Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A man and woman were married for many years. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" Neighbours feared him. The old ma...

Dreamweaver · Dreamweaver

And the Lord said to Jacob "Come forth and you will receive eternal life". But Jacob came fifth and got a toaster.

dorian · dorian

A police officer called the station on his radio. "I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped." "Have you arrested the woman?" "Not yet. The floor's still wet." [url]http://clubadventist.com/forum...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

My Long Search for my Ideal Job 1. My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate. 2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe. 3. After that, I tried being a tailor, but wasn't suited for it mainly be...

kiwijims · kiwijims

I was at the bar the other night and overheard three very hefty women talking at the bar Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland? One of them angrily screeched, "It's Wales, Wales you bloody idiot!" So I apologized...

astroid60 · astroid60

SEENAGER I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I dont have to go to school or work. I get an allowance (pensions). I have my own pad. I dont have a curfew.I have a drivers license and my own car. I have ID that gets me into bars. The pe...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

METHINKS THIS HAS BEEN ADAPTED TO COVER OUR PAST 4 X LEADERS, HOWEVER, WHY NOT AGAIN ! Bill Shorten walked into a bank to cash a chequeWhen hes called over to the teller, he says, "Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me?"The teller r...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

JC.

Yarra · Yarra

Yesterday morning I bought two cases of beer on sale at the Beer Store.I placed them on the front seat and headed back home.I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde was filling up her car at the next pump.Although it was very cold she was wearing a very short skirt and a light jac...

kandagal · kandagal

There was an Englishman, A Scotsman & an Irishman who all wanted to attend the Olympic Games but had no money for a ticket. The Englishman had an idea & he picked up a long pole he saw lying on the ground, tucked it under his arm & walked up to the gate & said, "Gibson, England, pole v...

Aus-Kiwi · Aus-Kiwi

http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/racing/72356960/new-zealand-racing-commentator-takes-pop-at-wallabies-while-calling-race

Possum3 · Possum3

A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat, agreed to look after her neighbour's male dog while the neighbour was on vacation. She had a large house and she believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. ... However, as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard awful howling and moaning sounds...

spida · spida

What I Want In A Man! Original List: 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32) 1. Nice looking 2. Opens car d...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal, you've graduated from the best schools, your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normal...

rockylizard · rockylizard

-- Edited by rockylizard on Wednesday 23rd of September 2015 11:26:41 AM

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Yarra · Yarra

Winner of Chicago Tribune's best tweet of the week:"I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant but apparently it just changes the colour of the baby."

Spydermann · Spydermann

Did I read that sign right? . . . (An oldie but a goodie.)TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat:AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a London department store:BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS In an office:WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK...

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing. Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied. 'Two years older than me.' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. She re...

Aus-Kiwi · Aus-Kiwi

Naughty but ok ? Aha -- Edited by Aus-Kiwi on Saturday 12th of September 2015 10:14:50 PM -- Edited by Aus-Kiwi on Saturday 12th of September 2015 10:16:31 PM

