made his way to the receptionist who was not at all attractive, built like a brick dunny & had a personality like a pregnant shark. He went up to her & gave his name. She repli...	Baggie	0	674	09:16 AM Aug 23, 2015 by Baggie
	This guy thought his wife was cheating on him (Preview) So there is this guy who thinks his wife is cheating on him, so one night he waits for her to leave then follows her in a taxi, only to find she is working in a brothel. So he says to the taxi driver " do you want to make $100 " sure says the driver what do I have to do. Just go in to the brothel and grab my...	Woody n Sue	0	832	08:09 PM Aug 20, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	The Sunday school teacher (Preview) The lady was a southern woman who attended church services and taught Sunday School every week. One Sunday, an out of town acquaintance, a gentleman, was in the pew right behind her. He noted what a fine looking woman she was. While they were taking up the collection, the man leaned forward and said, ?H...	dING	0	843	06:18 PM Aug 19, 2015 by dING
	Joke of the Week SMH (Preview) The lawyer says to the wealthy art collector tycoon. "I have some good news and I have some bad news...." The tycoon replies, "I've had an awful day, let's hear the good news first." The lawyer says: "Well, your wife invested $5,000 in two pictures this week that she figure...	Hendo	1	1044	05:33 PM Aug 17, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	A XXXX joke sensitive people don't look but funny (Preview)	Ontos45	0	1027	04:34 PM Aug 14, 2015 by Ontos45
	Love and teddy bears (Preview) A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hund...	dorian	0	841	08:42 AM Aug 14, 2015 by dorian
	As related by an old Prospector round the camp fire.....it's off colour....but romantic...I guess... (Preview) .........A woman had been a prostitute for 4 years and was worried about the 'size' of her vagina on her wedding night..... Accordingly she decided to tell her newly wed husband that she had caught it on barbed wire when climbing over a farmer's fence... After their first consummating tryst, the subj...	Goldfinger	0	888	02:32 PM Aug 13, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Old but still a good one.... (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	1	925	11:05 AM Aug 13, 2015 by 03_Troopy
	Grandfathers Don't Always Know Everything.... (Preview) Hunter was 4 years old and was staying with his Grandfather for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked, "Grandpa, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?" His Grandpa was a little take...	Goldfinger	1	743	06:58 PM Aug 11, 2015 by Felicia
	The Irish vasectomy... (Preview) After having their 11th child, an Irish couple decided that that was enough, as they couldnt afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didnt want to have any more children The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem b...	aussie_paul	5	1091	01:31 PM Aug 11, 2015 by aussie_paul
	Must have liked to fish......... (Preview) The sombre funeral procession pulled into the cemetery....Several carloads of family members followed a black Dual Cab Ute, towing the tinny with its outboard attached, and with a coffin <centre stage> secured across the tinny's seats.... A passer-by remarked, "That bloke...	Goldfinger	1	815	11:07 AM Aug 10, 2015 by aussie_paul
	I walked into a bar (Preview) Deserved it!	nimrod	1	907	12:51 AM Aug 10, 2015 by Joe50
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