Just Joking

Woody2 · Woody2

An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. 'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds. When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lbs...

Moorey · Moorey

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello." "Mrs. Sanders, please." "Speaking." "Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well... We are now uncertain...

gumpybsc · gumpybsc

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

goldfinger · goldfinger

A woman asks her husband at breakfast time.. "Would you like some crispy bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee"?.. He declines..."Thanks for asking love, but I'm not real hungry right now...its this Viagra..it's really taken the edge off my appetite."... At l...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Read it all the way through! It's a good laugh! AND really quite true!!A good laugh for people in the over 70 group !!!When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music,takes videos, pictures and communicates with Fac...

rockylizard · rockylizard

Gday... Cheers - John

Woody2 · Woody2

Airline Announcements: United Flight Attendant announced, 'People, people, we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!' ************ ********* ********* ******* On landing, the stewardess said, 'Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to lea...

Yarra · Yarra

The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain." "So what happened that is so horrible?" the man asked. The farmer then decides to try an answer, "Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked it over.""That's no...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

This message is forwarded as a community service! No political bias intended. Einstein developed this remarkable theory: Energy = Mass x Speed of Light squared....... A brilliant genius as we all know. A lesser known application of Einstein's formula determine...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Aussie Computer Terminology - Getting ready for Broadband in the bush!! A little bit of Aussie culcha. LOGON: Adding wood to make the barbie hotter.LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbie.MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbie.DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the ute.HARD DRIVE: Making th...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

The train was quite crowded, so a U.S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle.The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?'The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular 'A...

dishlicker · dishlicker

The judge says to a double murder defendant, "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer." A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out "You bastard!" The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother in law to death with a hammer." The voice in the back of the courtroom ye...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A Lawyer and a Senior A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily. So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game. The senior is tired and just wants to take a na...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

Yarra · Yarra

Three friends married women from different parts of the world.....The first man married a Filipino. He told her that she was to do the dishesand house cleaning.It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a cleanhouse and dishes washed and put away.The second man married a Thai. He...

Yarra · Yarra

* 1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.* Female...... Any part under a car's hood. Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra. *2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.* Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male..... Playing football without a cup. *3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer you're assigned to hell."So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of accommodations and starts designing and b...

Yarra · Yarra

A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police."What are those knives doing in your car?" Asked the officer."I use them in my juggling act," says the juggler."Oh yeah? Let`s see you do it." Says the policeman.So the man gets out of the car and starts tossing and juggling the knive...

goldfinger · goldfinger

Three elderly golfers are walking down the fairway. "Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60 year old...you always feel like you have to pee...and most of the time nothing happens.. "Ahh, that's nothing boys", said the 70 year old. When you're 70,you don't have a decent bowel movement anymore. You t...

goldfinger · goldfinger

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Poor Irish....another one (Preview) An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. 'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds. When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lbs...	Woody2	1	966	11:26 AM Jun 4, 2016 by grahos
	Medicare Advice (Preview) The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello." "Mrs. Sanders, please." "Speaking." "Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well... We are now uncertain...	Moorey	1	914	11:25 AM Jun 4, 2016 by grahos
	Bar joke: Dyslexia (Preview) A dyslexic man walks into a bra.	gumpybsc	4	1011	12:13 AM Jun 3, 2016 by beej
	Side Effects to Viagra.... (Preview) A woman asks her husband at breakfast time.. "Would you like some crispy bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee"?.. He declines..."Thanks for asking love, but I'm not real hungry right now...its this Viagra..it's really taken the edge off my appetite."... At l...	goldfinger	0	1251	10:05 PM Jun 2, 2016 by goldfinger
	Should I Really Join Facebook? (Priceless) (Preview) Read it all the way through! It's a good laugh! AND really quite true!!A good laugh for people in the over 70 group !!!When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music,takes videos, pictures and communicates with Fac...	aussie_paul	0	1271	09:20 PM Jun 2, 2016 by aussie_paul
	SpecSavers (Preview) Gday... Cheers - John	rockylizard	3	1214	06:41 PM Jun 2, 2016 by Baggie
	Airline Announcements (Preview) Airline Announcements: United Flight Attendant announced, 'People, people, we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!' ********** ***** ***** *** On landing, the stewardess said, 'Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to lea...**	Woody2	1	1515	10:47 AM Jun 1, 2016 by Brownie2
	Some things you just can't explain (Preview) The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain." "So what happened that is so horrible?" the man asked. The farmer then decides to try an answer, "Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked it over.""That's no...	Yarra	5	1253	08:56 AM Jun 1, 2016 by Bryan
	Political...BUT funny if you vote LNP... Sorry Cindy.. (Preview) This message is forwarded as a community service! No political bias intended. Einstein developed this remarkable theory: Energy = Mass x Speed of Light squared....... A brilliant genius as we all know. A lesser known application of Einstein's formula determine...	aussie_paul	5	1264	07:20 AM Jun 1, 2016 by dorian
	NBN In The Bush (Preview) *Aussie Computer Terminology - Getting ready for Broadband in the bush!!* A little bit of Aussie culcha. *LOGON: Adding wood to make the barbie hotter.LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbie.MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbie.DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the ute.HARD DRIVE: Making th...*	Wombat 280	0	1015	07:14 PM May 30, 2016 by Wombat 280
	British humour (Preview) The train was quite crowded, so a U.S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle.The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?'The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular 'A...	aussie_paul	3	1060	08:59 PM May 29, 2016 by Baggie
	Have a laugh. (Preview) The judge says to a double murder defendant, "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer." A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out "You bastard!" The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother in law to death with a hammer." The voice in the back of the courtroom ye...	dishlicker	0	1139	05:01 PM May 29, 2016 by dishlicker
	A Lawyer and a Senior (Preview) A Lawyer and a Senior A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily. So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game. The senior is tired and just wants to take a na...	aussie_paul	0	928	12:38 PM May 29, 2016 by aussie_paul
	Oops.... (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	0	1011	08:11 PM May 28, 2016 by aussie_paul
	A Glasgow Girl (Preview) Three friends married women from different parts of the world.....The first man married a Filipino. He told her that she was to do the dishesand house cleaning.It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a cleanhouse and dishes washed and put away.The second man married a Thai. He...	Yarra	0	908	01:17 PM May 28, 2016 by Yarra
	Different meanings (Preview) * 1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.* Female...... Any part under a car's hood. Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male..... Playing football without a cup. *3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-...	Yarra	0	978	07:17 PM May 27, 2016 by Yarra
	An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. (Preview) An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer you're assigned to hell."So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of accommodations and starts designing and b...	aussie_paul	1	821	06:13 PM May 27, 2016 by gumpybsc
	Juggler stopped by the police (Preview) A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police."What are those knives doing in your car?" Asked the officer."I use them in my juggling act," says the juggler."Oh yeah? Let`s see you do it." Says the policeman.So the man gets out of the car and starts tossing and juggling the knive...	Yarra	1	969	05:10 PM May 27, 2016 by grahos
	Three elderly golfers are walking down the fairway.....plus 2nd Joke tad off colour.... (Preview) Three elderly golfers are walking down the fairway. "Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60 year old...you always feel like you have to pee...and most of the time nothing happens.. "Ahh, that's nothing boys", said the 70 year old. When you're 70,you don't have a decent bowel movement anymore. You t...	goldfinger	0	1125	07:08 PM May 26, 2016 by goldfinger
	New Trump Billboard in Times Square??...tad off colour.. (Preview)	goldfinger	0	744	06:50 PM May 26, 2016 by goldfinger
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