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	JOKES - ENJOY! (Preview) A man and woman were married for many years. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" Neighbours feared him. The old ma...	aussie_paul	1	1281	08:27 PM Sep 30, 2015 by Felicia
	Religious joke (Preview) And the Lord said to Jacob "Come forth and you will receive eternal life". But Jacob came fifth and got a toaster.	Dreamweaver	0	799	07:48 PM Sep 30, 2015 by Dreamweaver
	Wet floor (Preview) A police officer called the station on his radio. "I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped." "Have you arrested the woman?" "Not yet. The floor's still wet." [url]http://clubadventist.com/forum...	dorian	2	875	05:53 PM Sep 30, 2015 by 03_Troopy
	My Long Search for my Ideal Job... (Preview) My Long Search for my Ideal Job 1. My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate. 2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe. 3. After that, I tried being a tailor, but wasn't suited for it mainly be...	aussie_paul	2	949	01:12 PM Sep 30, 2015 by grahos
	Thar she blows (Preview) I was at the bar the other night and overheard three very hefty women talking at the bar Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland? One of them angrily screeched, "It's Wales, Wales you bloody idiot!" So I apologized...	kiwijims	1	857	01:10 PM Sep 30, 2015 by grahos
	Seenager (Preview) SEENAGER I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I dont have to go to school or work. I get an allowance (pensions). I have my own pad. I dont have a curfew.I have a drivers license and my own car. I have ID that gets me into bars. The pe...	astroid60	4	1416	08:27 PM Sep 28, 2015 by grahos
	Bill shorten well probably any of our so called leaders really (Preview) METHINKS THIS HAS BEEN ADAPTED TO COVER OUR PAST 4 X LEADERS, HOWEVER, WHY NOT AGAIN ! Bill Shorten walked into a bank to cash a chequeWhen hes called over to the teller, he says, "Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me?"The teller r...	Woody n Sue	3	931	08:24 PM Sep 28, 2015 by grahos
	THERE AR TIMES WHEN> (Preview) JC.	justcruisin01	2	1030	08:15 PM Sep 28, 2015 by justcruisin01
	The Barter System (Preview) Yesterday morning I bought two cases of beer on sale at the Beer Store.I placed them on the front seat and headed back home.I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde was filling up her car at the next pump.Although it was very cold she was wearing a very short skirt and a light jac...	Yarra	1	1027	05:38 AM Sep 28, 2015 by 03_Troopy
	Free Entry (Preview) There was an Englishman, A Scotsman & an Irishman who all wanted to attend the Olympic Games but had no money for a ticket. The Englishman had an idea & he picked up a long pole he saw lying on the ground, tucked it under his arm & walked up to the gate & said, "Gibson, England, pole v...	kandagal	0	1207	04:16 AM Sep 25, 2015 by kandagal
	What do you do in a 4 horse race ? Tell a joke .. Good ole NZ - Aussie banter .. (Preview) http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/racing/72356960/new-zealand-racing-commentator-takes-pop-at-wallabies-while-calling-race	Aus-Kiwi	0	825	09:52 PM Sep 24, 2015 by Aus-Kiwi
	A telephone call to the vet. (Preview) A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat, agreed to look after her neighbour's male dog while the neighbour was on vacation. She had a large house and she believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. ... However, as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard awful howling and moaning sounds...	Possum3	0	870	07:46 AM Sep 24, 2015 by Possum3
	What I want in a man (Preview) What I Want In A Man! Original List: 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32) 1. Nice looking 2. Opens car d...	spida	1	1004	01:38 AM Sep 24, 2015 by Young Simmo
	The winking problem.... (Preview) A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal, you've graduated from the best schools, your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normal...	Goldfinger	2	826	03:00 PM Sep 23, 2015 by iana
	Sheepish (Preview) -- Edited by rockylizard on Wednesday 23rd of September 2015 11:26:41 AM	rockylizard	0	892	08:17 AM Sep 23, 2015 by rockylizard
	Complete or finished what's the difference (Preview)	Woody n Sue	2	916	12:48 PM Sep 22, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	Tweet of the week (Preview) Winner of Chicago Tribune's best tweet of the week:"I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant but apparently it just changes the colour of the baby."	Yarra	0	933	11:03 AM Sep 19, 2015 by Yarra
	Did I read it right (Preview) Did I read that sign right? . . . (An oldie but a goodie.)TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat:AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a London department store:BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS In an office:WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK...	Spydermann	0	1231	11:38 AM Sep 17, 2015 by Spydermann
	A few quickies by a 75 year old, sorry I meant 7.5 years. (Preview) You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing. Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied. 'Two years older than me.' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. She re...	Young Simmo	0	1004	11:53 PM Sep 16, 2015 by Young Simmo
	I guess this says it .. Bad moon rising .. Aha (Preview) Naughty but ok ? Aha -- Edited by Aus-Kiwi on Saturday 12th of September 2015 10:14:50 PM -- Edited by Aus-Kiwi on Saturday 12th of September 2015 10:16:31 PM	Aus-Kiwi	1	868	06:36 PM Sep 16, 2015 by Gunsondeck
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